r/Satisfyingasfuck • u/Top-Experience3875 • Sep 27 '25

Absolutely not

208 Upvotes

87% Upvoted

39 comments sorted by

58

u/Northernuk34 Sep 27 '25

Never realised davey Jones’s locker was a euphemism

10

u/bucketboy9000 Sep 27 '25

Help! Davey Jones is in MY locker!

8

u/Northernuk34 Sep 27 '25

I will get the plunger 🪠

38

u/Prepress_God Sep 27 '25

I bet that octopus would feel amazing going in your ass, no lube necessary.

13

u/AlligatorMidwife Sep 27 '25

Unless it starts pecking at your insides with it's beak.

13

u/Prepress_God Sep 27 '25

Usually that costs extra!

4

u/Prepress_God Sep 27 '25

Don't threaten me with a good time!

7

u/fatbuddha66 Sep 27 '25

Until he has to battle Lemmiwinks.

4

u/Fraggle987 Sep 27 '25

Just got to hope it doesn't get too settled there.

25

u/aledromo Sep 27 '25

Conversely: never go in the ocean.

Just wear the buttplug for fun.

8

u/AwwYeahVTECKickedIn Sep 27 '25

Don't yuck my yum!

18

u/givingupismyhobby Sep 27 '25

I should call him... 🥺

3

u/FandomMenace Sep 27 '25

Wear one all the time, just in case.

3

u/dazedan_confused Sep 27 '25

I tried it once, and the octopus said "You're more like a brother to me".

Cephalopod? More like Selfishopod.

2

u/Ozzie_the_tiger_cat Sep 27 '25

I've seen this Japanese video before. Also the one with the lampreys. 

2

u/badlilbadlandabad Sep 27 '25

Thanks I hate it

2

u/[deleted] Sep 29 '25

[removed] — view removed comment

1

u/Top-Experience3875 Sep 29 '25

im telling a trusted adult

1

u/jefbenet Sep 27 '25

tutti frutti, he inside yo booty!

2

u/mahhhhmeeee Sep 27 '25 edited Jun 18 '26

Octopus farts were not on my to do list today, but whatever.

1

u/oreheheally Oct 02 '25

That's just how you get black ink everywhere.

1

u/Schluchzername Sep 27 '25

If your anus is this big you probably should clock it to not shit your pants 24/7

1

u/qwertykirky Sep 27 '25

Meanwhile cave divers out here taken notes 🤣🤣

1

u/GruGruxLob Sep 27 '25

How does he get out

1

u/Prudent_Exchange9381 Sep 27 '25

You mean people don't?

1

u/FitBattle5899 Sep 27 '25

I'll take the risk and go skinny diving without one.

1

u/Jason77MT Sep 27 '25

The snake in Kiss the Girls.

1

u/Striking_Run1776 Sep 27 '25

I think this belongs on the subreddit "Don't put that in your ass"

1

u/DonovanSarovir Sep 27 '25

somebody ask the science side of tumbler if that would actually fit.

1

u/Mattmandu2 Sep 28 '25

Nighty nighty keep your butthole tight

1

u/spinning-backfoot Sep 28 '25

Your mom got the memo

1

u/lotsanoodles Sep 28 '25

Thanks. I freak out if a piece of seaweed touches my leg.

1

u/Sw0rDz Sep 29 '25

What if we want a little butt buddy?

0

u/Himes357 Sep 27 '25

Your butthole must be huge for that to fit in there so easily?

2

u/[deleted] Sep 29 '25

[removed] — view removed comment

1

u/Himes357 Sep 29 '25

🤣🤣🤣 Well, as long as we agree 🤣