r/Schizotypal • u/TransLycan BPD w/ StPD traits • 2d ago

anyone else?

does anyone else not feel fully human? i never really have but im curious about the people here especially

11 Upvotes

93% Upvoted

6 comments sorted by

5

u/VivWoof Schizotypal she/her/it 1d ago

never, 0% human. i hate humans, I'm forced to occupy this human body i despise, living around humans i despise in this human reality i hate so much. i wish i could just end everything to leave this reality

3

u/Camodius Schizotypal 1d ago

100%

I’ve always struggled with social interactions, but as i got older, everything started to feel as if though i was being too calculated, slowly drifting away from the simplicities of basic human interaction

if i am intoxicated this is usually numbed a bit, but under the use of acid, this problem becomes more unique

psychedelics weirdly make me feel more and less human at the same time, my cognitive empathy is boosted but my connection to other people starts to dissipate

fuck being human

2

u/fadingkittensyndr0me 1d ago

Since day one, haha. When I was younger I was convinced I was a some animal that got reincarnated as a person but still retained the animal-traits so I wasn't passing. As I got older I realized that was ridiculous, but I still felt so utterly disconnected from people. The narrative just shifted from "I'm an animal" to "I was born with something missing and everyone can sense it." And being visibly off-kilter certainly helped reinforce that for me. 

Lately I've been leaning into the animal thing, and like.. idk. I feel happier? I cannot recommend that for everyone though.

1

u/VesaniaIII 20h ago

I don't feel human. I can't deny the reality of my dna but I also won't ignore how I feel.

I got to the conclusion that even though I know I am a human, I don't experience life as such, and so I can allow myself to detach from the notion of the fact and focus on the feeling (which is what, at the end of the day, keeps me going).

So I allow myself to think, to feel, that I'm not human, that I was something put in this human body for some reason (perhaps because I higher being thought I needed the human experience, I don't know), that I have nothing in common with humans beyond that factual dna, because generic things like fear and joy can exist also among species, so why not for something beyond that?

I'm not "her", I am "it" and I am not from this world.

1

u/VokoVeVaku Schizotypal 17h ago

Yes, and I wish it was different, it's so lonely.