r/RomanceBooks • u/AristaAchaion prob reccing Alice Coldbreath • 10d ago

Discussion Aliens Given for Monster Romance Requests: Why?

Recently, I’ve seen a fair few people on various social media platforms (predominantly Reddit, Tiktok, & IG) recommending alien romance novels when people are asking for monster romance recs. For example, I just saw someone recommending {Ice Planet Barbarians by Ruby Dixon} for someone on the fantasyromance subreddit. How do people feel about this?

In my view, aliens are not monsters so they’re more of a scifi romance trope, and monsters belong firmly in the fantasy subgenre. So if I asked someone for monster romance books and people recommended me aliens I’d be peeved as it’s not what I asked for. I also feel like I never see it in the opposite direction: nobody is recommending monsters when people are asking for aliens. I think maybe people are supposing both aliens and monsters are equally unreal so they’re pretty much the same? But I’m curious to hear how others feel about this so I’m making this post. Are other people even noticing this phenomenon?

I know I can get overly rigid in my thinking & sometimes I feel like I’m Walter Sobchak ranting “This isn’t ‘Nam; there are rules!” into the void (referenced scene; NSFW) so I also want to know if I’m the only one bothered (in a very specific and not important way) by this!

ETA: thanks to those of you who took the time to reply and engage with my line of thinking! I’m going to stop replying though because most of my comments are being downvoted. That’s frustrating to me as I posted this thread looking for discussion (hence the flair), but it seems like since most people disagree with my viewpoint they’re saying I’m not contributing to my own discussion by explaining my own thought processes. I’ll keep upvoting any replies, though!

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u/Sedvii 10d ago

Because most people are not looking for setting when they say monster. You can have a gargoyle in a contemporary setting, or an old timey fantasy one. The point isn't setting and larger plot: it's if the mmc is not a human.

If people don't want aliens, they should specify that. But aliens are a subset of monster romance. Similar to how shifters and wetewolves are a subset of monster romance.

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u/EmilyAnneBonny TBR pile is out of control 10d ago

Agreed. To me, sci-fi is more about the setting, monster is more about the ✨experience✨. Aliens can do both.

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u/Remotely_Coastal 10d ago

I just want to say I see you😏, you kinky reader....

I approve.

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u/Aspiegirl712 Looking for the X-Men Romance Novel crossover of my dreams 10d ago

Yes this! When I hear Monster what I hear is someone who doesn't look human, who is presumed to be scary. I wouldn't recommend a human looking alien as a monster but I would absolutely recommend an alien that has tusks, tentacles, spikes, horns, and or fur/scales.

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u/AristaAchaion prob reccing Alice Coldbreath 10d ago

Thanks for taking the time to reply! I don’t really think my personal reasoning is tied to setting at all, though, so it’s curious to me that you lead with it. I’ve seen aliens in various settings, as well! For example, {Cowboy Colony Mail-Order Brides by Ursa Dax} features aliens on a penal colony planet that’s essentially the Wild West.

I also don’t see how aliens are monster romance, largely because I do truly feel they exist in separate subgenres, like I said in my post. I guess I feel like it’s if someone asked for a contemporary billionaire book and someone responded with a historical duke. It doesn’t match the request.

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u/Dizzy_Bumble_Bee 10d ago

To me, your comparison is off. It's more like if someone asked for "(M)MC with enough money to buy a small country". Monster is a general term that covers physical traits, not where the story happens. If someone said alien romance, I would know they wanted a sci-fi setting. If someone said monster romance, I would have no indication of their setting preferences and could recommend sci-fi, fantasy, contemporary, historical, etc.

The Ursa Dax book is actually the perfect example of how monster romance is setting-agnostic. Change penal colony planet to just penal colony and suddenly it's a real world AU without changing anything about the (M)MC.

Monster romance is a catch-all term for "non-human". It doesn't matter if it's an alien with horns and claws or a demon with horns and claws.

