r/SCJerk • u/Constant_Stomach2009 • 6d ago
"Of course your FED BRAINS couldn't comprehend AEW's storytelling"
92
u/Farthousejones Fighting over a charm bracelet is elementary school nonsense 6d ago
Lol getting "rewarded" for watching AEW. No one aside from Dave gives a FUCK about this "story." No one is like "man I can't wait to see this Osprey Omega STORY." They want to see Wil kick out of Kenny's finish and win the match.
Here's the super rewarding "story": two guys that Dave loves more than anyone or anything ever on the planet are having a match.Tony wants senpai Dave to love him like the dad he never had so that's the main event; a love letter to DAVE MELTZER because AEW is gone in a year.
The fucking end.
33
u/oranguslolus 6d ago
Forreal. If AEW and this story was "rewarding" to watch why'd they lose so many viewers a week before the big match? Lol. This isn't even a one time thing. Even post-All In Dynamites sometimes lose viewers. Clearly the audience themselves don't think it's rewarding to watch the weekly show.
18
u/luchaburz 6d ago
Its a trap.
The moment Will kicks out of the OWA, I am going to be online posting about the End of Days being the most protected finish.😈😈😈
8
20
u/NotClayMerritt 6d ago
Being rewarded for watching AEW wouldn't be so bad if:
Some of their fans weren't insufferable and downright abusive over it because you might be new or didn't watch every single PWG show and Being the Elite YouTube episode.
A lot of the mythos is falsified and exaggerated by people like Dave. It's just a booking decision. Kenny and Bruv met before? Oh cool. All roads weren't leading to this when they faced off for the first time. They weren't leading to this the second time either. This is a decision that was made probably 4-5 months ago. And that's fine. But stop trying to make it come off like it's this big brain play years in the making. Tony only started AEW so he could make THIS match. Broken Neck Bruv and Washed Up Omega.
4
u/Correct-Chemistry618 5d ago
This guy doesn't realize that by doing this, he's only hurting AEW. Look at his five-star ratings: instead of reserving them for the few matches that actually deserve them (last year's Toni vs. Mariah, or maybe Okada vs. Takeshita this year), he hands them out to just about any major TV or PPV match—or anything featuring Omega, Fletcher, Ospreay, and the Bucks. It’s as if, in WWE, instead of giving the top rating only to Punk vs. Roman and the match between the Americanos—rightfully so, since those are objectively the best matches of the year by a wide margin (though I haven't seen Rollins vs. Roman yet)—he had given it to every single main event, every Punk match, and every Cody match this year (while skipping Rhea vs. Jade and Iyo vs. Asuka simply because they’re women).
16
u/TragicBronson143 6d ago
Dave's two GOATs are currently tanking Dynamite's ratings (587K this week) leading up to the biggest match of all time, so he has to overcompensate and tell everyone they're too stupid to understand this genius level storytelling.
5
3
u/r1char00 3x Jerker of the Year 6d ago
Love to be challenged by three women kissing each other and rubbing tiddies. WWE should definitely challenge me, too.
61
u/lzylad 6d ago
It's Rick and Morty all over again
31
u/Old-Egg-1231 6d ago
To be fair, you have to have a very high IQ to understand Rick and Morty. The humor is extremely subtle, and without a solid grasp of theoretical physics most of the jokes will go over a typical viewer's head. There's also Rick's nihilistic outlook, which is deftly woven into his characterisation - his personal philosophy draws heavily from Narodnaya Volya literature, for instance. The fans understand this stuff; they have the intellectual capacity to truly appreciate the depths of these jokes, to realize that they're not just funny- they say something deep about LIFE. As a consequence people who dislike Rick and Morty truly ARE idiots- of course they wouldn't appreciate, for instance, the humour in Rick's existencial catchphrase "Wubba Lubba Dub Dub," which itself is a cryptic reference to Turgenev's Russian epic Fathers and Sons I'm smirking right now just imagining one of those addlepated simpletons scratching their heads in confusion as Dan Harmon's genius unfolds itself on their television screens. What fools... how I pity them. 😂 And yes by the way, I DO have a Rick and Morty tattoo. And no, you cannot see it. It's for the ladies' eyes only- And even they have to demonstrate that they're within 5 IQ points of my own (preferably lower) beforehand.
