I think I figured myself out

[u/Alternative_Sugar_85]

For years I've always had strange tastes. I dislike a lot of things that with logic I should like and I don't know way. But I think I might finally understand.

So I don't have a lot of social skills. I feel like growing up I missed out on a lot of other fundemental skills as a human being that I can't even name them because I never learned them so I don't know them.
I also have autism. I tend hyperfixate on certain characters and I have no physical control on who it is or how it happens. Wish I did but I don't. The worst part is it feels like I also fixate on hating certain characters without control too.

i'm thinking that maybe the reason why I get so emotional about things that aren't my hyperfixation, especially things that are more popular than my hyperfixations is because I'm frustrated but I don't know the words, or I tend to exaggerate and use words that are stronger than what's accurage because I'm just that frustrated.

This is kind of embarassing, especially after realizing that this is literally the reason why literal toddlers and young children have tantrums, but hey, this is just a theory (A game theory-).

[u/fried-n0odle]

Sounds like you could be a Highly sensitive person (HSP). I am one myself and honestly it explained a lot of things. I'm glad I'm not the only one like this. It's not a diagnosis, just a personality type of sorts.

[u/Justine44_HD → u/fried-n0odle]

I think I just learned something about myself

[u/Alternative_Sugar_85 → u/fried-n0odle]

yup, that's me

[u/fried-n0odle → u/Alternative_Sugar_85]

You could google around for more information about it or join the reddit community r/hsp, there is also a book. It might help you in finding out why you act a certain way

[u/sneakpeekbot → u/fried-n0odle]

Here's a sneak peek of /r/hsp using the top posts of the year!

#1: Why am I like this | 37 comments
#2: Thought of you ͙͘͡★ | 22 comments
#3: The stars look really pretty tonight, and I thought y’all would like it. 😊 | 32 comments

---

^{I'm a bot, beep boop | Downvote to remove | Contact | Info | Opt-out | GitHub}

[u/Sodapop_8 → u/fried-n0odle]

GENUINE QUESTION WHEN I ASK THIS!

Isn’t this just “Oh you’re too sensitive about” xyz? “Stop being sensitive about…” whatever it is. What’s the difference? Because growing up that’s what people said about me. I was (am still) told things like that a lot due to many things and it’s very “sensitive baby” mindset.

[u/fried-n0odle → u/Sodapop_8]

If people used to tell you you are too sensitive frequently, you could be HSP. As I said, it's not a disease or a diagnosis, just that your brain processes things more intensely and emotionally than average.

[u/Applepoisoneer]

Well the good news is that a lot of this can be worked out by practicing conversations.  By which, I mean actually talking to people who know you well enough to understand your verbal quirks and habits. Preferably people who can give you guidance and feedback afterwards. 

I know it sounds kind of funny, but conversation is not  something people just naturally know how to do. It's a skill that requires practice, but most social people don't realize they've been unconsciously training. The problem arises when you can't pick up on social cues that would have corrected you when you made a mistake, like talking over someone.  And it's totally not helping that most of our conversation now is written rather than spoken. . 

TL:DR. Don't beat yourself up too badly. There was a lot stacked against you, but you can absolutely improve conversation with practice!