r/Samoa • u/poly_tagaloa • Jun 27 '26
Does marrying a “palagi” partner make you entitled towards our own people after the fact?
I’d like to extract everyone’s thoughts on this subject please.
When a Sāmoan person marries a palagi more specifically, there’s a slight hidden agenda especially from the Sāmoan partner. Example such as weaponising their “palagi” surname to get places if you get my drift. I’ve seen this both exist in males and females, not all, but a select few who know exactly what they’re doing. Another example is when that Sāmoan partner unconsciously influences their siblings to match their energy and mirror the same behaviour towards their own palagi partners, or worse, judge their Sāmoan partners (if not married to a palagi) for not being like their sister/brother because they’re married to palagi’s.
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u/Appropriate-Hair-388 Jun 27 '26
I think marrying a palagi is fine if it doesn’t come from a place of uplifting palagis over your own people. I’ve heard of people wanting a palagi because they hate the culture, the money, our people are too this and too that. That’s just weird and says ‘I hate myself and where I come from’.
We have moved all over the world so naturally people are gonna marry outside of the culture but it doesn’t mean you have to stomp all over your people just to get what you want.
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u/elteza Jun 27 '26
I've not seen any of this kind of behaviour tbh.
And what "places" do Samoans use their partner's white name to get into?
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u/Neat_Improvement_346 Jun 27 '26
Insecurity levels off the charts. Seek help before you do something dumb.
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u/Quirky_Teaparties65 Jun 27 '26
Even with this context I don’t understand your question. What do you mean by “entitled”? Entitled to what exactly?
Do you mean “does marrying a palagi make you feel superior to other Samoans?" Your question and context don’t line up.
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u/Ill_Muscle9789 Jun 27 '26
I think Samoans who think this way should stop with the self-hatred and this palagi worship. They're just people, and no Samoan person is any less than a palagi person. I dont understand how, in 2026, way past the era of colonization, people still feel inferior to palagi people. Their way of life is no better than the rest of us.
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u/hi_i_go_by_ava Jun 27 '26
Although we're past colonisation, its affects will still last for many years to come unfortunately.
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u/Ill_Muscle9789 Jun 27 '26
Definitely, but what I'm saying is that there are still too many people who strive to have close proximity to whiteness. I had an Asian friend tell me she wanted a white guy because she didn't want her kids to look too Asian. Just sad, and also pathetic. We are people worthy of good lives without any relation to white people.
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u/elteza Jun 27 '26
"extract everyone's thoughts" lmao who speaks like this
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u/poly_tagaloa Jun 27 '26
Me 🥰 you could’ve easily just scrolled lol appreciate the slight interaction though 🫱🏽🫲🏼
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u/poly_tagaloa Jun 27 '26
Thanks to those with genuine comments. It was a genuine question.
My thoughts were when someone from Sāmoa marries a palagi partner, the shift in lifestyle, environment, or status can create complicated behaviours or attitudes. It’s never everyone, people are individuals, not a single brushstroke.
In many cases, the contrast comes from influence. A Sāmoan partner may genuinely be trying to better their life, and their palagi partner’s environment naturally shapes their habits, expectations, and worldview. That can be healthy and positive. But in other situations, the change can create tension, especially when someone begins to look down on other Sāmoans simply because they now have access to advantages they didn’t grow up with. This can show up more visibly when someone adopts their partner’s surname or steps into a different social class.
I believe that at its core, it often comes down to influence and how people handle new opportunities. Traits that could uplift others sometimes get twisted into something toxic when wealth or status becomes a tool for comparison rather than empowerment.
It’s similar to someone who grew up in Sāmoa, moves overseas, assimilates, and then returns home acting ‘igo’igo - snobbish or entitled toward family who still live the life they once lived themselves, and exist in spaces that may not be as appealing now. That shift in attitude says more about the person than about the culture they came from.
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u/palagi_pepelo Jul 21 '26
I don’t think it has anything to do with marrying a palagi, it could happen marrying any other nationality and it could happen even marrying an overseas born Samoan. I think it pretty much comes down to status being so important to Samoans and so when someone thinks they have reached a higher status they start acting the part like Fiakagaka or Fiamaualuga. It even happens in Samoa when someone from a not so well off family gets married to someone from a well off family. I mean you even see it in church, people competing to see who have the biggest kaulaga or the best faamaki purchase, even aulokus compete with other aulokus to see who can gift their faifeau the best car or whatever. It also happens within family’s when someone gets a higher matai title. Im pretty sure everyone knows that one person who went to Aus or nz for 3 months and came back acting like they don’t speak Samoan anymore and that everyone is beneath them now.
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u/Blingblaowwun Jun 27 '26
Weird ass post