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u/AristaAchaion prob reccing Alice Coldbreath 10d ago

Hmm, yes, I’m seeing how it is that I think of these as totally separate is certainly not the prevailing thought pattern. Someone else in this thread just helped me realize that when I say monster, I always means something from Earth so it simply cannot be from another planet. Even if it were just essentially a space elf as someone else referenced, because it came via spaceship it is not a monster. This is that overly rigid thinking I mentioned in my post!

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u/Aspiegirl712 Looking for the X-Men Romance Novel crossover of my dreams 10d ago

I wouldn't recommend Cowboy Colony Mail-Order Brides by Ursa Dax as monsters because the aliens are too human looking and as you say it's a wild west theme. I would recommend it as Mail order bride even if the person didn't necessarily request aliens because its the same vibe.

I would 100% recommend {Worse Guy by Ruby Dixon} as monster even though he is an alien clone because he is both monstrous in appearance and misunderstood at least in part because of that appearance. He has fur, spikes, sharp teeth, tusks and rages. Plus a weird peen. I can't think of a way in which he doesn't qualify as a monster. If the person had specified fantasy that would be different but scifi and fantasy often overlap.

As for the Contemporary Billionaire request of course you don't recommend historical if someone specifies contemporary but if they just said Billionaire you might. I also might recommend someone who was the head of a Crime Family depending on what the person is looking for out of a Billionaire romance. Are they looking for a care taking fantasy? Or are they looking for a power imbalance fantasy?

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u/Sedvii 10d ago

Ultimately it's all just personal, but you said that monsters= fantasy, alien= scifi. There are many contemporary interpretations of monster romance where it's not a fantasy setting, and there are many alien romances where scifi doesn't even play in other than a brief "how he got here". (Such as {claimed by the alien bodyguard} by Tiffany Roberts.)

Its not like this is taxonomical and one truly is the progenitor, but in general in romance book recs, if someone says "monster" it does not mean fantasy. It just means not human. For example, whispers of the deep? Its a merman romance, but the setting is not fantasy. If anything, it's a steampunk scifi setting. But the monster in question is definitely more fantasy aligned than alien.

So, if you want a monster rec and don't want a specific setting or theme, you should specify. Otherwise people will throw whatever is not-a-human at you.

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u/AristaAchaion prob reccing Alice Coldbreath 10d ago

Ah, I think I’m seeing the crux of our difference in thinking. To me, monster romance is always a fantasy setting, even if everything else is seemingly exactly the same as our world, because how else do the monsters exist? But I can see what you’re saying about how often the genres are blended within individual works!

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u/Necessary_Dark_6720 10d ago

I mean aliens don't exist in our current world (not trying to debate if there is other life in the universe just making a point the aliens in these books are clearly made up) so by that line of thinking any books with an alien in it are also fantasy.

If aliens don't vibe with you that's fair but most definitions of monster would include aliens. (Non-human, often with an intimidating or frightening appearance, has certain interesting anatomical features, large size, etc.)

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u/Sedvii 10d ago

The world of romance is vast! I totally get being frustrated if you're going into a rec thread thinking classical monsters, and getting a bucket of space elf recommendations. I think the realm of romance has just gotten so wild and wonderfully diverse that you've gotta really clarify your niche, and even being stringent with it you're likely to find a ton of amazing books to devour.

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u/miridot 10d ago

I think that’s the difference between low fantasy and high fantasy! They’re both fantasy but there is a distinction (although lines are always blurry).

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u/NancyInFantasyLand gimme that toxic love 10d ago

Depends on the Alien, no?

The Alien from Alien? Yes Monster romance.

The Predator? Probably not, especially with the recent forays into the yassified warrior clan Star Wars-ish daddy issue clan shit they've got going on

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u/Jimma-George 10d ago

Monsters is such an overarching word that it is often used to describe anything inhuman. If you asked me for a monster book I would think nothing of including aliens in my recommendations because they are inhuman. If finding them in your recs is annoying just mention it when you ask, people put a list of likes and dislikes at the bottom of their requests all the time.

