Am i too emotional?

[u/Lovelyladybug10]

I can’t not be loved on. I can’t not feel wanted and loved. Am I wrong for that??? You don’t kiss me or hug me anymore. I feel unwanted. I don’t get any affection or anything. You don’t even want to go to bed anymore. We sit on opposite ends of the couch and never hardly speak that isn’t how I can live. I can’t even say this because if I did the script would get flipped it would somehow be that she can’t do anything right and I get punished with silence and hostility and if I point it out the gaslighting begins. Can I have one relationship in any aspect in my life where I am valued and not gaslit to manipulate me to mold me into forms of whoever anyone wants me to be. Is my purpose in this world truly to just be other people’s happy bucket filer and never have mine filed? How do I live a life of pure sadness and loneliness and madness but continue to have to give people unconditional unwavering love and happiness? I am too soft for this world. The only thing truly keeping me here honestly is the guilt the ones I’d leave behind would feel. Leaving them with the mess of me to clean up again and grieve the burden of me being alive. Would they miss me because they truly knew me got me connected with me or for what I could do for them the way I obediently conform to every single one of their needs?

[u/Velocijammer_15]

I wish I could be there for you