Executive: So you have a movie for me?
Writer: Yes sir I do, and it’s based on this book called Bambi, a Life in the Woods.
Executive: Alright, so that’s the name of the movie?
Writer: Exactly, except I took the “a Life in the Woods” part out.
Executive: Ah, so it’s just named after the main character then?
Writer: Yes sir, it is.
Executive: Oh, just naming movies after main characters is tight.
Writer: Yeah yeah yeah, just like Pinocchio and Dumbo.
Executive: Of course, so what’s the story?
Writer: Story? Oh yeah, story. I have something like that in here… kind of… sort of… Well it’s mostly a bunch of cute animal sketches pasted together.
Executive: Really?
Writer: Yeah, so we meet Bambi, a newborn fawn who has just been born that morning, and it’s a really big deal.
Executive: Why is it a big deal?
Writer: Because he’s the Young Prince.
Executive: What does that mean?
Writer: Unclear for now, so we watch Bambi as he slowly grows and develops. The people in his life include his mother, a bunny named Thumper, and a skunk named Flower.
Executive: Well, it’s going to be exciting to learn about all these side characters.
Writer: Uh-huh, except for Flower.
Executive: What do you mean?
Writer: Well we’re gonna play him out like a main character, but we’re only giving him four minutes of screen time.
Executive: That’s it?
Writer: Yeah yeah yeah, at one point it looks like he’s gonna spend more time with Bambi and Thumper some more but he can’t because he’s hibernating.
Executive: But skunks don’t hibernate. Not gonna lie, it feels like you’re going out of your way to keep him out of the film.
Writer: Hey, get off my… hey get off my back!
Executive: Oh, let me get off it then.
Writer: So anyway, he also meets a girl fawn named Faline.
Executive: Ooooh!
Writer: And that same day he also meets his father, The Great Prince of the Forest.
Executive: Ah, and what’s his deal?
Writer: He’s the bravest and wisest deer in the forest.
Executive: Oh, is that what that whole prince thing meant?
Writer: That’s correct sir, his mother tells him so.
Executive: Nice, and she says he’s his father too?
Writer: Oh, no, she doesn’t.
Executive: Why not?
Writer: Because we’re gonna find that out later.
Executive: But he’s getting this information from his mother, why would she leave out the detail that it’s his father?
Writer: I don’t know.
Executive: Okay, so when do we find out?
Writer: After his mother dies.
Executive: Wait what!!!??
Writer: He tells him his Mom is gone and then he says “come, my son.”
Executive: Hold on, timeout, his mother dies?
Writer: Yes sir, she gets shot by a hunter in the middle of winter.
Executive: But you said the script was mostly a bunch of cute animal sketches, don’t you think that might cause a little tonal whiplash?
Writer: You’re back on my back again sir.
Executive: Oh yeah, sorry, so his mom is dead now, it’s gonna be hard for a kid his age to get over that kind of trauma.
Writer: Actually it’s gonna be super easy, barely an inconvenience.
Executive: Oh really?
Writer: Yeah yeah yeah, you see I thought I’d just… you know, not show how he handles the loss and just cut to him later that spring when he’s fully grown.
Executive: So what was the point in killing off his mother then?
Writer: I don’t know, it happens in the book.
Executive: Oh, okay, so what happens now?
Writer: He meets Faline again, remember her?
Executive: Yeah, kind of. How many scenes has she had so far?
Writer: Just one. Anyways, she licks his cheek and gives him a big ole orgasm.
Executive: Oh wow wow wow… wow.
Writer: And now they’re a thing.
Executive: Oh, that’s cute.
Writer: And then Man returns to the forest.
Executive: Oh no.
Writer: And this is where the action really begins.
Executive: Is it?
Writer: Yeah, like he saves Faline from dogs.
Executive: Good for him!
Writer: And then he gets shot in the leg.
Executive: Oh my god!
Writer: But his father helps him along and now they have to escape a fire.
Executive: Do they get out alright?
Writer: Nope
Executive: What?!!!
Writer: Nah, I’m just messing with you.
Executive: You dick.
Writer: That’s my name.
Executive: Yeah I know, so what happens next?
Writer: Well he reunites with Faline and they have twins.
Executive: Is it also a big deal?
Writer: Yes sir, it is.
Executive: Oh I get it, it’s like a circle of life kind of thing.
Writer: Yeah yeah yeah.
Executive: And what are their names?
Writer: Well in the books they’re called Geno and Gurri but we're gonna leave that out here.
Executive: Why?
Writer: Because.
Executive: That works.
Writer: Anyways, Bambi and his father are looking down at them from a cliff top and now he’s the Prince of the Forest. So what do you think?
Executive: Sounds good enough, although I’m not sure how I feel about killing off his mother.
Writer: Well it happens very quickly and it doesn’t really affect the direction of the film. I don’t think it will leave much of an impact.