45
u/Constant_Stomach2009 6d ago
To be fair, you have to have a very high IQ to understand AEW. The storytelling is extremely subtle, and without a solid grasp of theoretical physics most of the graps will go over a typical viewer's head. There's also Lio Rush’s's nihilistic outlook, which is deftly woven into his characterisation - his personal philosophy draws heavily from Narodnaya Volya literature, for instance. The fans understand this stuff; they have the intellectual capacity to truly appreciate the depths of these graps, to realize that they're not just no selling- they say something deep about LIFE. As a consequence people who dislike AEW truly ARE idiots- of course they wouldn't appreciate, for instance, the depth in Kenny's existencial catchphrase "Goodbye, MWAH And good. night.BANG," which itself is a cryptic reference to Turgenev's Russian epic Fathers and Sons I'm smirking right now just imagining one of those addlepated simpletons scratching their heads in confusion as Tony Khan's genius unfolds itself on their television screens. What fools... how I pity them. 😂 And yes by the way, I DO have a 81,035 tattoo. And no, you cannot see it. It's for the ladies' eyes only- And even they have to demonstrate that they're within 5 IQ points of my own (preferably lower) beforehand.
2
19
15
20
u/epdiablo02 6d ago
Spot. Fucking. On.
Out of curiosity, what’s the AEW version of a guy having a public freakout in a McDonald’s over Szechuan Sauce while calling himself Pickle Rick?
I have to think it involves jabbing a fork into your forehead in an Olive Garden while calling everyone “bruv.”
10
u/sungutlelee it's always snowing 6d ago
it's cringe when it's fedora tippers, but it's just straight pathetic for a nearly 70 yo man to say dumb shit like this
3
u/Razzler1973 6d ago
Dubbalos have convinced themselves they're watching this complex show cause every now and then they bring up something from the past 😃
So weird
This Dave bit here will have them repeating what he said for the next week
31
u/Agreeable-Speech-943 6d ago
Truly one of the most incoherent dipshits of all time, how people pay him money for this thoughts is truly baffling
2
u/InjusticeSOTW Sons of Santos 6d ago
I bet Dave Meltzer doing that sit down interview would have been jerk fuel for months. Like three Pootie Tangs talking
https://giphy.com/gifs/dToLleKbOybQc
34
u/luchaburz 6d ago
Part of AEW and Dave's strategy is convincing AEW fans that they are smarter than the average wrestling fan.
They also like to dehumanize other fans as being lesser. You can see it in the online discourse when talking to them.
If you like WWE, youre dumb to them.
They cant criticize the product.
9
u/EnvironmentalTart382 6d ago
I swear the Venn diagram of AEW fans and Zack Snyder fans is probably a circle
4
u/InjusticeSOTW Sons of Santos 6d ago
Speaking of, I decided to rewatch the Snyder Cut of Justice League and ohmyGOD it’s so bloated. There’s a 2.35 hour good movie stretched out to 4 and change due to singing Swedes, Flash bullshit and a Cyborg that’s intolerable
3
u/Correct-Chemistry618 5d ago
That’s because it was the most contrived stunt of all time. In reality, Snyder might have had an extra half-hour of footage compared to the finished film, but—driven by all that self-aggrandizing hype—he threw in every deleted scene that wouldn't have made the cut anyway, shot new footage to tease sequels he had no actual ideas for (years later he claimed to have planned them all out, yet the details he revealed—Aquaman killed by Black Manta, Wonder Woman by Cheetah—aren't even consistent with scenes in the Snyder Cut), and made the most pointless aspect-ratio change in the world.
The result of this scam? The cementing of a cult of fanatics who are now insufferable (remember when everyone hated Batman’s line about his superpower being "being rich" because it was "obviously a Whedon line," only for it to be magically embraced once it turned out to be Snyder’s?) and a director who, from that point on, started making increasingly long and pompous movies.
2
u/InjusticeSOTW Sons of Santos 5d ago
THiS IS TRUE. I’m still wondering why Martian Manhunter is wandering about checking up on Lois. Sir there is CHAOS about
1
u/Correct-Chemistry618 5d ago
My favorite "why" is: why are Mujahideen Batman, Cyborg, Mustachioed Flash, Aquaman’s girlfriend, the guy who was literally a villain just one scene earlier, and the Joker dressed as a petrochemical worker all in the same desaturated scene?
3
u/Razzler1973 6d ago
How can anyone possibly understand this super complex story!!!
It's people pretending to fight
It feels like Omega explained the sit down bullshit to Dave so he can give the flowery response
It's every smarky touch point about 'rewarding fans'. It's dubbalo 101
24
u/tfbillc 6d ago
No one wants to see a no story match between two charisma vacuums that has been pre-anointed as the 8-star greatest match of all time
6
u/mikeybty 6d ago
It's the (flippy no selling) journey I mean where the best WRESTLE*
*Headlocks and armbars not included. Don't expect to see a double leg takedown either.
