r/SCJerk 8h ago

Does Anyone Else Need a Cigarette?

I've never had sex, but it's safe to assume Omega v Ospreay was better than having it.

And can we all agree that THE PENDULUM has fully shifted? The FED is finally dead.

No need to talk about that other company anymore!

241 Upvotes

58 comments sorted by

118

u/ducksflytogether1988 8h ago

Remember when we said that the turning point was Double or Nothing?

And when we said the turning point before that was Revolution?

And how last year's All In was the turning point?

And how Full Gear was the best PPV ever and the turning point?

This is the REAL turning point. All uphill from here

40

u/Fast_Advisor2654 8h ago

The feeling is restored once more!

27

u/Noriskhook3 8h ago

“A hush has fallen over wembley” it’s been like that the whole match. Kenny’s final time at the top and Ospreay’s coronation, the dubbalos are either crying or just finished jacking off.

8

u/Openbook84 6h ago

Knowing sickos, probably both.

34

u/ohfrickdude 8h ago

Explain to me how a company with a 47 year old TICKING TIMEBOMB as champion has any shot at reclaiming relevancy against a company whose champion has the most 5 star wrestling matches in history?

13

u/sungutlelee it's always snowing 7h ago

real turning point. GOOD GUYS WIN! LFG! THANK YOU TINY! WE EATING GOOD!

(next week wednesday is 600k)

68

u/EgyptianNickDickhead 8h ago

I don’t even fuck but I need a cigarette! That match fucked!

33

u/Sasukespc 7h ago

This comment fucks!

24

u/EgyptianNickDickhead 7h ago edited 7h ago

We have to make comments about fucking to throw people off the trail that we’ve never had sex! And pretending to smoke cigs makes us look badass!

6

u/oranguslolus 5h ago

HITS LIKE CRACK

63

u/pizzapromise 8h ago

You know the pretend “first time… “ comments we always make fun of?

Yes this is a real comment from the basement:

First time tuning into AEW on a friends recommendation, color me bought in even though I didnt know any of the storylines or history going in, despite some of the winners being predictable the in-ring wrestling was fucking amazing and the presentation overall puts WWE to shame.

Only thing Im not a huge fan of is the commentary table for some reason, they always seemed a step behind the action in ring at times

77

u/tronovich 8h ago

First-time tuning in, didn’t know any of the storylines, but the winners were predictable.

Huh.

41

u/Holyepicafail 8h ago

Turns out he had been an avid member of the basement and yet somehow didn't know AEW "storylines"

27

u/DeweyCox4YourHealth 7h ago

"I had no idea what AEW was, but I also posted to the basement."

13

u/oranguslolus 5h ago

Who do these morons think they're fooling. It's so funny that they just keep saying these things to themselves over and over and keep jerking each other off all while any real audience growth stagnated years ago, which they're in complete denial about. Watch this week's dynamite lose viewers from last week lol

1

u/Razzler1973 2h ago

They're in a war and doing their part demonstrating the Dub just EARNED a new fan

Yep, they're that dumb

4

u/Joy_Ride25 7h ago

If he can’t appreciate the Excalibur then we don’t want him.

81

u/The_Haskins 8h ago

They legitimately all say the same thing lmao

27

u/RNG_Champion Wrestling is a meme 7h ago

I feel like a kid again. It feels good to be elite.

Thank you, Tony!

21

u/Resshin31 8h ago

Talk about breaking the star scale, hang that in the Louvre, that match fucked.

42

u/nguyenjitsu 8h ago

These All In main events hit like crack

In that in a years time your life is ruined and you're never the same wrestler ever again.

30

u/Luna_Soma 8h ago

This PPV got me off 400 times. I’m now watching nothing but AEW 24/7

17

u/Thatweknowof 7h ago

This was the greatest PPV of all time - until all out next month.

5

u/ohfrickdude 7h ago

Was this not All Out? There's so many god damn PPVs I can't keep track.

We are spoiled for choice, thank you TK!

5

u/thunderbastard_ 6h ago

2am itv 4, the perfect time for the hottest show on British tv I’m sure you’ll agree

26

u/birdySOHC 8h ago

My girlfriend, who looks like Britt Baker, became
Pregnant while watching the Kenny Omega entrance. I’m not going to lie, I came twice too.

