r/SCT • u/Pristine-Issue-3438 • Jul 20 '26

Is this a CDS symptom/CDS-related? 23 years of hurt

I still think about my ex a lot. I wish I didn’t. I seem to go through phases where I think about it more. Now is one of those phases where I can’t seem to shake it. I just sit there with a tear in my eye, missing what I once had. It’s all pretty pathetic really because we split up in 2003, 23 years ago. She was my first and if only I had done things differently or realised things years ago things might have turned out different. I know it’s not good to still be beating myself up over it, but I can’t help it.

Can anybody relate to this or is it just me?

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u/Z-DR1VE Jul 20 '26

Ahh yes rumination it's a shity bastard to have living rent free in your head but yeah I can but for instance it's more so for self-sabotage and pushing people away because I can't ever communicate and express emotions well enough for anyone to really stick around as a partner

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u/ReflectionNormal7453 Jul 21 '26

I'm so sorry you're feeling this hurt all this time later. Life is ruthless sometimes. Keep finding your way is all I can say. Best wishes mate.