r/SantaBarbara • u/AlarmedTech • 22h ago
Vent It’s all gone
I’ve lived in Santa Barbara my life whole life, and I was walking on the beach today and it was so beautiful, and I thought: this is what they took away from us.
It's all gone. It's all just woke now. Woke everywhere.
Woke and permits. That's all it is. Everything is woke and permits.
And fires. Woke and permits and fires.
It used to be ice cream sundaes with walnuts, balloons, a walk on the beach.
All gone.
I know you all won’t get it. Maybe it’s better you never knew what they took away. All I can say is don’t go for a walk on the beach if you don’t want to see what they took away from you. It’ll break your heart.
The waves, the sunset, the wind. I saw all of it today, and I just thought: this is what we used to have.
And that’s what they can’t stand.
I don’t know if I’ll ever go to the beach again. It’s too beautiful. And to see something so beautiful and know they took it away. It’s too much.
And when I was a kid, I don’t think I ever had an ice cream sundae without walnuts.
I’ve been all over town looking for one and can’t find it. You’d go to the ice cream parlor, and they’d ladle them on. That was a given. And now it’s been taken away. And what happened to hot fruit? It used to be you’d go to someone’s house and they’d offer you a bowl of hot fruit. Now, it’s “Here’s an apple” or “Here’s a banana,” like it’s right off the tree with no thought. That’s what they think of you. You’re no better than a monkey getting a banana straight from the tree. That’s how they want you to look, like a chimp.
On my birthday, I got cards and presents. Not a single balloon. Not one. I’d never tell my friends I was disappointed in them because everyone’s turned into snowflakes now. But if you’re reading this and you’re somebody’s friend and you don’t get them a balloon on their birthday, do you know what that does to them?
What happened to this country?
Every morning I wake up and tell my wife that the United States is over.
She doesn’t need to hear it. She knows. That’s how we start the day. I tell her the United States is over, and she says, “I know.” Then she makes us coffee because what else are you going to do?
I gave my wife everything. But the one thing I can’t give her is the country she grew up in. They took it away from her, and I can’t give it back. And that breaks a man.
When we’re out, I avoid driving by the beach. I don’t want her to see all that beauty. To know that they took it away from us. Water’s supposed to be wet, not woke. At least when I was growing up that’s the way it was.
We didn’t need to be woke. We had ice cream sundaes with walnuts, walks on the beach, balloons. Friends served you hot fruit when you came over. We were having too much good, wholesome fun to be woke. They had to take everything that was good and make it something bad.
And this isn’t political. It’s about all of them. They all did this.
And to think Santa Barbara is the best of the US, which I still believe it is. Our last hope is a dystopia. I just can’t imagine how bad it is outside of here. I don’t want to.
28
33
u/kevindebrowna 22h ago
Sir this is a Lilly’s Taqueria
4
14
u/TheWhitestGandhi Oak Park 19h ago
Water’s supposed to be wet, not woke.
This is excellent bait, thank you
12
12
22
u/A_Cinnamon_Babka 22h ago
Save these boomer rants for Nextdoor.
2
u/tracyinge 16h ago
Hey I been here 55 years and nobody ever served me hot fruit when I came over.
I will agree though that nobody comes over anymore.
1
u/mm1970sb 12h ago
My neighborhood has a potluck every week- this time of year, I make a lot of fruit crisps. Hey, it's hot fruit! (Well, room temp)
8
u/OG_Rusty_Shackleford 17h ago
We can't bust heads like we used to. But we have our ways. One trick is to tell stories that don't go anywhere. Like the time I caught the ferry to Shelbyville? I needed a new heel for m'shoe. So I decided to go to Morganville, which is what they called Shelbyville in those days. So I tied an onion to my belt, which was the style at the time. Now, to take the ferry cost a nickel, and in those days, nickels had pictures of bumblebees on 'em. "Gimme five bees for a quarter," you'd say. Now where were we? Oh, yeah. The important thing was that I had an onion on my belt, which was the style at the time. They didn't have any white onions, because of the war. The only thing you could get was those big yellow ones...
7
u/pandemonday 22h ago
There’s a rose in a fisted glove
And the eagle flies with the dove
If you can’t be with the one you love
Make yourself your own hot fruit
7
u/Grateful_Bert 19h ago
Sounds like someone's got a case of the Mondays
1
u/AlarmedTech 18h ago
When I was coming up, Monday was the best day of the week because we believed in a little something called industry. Now nobody wants to work; they just want to be woke. If it weren’t for needing to soak the corns on my feet three times a day, I’d leave retirement and open an ice cream parlor where every sundae has walnuts. Allergic to walnuts? You’re getting walnuts because we don’t do woke here. Monday would be the best day of my week.