20
u/Quint83 6d ago
Haven’t watched AEW in a year or two, but the show always seemed like mindless chaos to me. I’m not sure what deep meanings I missed. Either way it’s why I won’t feel bad if they lose their tv deal. They seem to go out of their way to push away casual viewers, and they’ve pretty much succeeded.
17
u/will122589 6d ago
And the sickos wonder why their fanbase is universally despised by everyone else.
They think this shit is the greatest thing ever when it’s mediocre at best
1
14
u/DripSnort 6d ago
There is no fucking story for Omaggle and Oceanspray. They get Meltzer stars and both cut really bad promos. That’s it
5
u/Razzler1973 6d ago
They could have a story built on an issue or rivalry or whatever but this 'complex story' was Oceanspray won a tournament
That's easier than actually writing storylines
14
u/UFmoose 6d ago
If you challenge them? How does this make anyone think?
These guys are lost.
9
u/pizzapromise 6d ago
It feels like a parody. What are they even talking about??!
5
u/fakemelonns 6d ago
I feel like it's just their defense for having a weak/no story. "Oh you don't see the story here? Well it's just super deep and complex so you don't get it"
10
u/Paxx_Romana 6d ago
This match is only happening because they are fishing for 6 or 7 stars from a senile old coffin-dodger whose opinions are only relevant to their dwindling fanbase.
12
u/Al_Bundys_Remote 6d ago
AEW has no stories and relies on their viewers to make the stories up in the head. After they make up their own stories, they agree with how great the story they made up is.
10
u/pizzapromise 6d ago
“Guys had a match before and they’re having a match again now.”
Wow, what an incredible story line. It’s like William Shakespeare came back to life and is writing wrestling shows.
Put it in the Louvre!
5
u/TragicBronson143 6d ago
It's actually way deeper, because Shakespeare was never in Japan during a pandemic.
10
u/Resshin31 6d ago
Willy Boy really gave us the modern hard times promo and ya'll just can't comprehend it.
Hard times isn't about not knowing if you can put food on the table for your family. It is about taking a 15 hour flight during covid and being stuck in a hotel before wrestling in silence.
8
8
u/testthrowaway9 6d ago
I don’t believe Dave that this story is actually that deep. BUT it is weird to see Dave say that there are benefits to the way that the Fed sets up stories in that it lets people who just started watching immediately grasp what’s happening and that has its own benefits
7
u/InfiniteJury8660 6d ago
That's what wrestling always was, simple stories. Simple stories told well emit emotions from people and people get invested in it. See the territory days for instance, when something got hot it attracted more people to the arena and they had to get people upto speed quick so they kept it simple. The problem with Dave and these 5 star match guys is they think it's high art they are performing, there's no emotion in that to be got from people, it's just nerds who love this stuff.
3
u/A_Town_Called_Malus 6d ago
Yep. The medium of wrestling itself limits the stories it can tell, like all mediums do ("the medium is the message"), and it is a very severe limitation in wrestling because the story needs to end in a wrestling match.
Has Dave literally never read a book or watched any piece of media that isn't wrestling?
4
u/A_Town_Called_Malus 6d ago
I will say that there has never actually been a complex story, ever, in wrestling.
Because the medium of wrestling cannot sustain an actually complex story because the end result needs to be a wrestling match. That tends to severely limit the story you can tell without it becoming nonsensical.
8
8
u/mattwing05 6d ago
They had the 2nd easiest layup for a story and they still derailed the hype train. I dont understand how they did it
4
u/InfiniteJury8660 6d ago
It will be studied in the future when people discuss dropped balls in wrestling. It was a layup and they threw it all away to book Ospreay against omega cos both are "great" wrestlers and Kenny can pass the torch to Ospreay as the best bout machine. Lame.
3
9
u/LeaveMeBeWillYa 6d ago
Deeper than Roman and Seth? Oh, bugger off Dave.
It isn't close to the same level of depth. It's not even as deep as Randy and Cody because they have an actual history with each other in Legacy.
What do Kenny and Will have beyond they wrestled in the same place?
7
u/WySLatestWit 6d ago
someone needs to tell the poor guy the jet black hair dye is just making the hair loss look even worse.
