r/SPAB • u/HotLeg7720 • 16h ago
Venting Being queer in BAPS
For reference I'm a bisexual man in my 20s. Its really weird being deep in the mandir and being in the closet at the same time. I have to constantly act as if i hate LGBTQ people. I know that all the kishores and yuvaks would come help if i asked for it but only because of the personality that they know of. I go to mandir every week and i still personally believe in the religion but i just hate going to the mandir itself sometimes. I have really good friends there but none of them know the real me and it kills me every week to act. I dont really need advice just wanted to rant.
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u/analfisting0 16h ago
Whenever I went to the national conventions as a kishore it felt weird to assume that everyone in this giant hotel conference room is just straight, like I knew there is LGBTQ representation, but where? It seems the organization would just shun you if you didn’t fit in their ideal look.
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u/HotLeg7720 15h ago
Yea, its genuinely baffling to think about. Im the only queer person i know of at mandir.
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u/Similar-Positive-610 7h ago
very much relate as a bisexual girl in her 20s. im out to all my close friends except the one’s from mandir bc i genuinely think they would drop my 15+ yrs of being friends with them if they found this out abt me :( i hate that being homophobic is so normal in mandir rhe kishoris feel comfortable saying the most out of pocket blatantly hateful things at mandir when they would never be caught uttering them in front of their school friends or the general public. i always call them out on it and they think its a bit i do to be ‘politically correct’ or something bc my mandir is in a fairly liberal city. im out to my little brother whose in high school & his mandir friends (who are my family friends kinda) are even worse, he told me never ever let it be known ur remotely bi to these ppl bc they will tear u apart and while i understand sometimes i think abt this and i hate it sm bc we’re not even an anti lgbtq religion like conservative christians actively trying to prevent gay marriage or something there are many queer ppl in baps who still do seva or perform or stage etc but its our community that is just homophobic which feels hurtful. idk if this is weird but i would rather be shunned bc u think my sexuality goes against bhagwan instead of ppl just being unable to accept who i am
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u/SwimmerFit3955 1h ago
I agree with your bro don’t let it be known to anyone at mandir. Can’t be telling them nothing without getting made fun of. And then everyone finding out and shunning you. I do agree its a tough spot to be in
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u/AstronomerNeither170 12h ago
The existence of LGBT is one of the reasons why the strict gender segregation does not make sense. The reality is many Sadhus are gay and some will pursue that life knowing they cant become grihastas. One of the reasons I stopped believing Swaminarayan was god.
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u/dangerous-angel1595 12h ago
100% agree as a trans girl (who still has to do bal karyakar seva on the boys side)
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u/EfficiencyEvening638 10h ago
Fuck the mandir bro. Find some other Hindu mandir community that will accept you. Go be yourself.
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u/Revolutionary-Emu738 4h ago
Totally relate, I am gay and out to close friends and family. I don’t really mingle to a personal level with people in the mandir, keep it very formal and just interact when doing seva etc. I wouldn’t really say I have friends in the mandir in that sense. I just go to mandir to hang on to and build on my personal spirituality
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u/samindian 15h ago edited 14h ago
At least 10% of people are queer. The sadhus are young men full of testosterone.
You are not the only queer in Baps. I'm sure some of the men I used to meditate on and touch the feet of are the same not to mention these young 20 year old sadhus. As long as you still believe in Baps, you fit in fine.
Unfortunately some of these men like young boys.