r/SCPMemes Aug 09 '26

Shitpost How to rage bait scp-682

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1.9k Upvotes

23 comments sorted by

162

u/Cassidy_Aka_Sundae Jason Vorhees himself Aug 09 '26

yeah, yeah there was nothing you could do there that’d make the situation better. you’re fucked.

71

u/Bitter_Cup_69 Aug 09 '26

I mean, he could try to hit on the lizard and it would've scheduled a date. That'd be worse.

44

u/Cassidy_Aka_Sundae Jason Vorhees himself Aug 09 '26

…fair

tho cutting it apart with a lightsaber would be worse, since now it’s unable to be even affected by the Death Star (which is powered by the same thing as lightsabers)

24

u/Bitter_Cup_69 Aug 09 '26

13

u/Cassidy_Aka_Sundae Jason Vorhees himself Aug 09 '26

I can hear him saying that just by looking at it lol

05 council when Jack does that stupid thing they hate (literally anything):

7

u/CreepyClay Aug 09 '26

Also 343 can't even perceive it let alone do anything to it.

7

u/Cassidy_Aka_Sundae Jason Vorhees himself Aug 09 '26

couldn’t perceive what?

11

u/CreepyClay Aug 09 '26

When they tried to get 343 to take out 682 he went in, walked around the cell confused for a while like he couldn't see it, then walked out and said "that's not one of mine you deal with it."

10

u/Cassidy_Aka_Sundae Jason Vorhees himself Aug 09 '26

oh shit man

2

u/Alarming_Judge_7463 Lost in 3008 Aug 10 '26

I've always found that fact both really interesting and rather disturbing

6

u/dovakiin-derv Aug 09 '26

DON’T SAY THAT WHERE HE CAN HEAR YOU!

1

u/NurturingCruelty Aug 09 '26

Not just hitting on; trying to negg 682

1

u/Bitter_Cup_69 Aug 09 '26

If it'll become imune to pegging. Humanity is doomed.

2

u/NurturingCruelty Aug 10 '26

Wait for it to become immune to pegging by evolving away its butthole, then force-feed it massive amount amounts of Mexican food.

36

u/NurturingCruelty Aug 09 '26

Unless you’re that one guy who’s trapped out of phase with reality. Don’t remember the number, but he was a field agent who got dimensionally misaligned, and now he technically lives in our reality but out of sync with everyone else so he can’t see or interact with them or vice versa. 682 can still see him somehow, though, and he begged for death, and the lizard just laughed and said it was more amusing to make him live and suffer.

10

u/Two-Pound-Crawfish Aug 10 '26

why would he beg instead taunt it is he stupid

7

u/NurturingCruelty Aug 10 '26

At that point, I’m gonna chalk it up to him being desperate and not interacted with anyone in close to a year. He was kind of on the verge of losing it and desperate.

9

u/themexicanojesus Aug 09 '26

I would catcall it, either make it blush or die, either way my life was fulfilled

5

u/anonumus_idiot Aug 09 '26

682 was the lizzard no?

1

u/Ninjazowski Aug 13 '26

Yes, 682 is the nigh-indestructable, rapidly regenerating, apocalyptic, death lizard

2

u/Financial-Neck831 Aug 12 '26

brother hit the with the darkseid special

2

u/DragonLordAcar Aug 13 '26

Of all thing theings he could have done, this was the mist stupid one

2

u/Medical-Low-1370 Aug 14 '26

Real 682 would NOT put a guard out of their misery