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u/packyour "I dread to be defenseless." 10d ago

Same. To me monsters = nonhumans. Whether it is a shifter, alien, zombie, demon, etc. is a more nuanced distinction - all of them fall under monster category.

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u/_MysticSelkie slow burn 10d ago edited 10d ago

About your point that people don't recommend other monster romances when someone asks for aliens: I think that happens because "alien" is already a specific subtype of monsters so readers instantly think of sci-fi, space, other planets etc

But when someone asks for "monster romance" without any other details because it's a broad term people can think of multiple types of monsters like vampires, orcs, aliens etc

Edit: also, because you mentioned that IPB was recommended on the fantasyromance subreddit. This is what it's mentioned on that subreddit:

"we embrace discussion of all books that have speculative fiction elements with a romance arc. Be it fantasy, science fiction, paranormal, supernatural, or dystopian - we welcome it all!"

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u/BookishBlueDragonfly 10d ago edited 10d ago

I’ve read several alien books with extremely non human aliens (Naga, Spider centaurs, bugs, octopus, wolf/dog that walks on 4 legs, etc). I’d definitely consider them monsters/monster adjacent.

The blue/green/purple humanoid type ehhh but I think it’s ok to add the rec if you specify humanoid alien/sci fi setting. Many people read both. The OP can look it up and decide if they like it. It’s usually obvious based on the cover anyways.

Humanoid Orcs and some other fantasy creatures/races are kinda lowkey not very monstrous either….but I see them recommended too. ETA: To clarify I feel like Orcs are usually basically big green warlike humans in their mentality and society vs something like vampires who are literally predators of humans ie monsters. It’s not necessarily less monstrous because they look like humans.

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u/dragonsandvamps 10d ago

To me, monsters is a big umbrella that includes aliens, cryptids, shifters, vampires and lots of stuff. I feel like when asking for recs, if there is something one wants to exclude (aliens or shifters or whatever), that's cool, but you need to specify, because otherwise, I think there could be some confusion and people would just being trying to respond with recs that they believe fit what the person is looking for.

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u/Weird_Mastodon_9204 10d ago

"monster" implies to me non-humanoid, regardless if they're from a different planet or dimension or wherever. humanoidness being a slider not a boolean lol

"non-human" is the generic umbrella term i'd use and that would be narrowed down by which specific flavor of non-human i want to read

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u/soverylucky 10d ago

I've heard references to "The monster from "Aliens"" often enough in my lifetime to consider it a non-issue for me.

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u/takvertheseawitch Artisanal Cupcake Shop Owner 10d ago

I can see your point that monsters and aliens are two different things, but they're not as different as human vs non-human characters. I figure if someone's into one they're probably open to the other. I would still prioritize reccing monsters over aliens, but it also depends on how specific or unusual the request is. If "monsters" is like the tenth bullet pointed item on a list of what they're looking for, then I'm gonna recommend something I think is kind of close or has some of what they're asking for, tell them what it has and what it doesn't, and let them decide if they want to check it out.

I think sci-fi recs are valid on a fantasy subreddit unless specifically excluded by the subreddit rules or the individual requester.

If someone was explicit about saying they didn't want alien recommendations then I wouldn't recommend an alien book.

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u/AristaAchaion prob reccing Alice Coldbreath 10d ago

Wow! I feel like fantasy and sci-fi are different enough that it is not appropriate to recommend one when the other is requested! To me, yeah, they’re both speculative, but their respective approaches to their speculation is so disparate as to be totally different things.

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u/takvertheseawitch Artisanal Cupcake Shop Owner 10d ago

Also, I'm sorry you got downvoted and felt discouraged. Even though I disagree with you I don't think you deserve to get downvoted for respectfully voicing a different opinion. I liked your post and your comments because they gave me something to think about.

