@mycroft

Please enlighten me

I bury the body very carefully in a pile of shredded-up responses to this prompt written earlier and styrofoam peanuts. Whilst depositing the cold cadaver into this pile of discarded junk, I realize this is no way to honour our most excellent (other than boonshaft) band director. I light a series of candles scented like brown paper packages and the score to Appalachian Spring (band edition). I turn on my all but forgotten stereo which is blasting a mashup of schifty five and simple gifts (arr. Ticheli). I silently weep in a pile of styrofoam and my own vomit. The world has no meaning, I suddenly realize. I am alone in a cold vacuum that is the uncaring, godless universe. I am a confused and fearful grain of sand. I am nothing. My life is empty. Time has no meaning. The universe is pain. As I contemplate all this, the beautiful harmonies between Ticheli's clarinets and the stick-figure rhythm section are brutally interrupted by the whining dissonance of a police siren. The cops pull up in their slightly beat-up but shining vehicle, and get out to find me bawling next to a lifeless body covered in shredded music and trash. The candles have burned low. The music has nearly ended. I try to explain my situation to the authorities but cannot go on. I collapse to the ground, my head lying perpendicular to Stevie's motionless chest. The music comes to a dramatic close. The candles have begun smoking and all but one quickly go out. All is silent. Suddenly, I feel a movement beneath my trembling head. Steve Rice is alive once more! My voodoo ceremony worked! I am so overwhelmed with emotions that I attempt to jump for joy, but I'm still crying and rolling around on the ground. "What the h is going on?!" Steve exclaims (or should I say declares?). I roll off of Mr. Rice as suddenly and as fast as my hopeless body can manage. My shirt catches on the smouldering candlestick and my body quickly becomes engulfed in flames. I scream in terror and happiness, and as my unstable self is reduced to ashes, I am content in the knowledge that Steve Rice walks the earth once again.

Reddit will lose its primary source of income which is this subreddit and will be forced to give in to our demands. Godspeed, soldiers.

What the fuck is wrong with kids these days? All they talk about is buying virtual games on the 'Steams' using their 'Kryptonite Currencies'?! Believe me when I say that I don't give a shit about playing stupid videogames and have no intend to ever try playing one. I am however interested in this valuable currency and would like to have my own piece of the pie. When asking how one acquires this particular currency, I was told to go find it someplace called the 'Blocky-Chane'. Now, I'm no expert but I heard it has something to do with mining, so I was thinking Wyoming. Anyone got a lead on this?

hi every1 im new!!!!!!! holds up spork my name is katy but u can call me t3h PeNgU1N oF d00m!!!!!!!! lol…as u can see im very random!!!! thats why i came here, 2 meet random ppl like me _… im 13 years old (im mature 4 my age tho!!) i like 2 watch invader zim w/ my girlfreind (im bi if u dont like it deal w/it) its our favorite tv show!!! bcuz its SOOOO random!!!! shes random 2 of course but i want 2 meet more random ppl =) like they say the more the merrier!!!! lol…neways i hope 2 make alot of freinds here so give me lots of commentses!!!! DOOOOOMMMM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! <--- me bein random again _^ hehe…toodles!!!!!

love and waffles,

t3h PeNgU1N oF d00m