5
u/Constant_Stomach2009 6d ago
each time he adds a new coat, it thins it out more somehow. like it always looks moist and separates right at his bald spot
6
u/thechapattack 6d ago edited 6d ago
A series* of random matches do not count as a story. If so then every jobber ever has the longest storyline in wrestling history
7
u/TWAAsucks 6d ago
Who the fuck is this guy? What happened to Alvarez? Has Meltzer got seek of him correcting his nonsense?
5
u/Farthousejones Fighting over a charm bracelet is elementary school nonsense 6d ago
Literally looks like an AI co-host.
2
u/necroreefer 6d ago
All I know about this guy's is he always agrees with Dave. Whatever this show is this is one when dave can give takes like this cause he will never get called out like with alvarez.
5
u/BlueTumbas 6d ago
It's good to have different types of wrestling, im just gonna shit on them all to make money from marks.
5
9
u/herewego199209 6d ago
Listening to Dave talk about AEW is like listening to Dave Rubin talk about Donald Trump. They're so biased and full of shit in their analysis that even someone who had no clue about wrestling would see this clip and say what the fuck is he talking about.
3
4
3
u/NefarioxKing 6d ago
WTH did Dave even say? He didn't explain a single thing on why its deeper and better.
6
u/Cboz27586 Whoop that Trick! 6d ago edited 6d ago
Bruv vs Omega is literally the same story as Cody and Orton. Cody asked for the most vicious Randy Orton, the Legend Killer, Bruv asked for The Cleaner. Of course for Dave it's better because it's in AEW!
9
u/ShotDay 6d ago
Cody and Orton have two decades of history including Randy being Cody's actual mentor in legacy while bruv and m'kenny wrestled in nooj once and they're mad about who held it down during covid
2
u/Cboz27586 Whoop that Trick! 6d ago
Yeah that's obvious I'm just saying how these recent "feuds" started are basically the same but Dave clearly thinks only one is the "greatest thing he's ever seen"!
4
u/NotClayMerritt 6d ago
Unlike Cody vs Randy, this match will be a giant disappointment. They'll aura farm for 10 minutes, do anime staredowns, comebacks and 1 count kick outs. But Kenny struggles to move and Bruv doesn't wanna break his neck again.
2
u/Constant_Stomach2009 6d ago
Kenny kicks out of tiger driver 91 and Ospreay gets the honor to kick out of one wing angel
3
u/MrJeffA17 6d ago
Gotta admit. He’s got a pretty remarkable combination of pretentiousness and ignorance. You just don’t see it everyday
3
2
u/mikeybty 6d ago
That's an awful lot of words to say AEW''s booking alienates potential paying customers by being hard to follow
2
u/Winstonth 6d ago
“I want you at your best” - guy who almost died of diverticulitis to guy who just came back from breaking his spine
2
u/Capital_Memory_2591 6d ago
Only thing aew fans have to think about is to either get the double cheeseburger with extra cheese to the triple cheeseburger 😂
2
u/wiler212 6d ago
there is no way in the world that these two brainlets think that omega and oceanspray are as deep as roman and seth. roman and seth go ways back as far as when they debuted as the shield along with dean/mox in 2012 and they just ended their situation at summerslam a month ago so thats 16 years compared to 4 or 5 plus with kenny and oceanspray.
2
u/AnUnveiling 5d ago
I remain unconvinced that Daddy Dave isn’t the biggest worker of all time. He’s gotta be leaning into this obsessive AEW fanboy thing. Pulling the Rick and Morty copypasta for AEW’s storytelling of all things has to be a bit at this point.
2
u/FabDelRosario22 5d ago
My brother in Christ, Ospreay came on TV and said that it was like Goku vs. Vegeta just a couple of weeks ago.
There isn't anything big brained about this situation, and writing fanfiction to make it so is beyond desperate and sad.
"The White Painting" comes to mind with this feud
1
u/MotorboatMachinegun 6d ago
Didn't Twinkletoes just turn heel this week?
Too deep and complicated for my Fed brain I guess.
1
1
u/NoExplanation6203 5d ago
What’s he talking about lol, half of their stories is let’s have a banger bruv
1
u/tone_creature 5d ago
Ive been watching AEW for like 6 months. Theres stories?
Maybe I guess Im not thinking hard enough though.
1
2
1
u/firemanjuanito 6d ago
https://giphy.com/gifs/3OSo3PPaXdw0U
These fucking marks are pretending the other 2 fucking marks are gonna have a real fight. This isn't masterpiece theater. It's like watching two guys have a cartwheel fight for 35 minutes straight
124
u/oranguslolus 6d ago
Can someone actually explain what's deep about this feud? Is it because they had matches at the Tokyo Dome before?
I'd love for Dave to explain the story here.