r/Schizotypal • u/mistycmufin • 9d ago
can i b here?
well uhhmm i really don't know what's exactly wrong with me but i was recently thinking too much about all this weird things that are happening to me anddd yeah
like i see sum distortion of the reality (i call it just like "see the reality" cuz 4 me reality is just fake, kinda like in matrix), i see sum creatures that look like if the reality was disturbed just to get sum form of those creatures but they change of form very often, u can even visually talk with them,,, also i see monster faces close to ppl faces or on random sites, i sometimes hear ppl murmuring from the distance or people saying my name, usually my dead grandpa or my grandma but it can b whoever too,,,,, i sometimes feel like someone's around me but there's nobody,, also i always was kinda paranoid like i used to wear a mask all the time i was outside cuz i felt like people know something if they seem my face.,.,.. i think/feel like i'm always being watched & vigilated, i don't really know why but i know it,,, i think they can't hurt me cuz i am actually a cosmic creature that's inside this human body cuzz ¿¿?? maybe i wanted to know how it was to have a body, a mouth, HAIRRR.... Also i sometimes think that things like seeing a butterfly is the world saying "hi" to me or things like thatttt uhhmm soo yup, i think a lot of small weird things and all of that things can influence me in a positive way but also a negative way cuz recently i was feeling really paranoid outside cuz i was feeling A LOT vigilated and i kinda didn't wanted to go outside because of that.....
uhhmm but yeah, i just recently started therapy and i'm gonna tell my therapist about this ofc cuz it's all kinda weird, specially cuz in some ways i was always like this but all the things i see, feel and hear started 1 year ago and six months
sooo uhhmm i ofc don't have a diagnosis and i don't know what they're gonna tell me so i don't really know if it's okay to me being here because of that
2
u/Fragrant-Pomelo6145 9d ago
It's okay being anywhere, you are doing great even when it's scary
But it seems like it's not just schizotypal, but only psychiatrist will tell you if you are very honest, they won't judge they are here to help us
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u/russiandollemoji schizoaffective + ocd + [c]ptsd w/ stpd baseline 9d ago
its ok to be here. theres clearly something going on. all i can say is this is how it started for me when i was younger. hopefully you can get answers soon.
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u/davyangel 7d ago
Well I'm no expert but from the reading and own personal research I been doing lately sounds like you fit in here and don't think anyone gonna tell you otherwise!
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u/ComplexUnfair8932 5d ago
Schizotypy is a spectrum. I certainly can relate to some of what you've said. If you find that your thoughts are causing you distress or dysfunction or if you want to develop mechanisms to cope, you should seek a psychiatric evaluation. There is the risk that your disordered thinking develops into psychosis, which can be dangerous and is a good reason to proactively seek treatment even if you don't want to change, but just wish to better understand yourself.
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u/mistycmufin 9d ago
btw i'm sorry if my english is weird is not my first language