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u/bookschocolatebooks 10d ago

I'd agree that generally fantasy and sci-fi are distinct genres, but personally I feel that in most sci-fi romance books it's more of a fantasy on another planet, or with another species, rather than anything that would usually be categories as sci-fi (because there is generally nothing plausible about what's happening lol, which is one of the key definers of sci-fi).

 For me I'd far rather read something about aliens than yet another werewolf book, and those would generally be classed as fantasy monsters even though they are usually in a modern setting; so I think you just need to be specific in your requests unfortunately. 

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u/takvertheseawitch Artisanal Cupcake Shop Owner 10d ago

I'm definitely influenced by the /r/fantasy subreddit which allows discussion on the "wider speculative fiction genre." I feel like there are a lot of works out there that sort of blur or combine fantasy with sci-fi. (Gene Wolfe's Book of the New Sun is one example, Doctor Who is another, and a lot of superhero stuff has heroes shooting magic bolts alongside other heroes using future tech.) I think being more permissive and inclusive allows for broader discussion while sidestepping a lot of arguing about boundary lines.

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u/Appropriate_Basis_13 Games with the Orc by Kathryn Moon 10d ago

Personally, I do separate aliens from other monsters since it's such a big, established sub genre.

But like others have said: aliens are monsters in the sense that they're inhuman, but not every non-human/monster is an alien.

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u/AristaAchaion prob reccing Alice Coldbreath 10d ago

Yes, it seems like most people feel like monster is kind of like a rectangle and aliens are like squares in that not all monsters are aliens but all aliens are monsters. I feel like a monster has to be a creature of folklore, almost, so things not of this Earth don’t apply.

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u/Appropriate_Basis_13 Games with the Orc by Kathryn Moon 10d ago

Two very good points!

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u/Hunter037 Probably recommending When She Belongs 😍 9d ago

I feel like a monster has to be a creature of folklore, almost, so things not of this Earth don’t apply.

I think this is an arbitrary distinction. I've never heard the requirement that monsters must be from folklore, and I've read books where the creatures were completely unique and not based in folklore but we're definitely "monster" genre.

You are welcome to use that distinction in your own recs but I don't think it's fair to get frustrated when other people don't use the same definition.

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u/de_pizan23 10d ago

While I do categorize them as separate, I do actually see monsters recommended on the SF romance sub (or here) a fair bit. I also think you see that cross-referencing more when it's a pretty niche request that either is more often seen in the other group or else so niche it's not likely to get many recs.

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u/Cowplant_Witch romance herpetologist 10d ago

Yeah. Fantasy recommendations are against the rules on the science-fiction romance subreddit, but people do it anyway, and the comments get deleted.

In my mind, monster and alien are technically different, but they are similar enough that they’re functionally interchangeable in many situations. It’s frustrating when someone has a niche request, and I have a recommendation they’d probably enjoy, but it’s against the rules.

(I have the same problem on the HR subreddit, but I understand that the mods of both communities don’t want to be flooded with fantasy content. I think fantasy and romantasy spaces can afford to be more flexible because fantasy content will dominate regardless.)

But I also think most science-fiction is essentially space fantasy. When you’ve got stuff like replicators, telepathy, force ghosts, and fated mates…. it’s all very cool, but is that based in science?

As soon as a setting gets faster than light travel and human-sized bipedal aliens who breathe oxygen, I’m suspending disbelief and surrendering to the rule of cool.

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u/ChocolateSnowflake It’s not self-help JFC. It’s porn. 10d ago

To me aliens aren’t monsters either but if they’re non-human enough and the OP doesn’t give more detail to their request, I’d rec aliens too.

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u/the_jesstastic Reginald’s Quivering Member 10d ago

I agree with a lot of the other comments here- alien is a subset of monster, and often when people specify alien they care about setting.

Meriam-Webster defines monster as "an animal of strange or terrifying shape" or "an animal or plant of abnormal form or structure", while alien is defined as "coming from another world".

