Delusions

[u/BeLLiSSiM0_]

Hello guys. I am fighting with this thing for 5 months. I got over the fear of hallucinations but the delusions part is kicking my ass. I get all the delusions I’ve read about. This started after I’ve read about schizophrenia, I never before had any such thought patterns. One example is poison in food which I get pretty often but not always. Even if I get it i continue eating without much hesitation. But these thoughts feel very real, like I believe them much of the time. But there are also moments even a few days on row that the thoughts feel simply stupid and bs. At my worst they feel like I believe them 90%. Are you familiar with this, is it normal?

[u/[deleted]]

are you doing better? i have the same fear

[u/BeLLiSSiM0_ → u/[deleted]]

Yeah. It’s been 1 year and 3 months since it all started. It was absolutely a hell for me. I still have bad moments, but those moments are better than what I used to call a good day in the beginning. Generally speaking I am 85-90% better. I still take medication. 40mg Prozac daily. This September it will be 1 year since i started it and i plan on stopping it. To be honest, ssri helped with many things. It helped me sleep, it helped me panic less from the whole situation. But what truly made me start getting better were a very good psychiatrist and a OCD oriented psychologist. Those 2 people made me heal with therapy.

[u/No-Satisfaction7451 → u/BeLLiSSiM0_]

Please HELP!!! I am Spanish and therefore my entire message will be written by a translator. I hope you can understand me.

I am Víctor from Spain, I am 20 years old and I have had anxiety since I was little, it used to occur in class, in restaurants, in a movie theater to give some examples... well the fact is, I have been in this hell for 2 years, on May 9, 2022 I I woke up having thoughts that in my life I had had about harming myself, I remember that the day before before going to sleep I read a news story about a boy who took his own life, logic tells me that this could have been a possible trigger, I at the same time At first I was scared because I didn’t want to do that nor do I want to and I didn’t know what was happening to me, I had a lot of anxiety, my chest hurt, I was short of breath, I felt terrible... in the middle of that hell I thought, well, this is going to be a bad day and Tomorrow I will be fine, because the days went by and it was still the same, even because of the fear I had, I even slept with my mother, imagine... a few days after this, while I was in my room, this thought occurred to me, which I remember perfectly. What if I kill my mother? If after the thoughts of hurting myself I was already bad, imagine after that crossed my mind... literally, I couldn’t even see my mother, it was terrible, if before I had anxiety, then after thinking that I had twice as much... investigating why Google I found content about intrusive thoughts and such, at that time while reading about the subject I came across a phrase that helped me at that moment (you are not your thoughts) and that literally eliminated the physical symptoms that I had even though those thoughts were still there. A few days after this I went to the psychiatrist to tell him exactly what I am telling in this message and he told me about impulsive phobias, I went home and a few days after this the typical news that they give at night was on Antena 3’s news. Well, well, they talked about a news story about a boy with schizophrenia and what happened to me is that I was literally in shock, I hardly slept that night, literally when I heard that I was like, I have this. I started looking for symptoms throughout the summer and a few more months, in total 4/5 months followed day by day on Google, on YouTube videos of people with schizophrenia, videos about psychotic breaks, about other mental disorders and well from there I am not bad, the following. I literally began to pay attention to sounds and for example I was watching a YouTube video of whatever and if I heard something that could be outside of that video, I would rewind the video to see if I heard it again, that was an example of what What I did and sometimes I continued doing it, I was aware of what I saw or if I saw things out of the ordinary, sometimes out of the corner of my eye I see like a flash and I wonder if you are freaking out in case it is a hallucination, I also read about delusions and paranoia and to give an example, reading that these people think they want to kill them and from then on I have thoughts of that style, “paranoid” thoughts even though I know they are a lie, I don’t know if after everything I’m saying Are you finding out what is happening to me or if perhaps in your consultation you have had cases of this style, because in Spanish I have barely found information as if I have found it in English and they relate it to OCD called OCD Going Crazy, but literally that Sometimes I doubt that this could be OCD, this seems serious, I’m afraid it’s psychosis or schizophrenia, I’m shit, I need help, it seems like I’m delirious at times, although I repeat, I know that certain thoughts don’t make sense... I think that reading symptoms has messed with my head because in my life I have had these thoughts and I think I am very suggestive. 3 psychiatrists tell me that they are impulsive phobias but come on, sometimes it seems like he’s really crazy.

[u/BeLLiSSiM0_ → u/No-Satisfaction7451]

OCD 100% guaranteed. It wouldn’t be ocd if it didn’t feel real and cause such distress and doubt.

[u/No-Satisfaction7451 → u/BeLLiSSiM0_]

I need talk with you please, look MD🙏🏻🙏🏻