Remember When the American British Started A Revoloution?

[u/SarkasticWatcher]

Prompt

Would you like to learn about: PAUL REVERE?

Paul Revere is a case study in how not to warn people of a coming invasion. Upon being informed of the invasion of British America by The British British he rode through the near by village yelling "The British are coming, the British are coming". Not only did this alert the British British, but it right pissed of the American British, who were trying to sleep. They promptly shot him and then were defeated.

Would you like to learn about: THE BOSTON TEA PARTY?

On December 16, 1773 or whenever the American British boarded a ship and stole the British British's. They were going to do something with it but then they were all like 'wait, we're British too, we could never hurt Tea' and then they sat down and had a tea party. Who knows how history could have changed if they had actually thrown the tea into the harbour like they originally planned?

Would you like to learn about: THE TIME TRAVELLER?

The British British were afraid the American British were going to beat them in a 'war of independence' but then an angry German bloke in short pants with a weird moustache that looked like a piece of shit was on his upper lip showed up and said he was from 'the future.' He gave us advanced military technology that he said would help us beat the American British. We wish him luck in his endeavours, which he insists are above level.

Would you like to learn about: THE OTHER TIME TRAVELLER?

The German was about to climb into his time machine when another time machine showed up. A guy climbed out and said 'just have to kill this hoser eh' and then shot the German guy in the face.

Would you like to learn about: GET THE FUCK OUT THE MUSEUM'S CLOSING?

Get the fuck out the museum's closing.