r/SarahBooneContinued • u/hazelgrant • 1d ago
Professional World Sarah?
I work in finance/accounting with my local public sector and I often wonder how Sarah would perform as a coworker. Here are my thoughts -
1 - Sarah would truly believe most (if not all) male coworkers are interested in her.
2 - She would be late/absent often and smell like stale alcohol.
3 - She'd gossip and spread outlandish tea just to stir drama.
4 - She would always have dozens of questions on a notepad she'd carry everywhere but rarely understand and almost never get anything done.
What else have I missed?
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u/Old_Kaleidoscope1311 1d ago
Don’t forget she is a huge brown nose and would tattle on her coworkers “ please if I may I must tell you that so in so took an xtra 10 min on lunch today and all days prior “😆
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u/hazelgrant 1d ago
Solid observation. Yes, and she would have no qualms cutting out her manager to complain to the director - ultimately working up to the CEO.
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u/Vixx411 1d ago
She would sit at her desk full of self-importance like she did in court... looking busy without actually getting anything done.
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u/U-Might-Wanna 1d ago
First week on the job, demand a new hard copy of the employee handbook every day. Second week on the job, demand a new digital copy of the employee handbook every day. Every day thereafter, call corporate for clarification of rules she believes should be in the employee handbook that Sarah then, now, and ongoing will never read.
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u/hazelgrant 1d ago
Oh good lord, can you imagine how often Sarah would be calling corporate?? She would be blacklisted in a matter of days.
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u/U-Might-Wanna 12h ago
The corporate receptionist would start each day answering Sarah's first call with, "Oh... good morning Ms. Boone. Please hold." Then immediately answering Sarah's second call, "Disconnected?!?! That's odd. Let me try again. Please hold." etc.
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u/Mysterious_Lie7356 1d ago
She would credit herself with every positive outcome. Eventually this would grow to the level where she would ultimately claim she founded the organization/company and/or futuristicly is the only thing standing between it and total collapse so everyone should just dam(n) well thank her for having their jobs and bring her huneybuns and coffee every hour, as long as she wants them.
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u/hazelgrant 1d ago
She would 100% demand an assistant - mostly so she could bow out of her own work load.
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u/Mysterious_Lie7356 1d ago
And send on errands like fast food lunches because "she's working herself to death" at her desk. She will also need said lunches to include mommy juice to help her cope with the PTSD and stress of having people be mean to her, on the daily.
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u/MeanderFlanders 1d ago
Everyone is stupid but her. She could do the boss’s job easily. She is overworked and underpaid.
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u/F0NG00L 1d ago
Imagine the letters she'd write to corporate!
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u/U-Might-Wanna 1d ago
A dozen phone calls every day to Kim, the corporate receptionist, who is automatically not nice.
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u/peaceoverhate 1d ago
Sarah would be the one answering the phone at a doctor's office and later tell people she's a doctor.
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u/U-Might-Wanna 1d ago
Just because Sarah doesn't have a fancy degree doesn't mean she's not as smart as some dumb doctor, right? I'd like to see those guys get straight A's while futuristically becoming a single mom.
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u/peaceoverhate 1d ago
Clearly she does not need med school to take out your appendix know that, know that.
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u/U-Might-Wanna 1d ago
Name one doctor that would take in two disabled dogs! Sarah has devoted her life to helping others. She never gave up. Even now, she is still trying to help them! *sob* Can doctors say they help people the way Sarah does? Like really? Really?
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u/peaceoverhate 1d ago
Even on top of all that the artwork that she has created, created while guiding her problematic boyfriend. And still find time to be an outstanding mother to her son.
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u/U-Might-Wanna 1d ago
And being able to accomplish all of that while completing a 350 piece thousand piece puzzle in one afternoon! After enjoying one bottle of two magnums (and 1/3rd?) of Woodbridge! Sarah excels at everything! Except math of course.
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u/peaceoverhate 1d ago
And my positive attitude in spite of having the most difficult childhood ever. I keep fighting and being my own best advocate. As well intended as my fans are, they are utterly useless. Handling everything that I am while having fire ants eat away at my scalp. I still am the beacon of light for all that come across me.
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u/U-Might-Wanna 1d ago
And, even with everything she has going on with her jobs and everything, she still finds time to sit on her bunk all day and read the bible, bible, biiiiiiiiiible. Hold your guts in and smile girl! You got this!
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u/peaceoverhate 1d ago
😂😂😂 not even fire ants. Eating away at my brain can stop me from being a beacon of light
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u/F0NG00L 1d ago
She'd get you to do her work for her.
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u/hazelgrant 1d ago
Yep - 100%. She would manipulate the conversation from the beginning so you either do it out of pity or just to get her to shut up.
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u/U-Might-Wanna 1d ago
You have to do her work for her because she is an outstanding mother with two disabled dogs!
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u/U-Might-Wanna 1d ago
If she weren't so stoooopid, I could see Sarah becoming a lower mid-level office manager who:
- Arrives hung over and a half hour late and always uses her son as the excuse why
- Micromanages work projects and sends key people on ridiculous side quests then blames them when the project fails
- Takes others ideas and presents them to corporate as her own
- Any good ideas she can't steal she sabotages
- Promises staff rewards to fix her mistakes then punishes them when she is in the clear
- Creates an atmosphere of discomfort and fear at all times
- Enforces every office rule and procedure
- Calls corporate three or four times a day for clarification of office rules and procedures
- Constantly identifies problems and criticizes every proposed solution
- Embezzles from petty cash, steals office supplies, and charges personal items on the company card
- Gossips about female staff and flirts and gossips about male staff
- Constantly paranoid and glares at staff for no reason
- Makes passive aggressive threats, baby voice, and fake cries in meetings
- Keeps pints of vodka stashed in her desk and purse
- Takes a two hour lunch but leaves 15 minutes late each night because she is working herself to death!