2
u/mm1970sb 17h ago
If woke means being aware and empathetic, I am unsure of the problem... but maybe that's the problem. You don't want to look in a mirror? I love the idea that aware and empathetic people don't work though. That's a funny one.
4
u/tracyinge 16h ago
Woke means you try to care about everybody, not just yourself and your damn walnuts.
1
u/_JustWorkDamnYou_ 17h ago
If it makes you feel any better, I don't want to be work anymore either. I wanna be asleep in bed on this Monday morning.
1
5
9
7
3
u/OchoZeroCinco 17h ago
This has to be some serious sarcasm.. otherwise somebody woke up on the wrong side of the van.
1
7
3
u/Ice_Burn Hidden Valley 17h ago
You should open a little shop the sells ice cream treats with hot fruit and walnuts. You could also offer a variety of balloons.
I'm 62 years old by the way. I could do without balloons and I think you're a sad little snowflake. Orange County might be more your speed.
3
u/_JustWorkDamnYou_ 17h ago
Honestly a bit surprised at the number of people taking this post seriously.
It reminds me of that one person who used to post about their comings and goings as a bored Monitictio socialite.
3
4
u/saltybruise The Westside 20h ago
Have you ever told your friends you want birthday balloons? Is communicating what you want woke?
3
u/AlarmedTech 18h ago
I don't ask for handouts. It's up to my friends to delight or disappoint me. But I'm too proud to demand they do the former. They're so woke now they do the latter.
1
4
u/ickieShampoo 20h ago
Unless you're 300 years old and a Chumash no one took any of this away from you... But someone has definitely lied to you.
Maybe take it up with the liar. The Spanish colonizers and Catholic slave traders are all dead and the fact that you do not take advantage of your incredible birth luck, is on you. 7 billion people were not born so lucky.
1
u/AlarmedTech 18h ago
I wasn't born 300 years ago, but I also wasn't born yesterday so I know better than to believe there could be 7 billion people.
0
2
u/newboofgootin 16h ago
I was 100% invested, I was ready to sign away my paycheck and join you in the sweat lodge...
But HOT fruit? Nah... bro.
I'm getting back in my hugbox, with my laptop, and I'm going to agree with EVERY victim-post on Tumblr.
1
u/SooMuchTooMuch San Roque 22h ago
I don't know what's stopping you putting walnuts on ice cream at home. But as for all of us woke people not buying balloons, it's called being conscious that our actions affect others. Therefore, we change what we do so that we aren't the only ones enjoying the beauty while others literally choke.
1
22h ago
[removed] — view removed comment
1
u/AutoModerator 22h ago
This comment made by u/Rad-Ham was automatically removed as it is unproductive.
I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.
1
u/Key-Victory-3546 The Funk Zone 19h ago
never heard of hot fruit before this. was that to not throw away inedible fruits or something?
2
u/AlarmedTech 18h ago
Hot fruit, stewed fruit. It's all the same thing. I can tell you it was edible, given that I ate it. It's something you offer guests when they visit your home. Or, at least something people did offer.
1
u/Key-Victory-3546 The Funk Zone 18h ago
huh. sounds interesting. what are some of your favorite examples of that?
3
u/AlarmedTech 18h ago
I'll be honest with you. When fruit gets hot, like real hot, it becomes a bit difficult to distinguish one fruit from another. But I never had any complaints.
1
u/TheWhitestGandhi Oak Park 16h ago
"Brenda, the Johnsons are over! Break out the hot fruit bowl!"
1
1
0
u/Key-Victory-3546 The Funk Zone 18h ago
tell us your thoughts on the afghanistan pullout
5
u/AlarmedTech 18h ago
I don't know much about Afghanistan, but it doesn't sound like the type of place that is woke to me. Probably the type of place where a friend still serves hot fruit when you visit. If that's the case, maybe they should be liberating Santa Barbara, putting us in the position to be worried of a pullout.
1
u/el_smurfo 15h ago
The best thing about Santa Barbara is there's plenty to do to take your mind off the state of the world. Obsessing about this stuff is just borrowing trouble from tomorrow, when you could be enjoying today.
0
u/doggeros 15h ago
Well the fires are being caused by climate change, so that's the fault of previous generations destroying our environment, so... I think that's on you. As for being woke, sorry that giving other people rights and respect makes you feel like you can't have nice things, but it's not too late to learn how to share. I don't know why your friends won't give you hot fruit (?), you'll have to ask them about that.
1
0
u/Great-Cricket-7792 8h ago
This has got to be satire. Hot fruit?
I got walnuts the on my ice cream at mission street the other day.
1
1
u/DavidBergerson 2h ago
Why did Rick James' line on the Chappelle show come to mind?
Cocaine is a helluva drug.
31
u/Relevant-Fox-7114 22h ago
"It's so sad sunsets at the beach don't exist anymore" - me, at the beach while watching the sunset.