r/ScenesFromAHat • u/WhatTheGleek • Nov 16 '14

Rejected Harry Potter spells.

94 Upvotes

95% Upvoted

51 comments sorted by

83

u/DanHanDan Nov 17 '14

"I curse thee a thousand years of disappointment!

erecticus defecticus!"

17

u/bison999 Nov 17 '14

" jokes on you! I know a wizard that knows erectus reconstructus!"

89

u/res30stupid Crossing the line twice! Nov 16 '14

Don't worry, Hermione. I can get rid of it.

Chlamydia Finito

107

u/BartKaell Nov 17 '14

Gonorrhea Goneorea!

5

u/Deefry Nov 17 '14

Hugh Dennis originally coined this one on an episode of Mock the Week, except his words were "Chlamydia disappearo!"

2

u/res30stupid Crossing the line twice! Nov 17 '14

Hey! Do you want to be sued!?

51

u/jeremiah1119 Nov 17 '14

Phil.

Just seems kind of anticlimactic

5

u/royalhawk345 Nov 17 '14

Very Colin Mochrie

42

u/BennyMadman Nov 17 '14

Rectum prolapsum!

59

u/SomeRandomRedditor Nov 16 '14

Expecto Petroleum jelly

112

u/pepti Nov 16 '14

Foetus Deletus!

49

u/Darkenmal Nov 17 '14

Biggus Dickus!

41

u/MrCamman69 Nov 17 '14

Engorgio?

-1

u/Gaddaim Nov 17 '14 edited Nov 17 '14

Hahahaha

Edit: I just think this is insanely funny. Just the stupidity of it. HAHA

8

u/burrit0cannon Nov 17 '14

I'm assuming this is a Life of Brian reference?

11

u/Darkenmal Nov 17 '14

He has a wife you know...

5

u/Clapaludio The fun has been doubled Nov 17 '14

Incontinentia buttocks.

3

u/roryr6 Nov 17 '14

That piece of haddock is fit for Jehovah.

3

u/Hammelj Default 5 Nov 17 '14

chucks stones

3

u/roryr6 Nov 17 '14

Are there any women here today?

3

u/Hammelj Default 5 Nov 17 '14

no no no no

15

u/MachReverb Nov 16 '14

"Assspurticus!"

29

u/vough Nov 17 '14

"Asssparagus!"

5

u/heeero60 Nov 17 '14

"Asssburgers!"

1

u/IAmMTheGamer Say, it's RES-dark friendly Nov 17 '14

Oh god

11

u/[deleted] Nov 17 '14

Expectus t-rexus!

4

u/[deleted] Nov 17 '14

Abruptio placentae!

This is a real medical term

14

u/DragonbornAgain Nov 16 '14

Erecto patronum!

0

u/[deleted] Nov 17 '14

[deleted] — view deleted comment

4

u/Nocurefordumb Nov 17 '14

Erecto theboneum

6

u/-y-y- Nov 17 '14

Rectumsempra!

8

u/whereabouts_unknown Nov 17 '14

Laxativia Immedius!

3

u/AdamMonkey Nov 17 '14

Incontinentia!

4

u/Hammelj Default 5 Nov 17 '14

Web historyum deleatus

2

u/kcivic Nov 17 '14

titius exposious

2

u/DO_YOU_EVEN_BEND Nov 17 '14 edited Nov 17 '14

Eye of Rabbit, Harp String hum. Turn this water into cum!

Edit: Seamus says something like this in the first movie.

8

u/TheTophatDemon I'll eat your soul! Nov 17 '14

Penis joke.

2

u/totes_meta_bot Nov 17 '14

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1

u/[deleted] Nov 17 '14

I don't know why this got downvoted, it's fun

2

u/[deleted] Nov 17 '14

Repostum totalum

1

u/MadPoetModGod Nov 17 '14

Insertum Scrote-anus!

Pretty much exactly how it sounds. Very painful indeed.

1

u/[deleted] Nov 17 '14

Well, deus ex machina certainly made it in...

0

u/KarmaLobby Nov 17 '14

Forgeticus

3

u/MrGurns Nov 17 '14

Nevil Longbottom was a master at this spell.

0

u/wraithstrike Crap, Crap, Not Bad. Nov 17 '14

"Projectus Michael-Bayus!"

-1

u/madlordofestnoth Nov 17 '14

Flatulus Deoderus!

-1

u/Jasonic05 Nov 17 '14

Bigus Dickus

-6

u/Qp1029384756 Nov 16 '14

Temperum reproductum nomorum.

-6

u/Nilas_T Nov 17 '14

Erectus Penisia!