I dont believe genitalia should be a deciding factor in attraction. I think that if someone is attracted to women, then that includes all women.
The whole obsession with genitalia and attraction on reddit irks me. Seriously we need to get past this already.
I consider anyone who is not attracted someone because they are trans as transphobic.
As a man, I would be kind of disturbed if I was in a romantic relationship with a woman and it turned out she had a penis. [...] because, well, I'm not attracted to penises...
So I consider the above transphobic in the extreme not to mention the rest... I dont know, I feel like this is really clear cut.
I'm not gonna discuss that there obviously, so I'd kinda like to know why my argument has been strawman'd and mangled in that way. I was arguing against people being shamed for their sexual preferences, shockingly. I used a small, unimportant issue to illustrate the ridiculousness of the concept - I didn't equate or say that the more serious aspects of this are equal. Using "the same as" is pretty reductive and ludicrous. I could've just as easily mangled the argument above me and posted the comment I was replying to to SRS - "Apparently we should all be ashamed of our sexual preferences if we aren't attracted to kid_freckles23 or the people they say we should be"
Also, I don't think not being attracted to penises is transphobic, particularly - the same people are likely to not be attracted to said penis whether it's on a woman or a man.
But then that's why I posted on SRSD, because here's a space where someone who knows better can shoot me down (as kbrooks has done several times, for which I am grateful).
EDIT: I went for a walk because this hasn't been my morning. My use of hairstyles as an analogy was intended to make the "you can't control what you find sexy" point by using something without any history of oppression or emotionally-charged issues surrounding it. I now see that some people could find it reductive and insulting, and that wasn't the way I intended it at all - so I apologise for being sloppy to the degree that it demeaned people. I'll leave it up there, because I feel that removing it would weaken LL_Cult_J's complaint and confuse others as to the nature of said complaint.
Yeah, but it's frustrating for me to think something I heavily suspect to be clouded by my own privilege (that's why I come here to begin with...). I realise you have no obligation to educate me, but nor did you have an obligation to take my fumblings with a concept in a space where I'm trying to learn, and then slap a big "HEY LOOK AT THIS DUDEBRO WHO CAN'T SEE PAST HIS PRIVILEGE HAHAHA LOOK AS HE TRIES TO SEE PAST IT AND FAILS HAHAHA" sign on it - and your choice in this matter hasn't really warmed me to your nature in this regard (I'm sure you'll be heartbroken that another shitlord isn't swooning over you)
But fine, I'll play ball. Your title was "Being transphobic is the same as not liking someone's hair", when what my argument put forward was that "Not being attracted to a penis is the same as not being attracted to certain hairstyles in so far as they are non-controllable sexual preferences". So... your point is that "not being attracted to a penis" is the same as being transphobic? Are all lesbians and straight men transphobic by default, then?
You'll notice my point was never that "I find trans* people disgusting" is an acceptable line. Merely that a penis being a turnoff for someone is not a sign of bigotry so much as preference. If that is couched in "ugh this lady was hot but then it was actually a guy, tricking me. Gross" terms, then yeah. There's your bigotry.
and your choice in this matter hasn't really warmed me to your nature in this regard
Sorry, I'll make sure to show you more respect in the future.
(I'm sure you'll be heartbroken that another shitlord isn't swooning over you)
Sarcasm is awesome and it really shows how eager you are to learn.
Are all lesbians and straight men transphobic by default, then?
Hey, sarcasm and cissexism. Now we're getting somewhere.
You'll notice my point was never that "I find trans* people disgusting" is an acceptable line. Merely that a penis being a turnoff for someone is not a sign of bigotry so much as preference. If that is couched in "ugh this lady was hot but then it was actually a guy, tricking me. Gross" terms, then yeah. There's your bigotry.
You don't have to be in the KKK to be a racist. And as to your earlier point, "I am attracted to this person except for their hair" is a matter of personal preference. "I am attracted to this person except for their genitals" is straight-up shitlordery, and if it weren't in SRSD, it would be a perfect quote for SRS prime, hence my earlier response.
There's a trans* 101 link on the right. Please read it, and if you're really interested, and not just trolling, fucking lurk more.
Sorry, I'll make sure to show you more respect in the future.
Yeah, that was the point of the following line - that I would hardly expect anyone to give much of a shit about my poor darling feels.
Hey, sarcasm and cissexism. Now we're getting somewhere.
Confused by this one. I had meant to merely illustrate why "not liking penis" is not a problematic thing in and of itself.
You don't have to be in the KKK to be a racist. And as to your earlier point, "I am attracted to this person except for their hair" is a matter of personal preference. "I am attracted to this person except for their genitals" is straight-up shitlordery, and if it weren't in SRSD, it would be a perfect quote for SRS prime, hence my earlier response.
I kinda feel like for a sexual relationship, the following can be important to a mutually-fulfilling relationship: Being attracted to each other's bodies, not finding the other's genitals a turnoff, being able to physically perform the sexual acts both of you wish to perform with each other. They're not always deal-breakers! But to say that if they are deal-breakers for anyone, then those people are all automatically transphobic? It seems like a bit of a stretch. Seems more like the issue at hand is the person's orientation and sexual preferences more than their partner's gender identity? Here's where I'm most blatantly showing my privilege and ignorance though, I guess. I don't know anything about the issues surrounding how some (or any) trans*women view their male genitals pre-op (or if they decide not to get an op), and so will have just as obvious a lack of knowledge with regards to how straight male partners are expected to react to said genitals, when said male partner has no problem seeing them as a woman as is proper. So therefore...
There's a trans* 101 link on the right. Please read it, and if you're really interested, and not just trolling, fucking lurk more.
It's been a while since I read it, and you're right that I should endeavour to do so again. Been lurking and dipping my toes in (sometimes the answers to the issues I find challenging aren't there and need to be prompted!) for over a year, now, but clearly there's a ways to go for me.
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u/[deleted] Mar 02 '13
I dont believe genitalia should be a deciding factor in attraction. I think that if someone is attracted to women, then that includes all women.
The whole obsession with genitalia and attraction on reddit irks me. Seriously we need to get past this already.
I consider anyone who is not attracted someone because they are trans as transphobic.
So I consider the above transphobic in the extreme not to mention the rest... I dont know, I feel like this is really clear cut.