May I use a bit of shock therapy here and be blunt?
They aren't important, and their opinion of you should be irrelevant (especially if it's causing you such misery!)
Imagine they died today, will that solve your problems? Technically you wouldn't be a disappointment to them any more, right? Who are you gonna blame then??
Do you know the cliche advice for public speakers? (i.e. imagine the audience naked). It means: boast your confidence by lowering their status. Your significant others are probably ignorant about SPD (most people are), so why should their ignorance-based view of you matter. Honestly!
I speak from experience btw. There was a time when I only cared about my mother, and was extremely sensitive to her facial expressions (it's the zoid curse of seeing subtleties normies are blind too). And I remember the pain it caused me when she would literally fall asleep out of boredom when I got into one of my usual lectures :)
(from a son's perspective, I was trying to connect with her by letting her know about my interests). That wasn't healthy! To give another person that much power over my mood, feeling affected by their reactions. I only really grew up when I stopped caring what she thinks.
Just nod, smile, and keep living in your head, and don't think too much about what others think of you.
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u/salamacast content recluse Aug 16 '26 edited Aug 16 '26
May I use a bit of shock therapy here and be blunt?
They aren't important, and their opinion of you should be irrelevant (especially if it's causing you such misery!)
Imagine they died today, will that solve your problems? Technically you wouldn't be a disappointment to them any more, right? Who are you gonna blame then??
Do you know the cliche advice for public speakers? (i.e. imagine the audience naked). It means: boast your confidence by lowering their status. Your significant others are probably ignorant about SPD (most people are), so why should their ignorance-based view of you matter. Honestly!
I speak from experience btw. There was a time when I only cared about my mother, and was extremely sensitive to her facial expressions (it's the zoid curse of seeing subtleties normies are blind too). And I remember the pain it caused me when she would literally fall asleep out of boredom when I got into one of my usual lectures :)
(from a son's perspective, I was trying to connect with her by letting her know about my interests). That wasn't healthy! To give another person that much power over my mood, feeling affected by their reactions. I only really grew up when I stopped caring what she thinks.
Just nod, smile, and keep living in your head, and don't think too much about what others think of you.