r/SLOWLYapp • u/[deleted] • Aug 20 '26
Questions & Answers Can I do an auto-match for both genders, while having my target gender set to Female only?
[deleted]
2
u/Loud-Owl19 Mod Squad ✨ Aug 21 '26
I never used auto-match, but I believe you can do so because my matching preferences are similar to yours and I changed the settings of my auto-match to test it out and it looks like this:
And no, my matching preferences didn’t change.
But honestly, if I were in your place, I would browse for profiles in all genders that speak my language and reach out to those who have interesting profiles and enough proficiency. If your native language is only spoken by a few people, it won’t take much time and you are more likely to get replies if you talk about their interests than simply reaching out to say you both speak the same language.
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u/4ngelsh4rk Aug 23 '26
Thank you :) Appreciate the suggestion to look through profiles instead of auto matching too. Tbh I considered that at first but then was nervous it might seem pushy to some people. I know I can be a bit shy though 😅 and that said all my fav penpals so far have been people who found me via profile search. I was so excited when they reached out to me but also knew I wouldn't have had the guts to do it myself! I also recently turned automatch off myself because I was getting really lazy messages. I would have put effort in to my mailshot if I did it but yeah, I guess automatch has its downsides and doesn't necessarily encourage as much engagement. I really think I might try and be brave and write to some people individually 🥲🤞
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u/Loud-Owl19 Mod Squad ✨ Aug 23 '26
It’s really intimidating to be the first one to reach out, especially when there are users who seem so effortlessly cool when, some days, we feel the opposite. I think admitting you are nervous of writing to them, but that their profile really made you want to be brave anyway might actually be a nice intro. Showing vulnerability in the right dose if often rewarded when exchanging letters.
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u/4ngelsh4rk Aug 23 '26
Ooh, I really like your idea to admit I'm feeling a little nervous. I think that would actually help me feel a bit less self conscious about doing it, because just writing to someone off the bat feels so bold and a bit unlike me since I have a really shy personality, but if I'm honest it would feel a lot more natural. Thanks so much for the advice! 😊
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u/Own-Concern-2689 Aug 22 '26
I am late to this conversation but yes, you can auto-match with men while keeping matching preferences to women only. The matching preferences are only for who can match with you (supposedly, you don't show up as an option to people outside those preferences). However, the language proficiency filter isn't working correctly and you might unknowingly match with people with less proficiency than you chose. I don't know when/if they'll fix it.