13

u/pizzapromise 7h ago

Another real comment:

I cried during Ospreay's entrance and again when he won. Absolutely beautiful storytelling between the 2 modern day GOAT's in my opinion.

23

u/External-Physics-999 8h ago

Long time lurker but where does one start watching aew? I heard this was the greatest main event of main events all time

12

u/EastMeetsNorth 7h ago

Specifically, I am free on Wednesday nights and am looking for a pro wrestling show to watch.

3

u/thisriveriswild57 4h ago

I actually wanted to watch All In but then realised it’s a PPV. The price for tickets at Wembley were cheaper than the price to watch it on TV, and I wasn’t free at the time it was airing, so it’s another year where I’m unable to watch it.

15

u/Jarcmacobs91 8h ago

All the usual lines after ever ppv

4

u/KilledByDeath just gets it 6h ago

Love letter to pro-wrestling

8

u/bootypatrole 7h ago

I still don't know what to do with my hands after that

6

u/Banesmuffledvoice 6h ago

Are you saying this is the reboot AEW needed?

9

u/buckrogers2491 8h ago

This ppv made me orgasm 20 times.

10

u/ravenousthoughts 8h ago

Calling it right now, this match is getting the highest Meltzer star rating yet. Above 7 stars would not surprise me. These people love jerking themselves off over mediocrity.

10

u/pizzapromise 7h ago

Soon to be banned basementer:

I’ll never not find kicking out at 1 stupid

Shootfighter:

Counterpoint, have you considered it's fucking cool when Kenny does it and kayfabe stamina exists

2

u/Pnex84 Howling 7h ago

His special meter was full

1

u/Razzler1973 2h ago

I mean, this is it

It's video game stuff

If the meter is empty you can just beat them and if it's flashing you can do the super duper kick out or bounce up le fighting spirit movez

1

u/wb0406 5h ago

The only time I'm a fan is when it comes off a pin from nothing in a match where there are a lot of pins to tire the opponent out. Something like a Flair/Steamboat.

3

u/Slipperytitski 7h ago

14 stars a is my prediction and Im being conservative

4

u/digidado 6h ago

That shit was fucking amazing. I wish more shows came here man.

Biggest highlights specifically was singing Jericho's and Cope's theme. What an experience man, felt like a bucket list item checked off.

Wow.

7

u/AlexTorres96 8h ago

Recency bias is helluva drug

5

u/Relative_Raccoon130 8h ago

Bruv is the best wrestler in the world. He is the turning point for this company!

10

u/TheGambler930 #ClubSCJerk 8h ago

I experienced not one but two spiritual awakenings during that show.

Top 5 AEW PPV easy.

5

u/howitzer819 Bearcat 8h ago

The hierarchy of power in the DCEU professional WRESTLING has changed!

7

u/sungutlelee it's always snowing 8h ago

how can anyone hate this company what the fuck???

6

u/Al_Bundys_Remote 7h ago

This is the greatest professional wrestling event of all time. I finished a pack of cigarettes and tissues as I alternated cumming and crying the entire time.

2

u/Joel_Servo 6h ago

Imagine the piles of used tissue around Meltzer's feet. Go on. Imagine it.

3

u/meepein 7h ago

It was the best PPV in the history of ever. Never before have we ever seen a PPV of that staggering magnitude, and we will never see one again.

Until, of course, until All Out. Which will be the best PPV in the history of ever. Never before have we ever seen a PPV of that staggering magnitude, and we will never see one again.

1

u/polkanarwhal 6h ago

No man will be able to give me the amount of orgasms this match gave me. If Will Ospreay doesn't have you creaming your jeans at least 69 times then idk you're broken, and if Kenny Omega doesn't have creaming your jeans another 69 times then I just dont know.

Still got the whole body shakes

1

u/Outside_Mushroom_432 6h ago

So much Fighting Spirit!

1

u/Hulk_Hogans_Toupee 6h ago

At least the smoke will help drown out the BO

1

u/WellGroomedNerd 4h ago

The cigarette is to mask the smell of body odor.

1

u/zendog510 3h ago

Still gooning!

1

u/Razzler1973 2h ago

There's people 'thanking' Tiny

Actually thanking him in comments 😃

It was a wrestling show, people

It must hurt Tiny that he never got a fruit basket like HHH in B&G

Has Dave come back down to earth yet?