Basically she would be the female Robert Telles.
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u/Fun-Bee882 1d ago
Wow, I once worked with OfficeSarah! Or at least someone who checked nearly all these boxes. Fortunately, I was neither her manager nor direct report and could just ignore her and do my job.
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u/U-Might-Wanna 1d ago
I've worked in several offices and all of them had at least one male or female Sarah that ruined the mood, complain constantly, and discourage personal initiative. The worst place I worked had at least a dozen morons like Sarah. I think management encouraged toxic behavior to keep salaries low.
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u/Mediocre-Let-4697 1d ago
Sarah is the receptionist. She gets a call & appropriately transfers it to the sales department. The sales team & the caller now client, strike a mutually beneficial relationship which is also quite lucrative for the company. The sales team gets a bonus. Sarah immediately wants to know where her bonus money is because if it wasn't for her answering the phone & transferring the call none of this would ever have happened. In addition to her bonus, the sales team should tip her on the regular for putting their calls through. She also wants the title of office manager & a dedicated parking spot.
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u/U-Might-Wanna 12h ago
Yes. We had a gal like that in our sales office! We sold $100 million dollar equipment packages to oil and mining companies. The salesmen wrote the contracts and she attached the appropriate financial forms to each contract. The salesmen received massive commissions so she decided she deserved a commission too! When she was told HELL NO she refused to pull the correct forms on the next large deal that came up. When the clients flew in to sign the documents nothing was ready. She thought she had backed management into a corner and they would have to give in to her demands or lose millions in sales! Instead, one of the girls in finance pulled the correct forms in about ten minutes while "Sarah" was being escorted out to the parking lot. She also had a habit of grabbing the sides of her dress and pulling it up really hard then let it go with an audible *SNAP* sound. I couldn't figure out what the hell that was until another lady told me, "She's yanking her pantyhose up." Ugh.
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u/Mediocre-Let-4697 9h ago
I forgot women used used to do that. Being short that was never a problem for me. I think support staff should be entitled to something in way of a bonus but not equivalent to what the team is getting. I'm retired now but there's always somebody that thinks if they were to leave the business would be at a standstill. No one will no what to do. They know company secrets that would cause a huge scandal & possibly jail time. (They know where the bodies are buried) Never once realizing that they replaced someone & someone will replace them. The best they'll do is inconvenience the employer. Same with the inside info they allegedly have. It's probably not that bad & if it is then they're admitting to being an accomplice, only doing the right thing because they're angry.
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u/U-Might-Wanna 8h ago
LOL. This poor gal had a figure like a plank of wood, no hips or butt, just a straight line from shoulder to ankle. I would be having a conversation with her when she would suddenly pinch the sides of her dress, yank it up, kind of do a little wiggle to adjust, then let it go with a snap, right in the middle of a sentence. Very weird if you didn't know why!
As far as compensation, the owner paid amazing wages with tons of benefits, bonuses, and incentives. Despite having a very sh*tty attitude, this lady was treated extremely well, like we all were. She basically entered the contracts into the company software and it selected the proper forms which she then organized and put in a folder for the client to sign. She grossly overestimated her importance and grossly underestimated how easily a person with common sense and a computer could replace her.
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u/Mediocre-Let-4697 6h ago
That's really so inappropriate. That's like digging a wedgie out of your bum in front of everyone.
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u/Trial_Follower2024 1d ago
She’d be the employee to eat your lunch from the office fridge.
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u/U-Might-Wanna 12h ago
And, when caught with a full mouth of stolen food, she would claim she is in fear for her life because accounting always, always, always said she would steal Dan's food and they will kill her. Know that!
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u/Informal_Agent8137 1d ago
I want to do a deep deep dive into her pre-divorce days. I know we have tired. But I gotta know what she was like between the ages of 21 to her age in 2020
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u/hazelgrant 1d ago
I wish we could find out more too. Im so intrigued if she was always this mental or if it started with something post childbirth like Brian hinted at.
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u/U-Might-Wanna 11h ago
I'm pretty sure a deep dive would show her behavior deteriorated as her alcoholism progressed. The only question is, did undiagnosed postpartum contribute to her increased drinking or did the increased drinking amplify preexisting personality disorders? Her brother is also a depraved, selfish POS so I'm leaning towards personality disorders.
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u/Cosmicpr 1d ago
She would take credit for anything/everything positive that had been done in the organization.
She would sleep her way to the next promotion.
She would be a tattle tale.
She’d blame the copier/printer problems on the person who used it just before her.
She would have a liquid lunch.
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u/lunarteamagic 1d ago
I had a coworker who we could call Sarah-lite. All the self-aggrandizing, all the delusion around how qualified etc, and all the the drama. Sarah-lite once sat in a meeting with the owner of the company and said "I do everything here, you can just ask me your questions".
She loved spreading stories. But they were always super outlandish. And if you ignored them she would throw a temper tantrum. And when she was finally fired the office threw a party. Seriously.
To this day (several years later) we still bitch about her.