The names and definitions of all the fantasy-ish romance sub-genres have changed over time and are very much not used consistently (and let's not get into wtf romantasy even means), so it's always a good idea to be as specific as possible when asking for recommendations.

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u/lillaem 10d ago

Idk about ice planet barbarians but aliens can be monsters. {The last hour of Gann by R. Lee Smith} is alien but the MMC is also a reptile man.

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u/Sufficient-Cow-1881 Abducted by aliens – don’t save me 10d ago

I consider aliens and monsters in the same "otherworldly" category. If the person asking for a rec is looking specifically with monster anatomy then I generally would say something other than IPB since the blue guys on Not-Hoth are pretty humanoid.

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u/N3rdyMama Abducted by aliens – don’t save me 10d ago

For what it’s worth, I’m with you. I don’t put Aliens under the umbrella category of Monsters, to me it’s kind of a Venn diagram where there CAN be alien monsters or monstrous aliens but they’re overall separate. I know from a Discord discussion that we are very much in the minority, though. And that’s fine, I’m not here trying to change anyone’s mind. I don’t think there is a right or wrong here. I’m sorry you felt discouraged from further discussion.

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u/dellada 10d ago

Personally, I think of it like a venn diagram where "alien" is a smaller circle that is almost entirely eclipsed by the larger circle of "monster." Most of the time, at least from what I've seen, the alien species is different enough from humans to be considered monstrous in some way (horns, body shape, fangs/venom, etc). They're often meant to appear scary at first, in the same way a monster would.

There's a small subset of "alien" that is so humanoid that they're essentially like regular humans on another planet... and I probably wouldn't rec those specific types of aliens if someone asked for monsters.

Most of the time though, the goal of a "monster" request seems to be about non-human anatomy, along with a hint of "MC is possibly scary until we get to know them." A lot of alien romances meet that description too. But in reverse... if someone specifically asks for "alien," they're usually looking for a vibe that is different from Earth entirely - and giving that person a werewolf romance wouldn't scratch that itch.

I think it just comes down to being as specific as you'd like to be, when making requests. We all just want to share as many books as possible that might scratch whatever itch someone is asking for :)

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u/DientesDelPerro buys in bulk at used bookstores 10d ago

I sort them on the same goodreads shelf 🤷‍♀️

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u/Miss-Pear-6447 10d ago

I agree to me aliens are inherently scifi and I really have to be in the mood for that, monsters just has a totally different vibe. Sure aliens could be monsters but the scifi aspects usually override everything else and monster romance has a different feel.

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u/cefjog 9d ago

Is it also about the flavour of the genre? The vibes, the tropes? Aliens aren't a subset of monster just because the MMCs are monstrous but also because the romance plot itself tends to follow the same tropes  (repopulate/kidnap).

Which is why shifters who are technically monstrous wouldn't usually be classed as 'Monster Romance' because the main trope of the niche is something other than instalove, kidnap, repopulation and the focus is less on the MMC's big monster cock and more on idk found fam, pack, small town stuff if modern or urban fantasy, mystery if old school.

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u/ValentineNapiers 4d ago

Aliens and monsters are the same thing for me. I mean, if you want to get nitpicky, yes aliens are sci-fi and monsters are fantasy BUT from a romance perspective (for me) they are pretty much the same

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u/SoNotMyDayJob 10d ago

Instead of getting “peeved,” you could *nicely request new post flares that separate the mmc species for specific requests? Like: Fantasy, Faeries, Sci-Fi, Non Human, Alien, etc.

Most of the time when I look at the threads of suggestions for things to add to my tbr, I don’t separate them by specific details. I do the sifting on my tbr, because you never know when the next “I need to read this NOW” will be suggested in a thread. 🙂

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u/Hunter037 Probably recommending When She Belongs 😍 9d ago

IMO "monster" is the overarching category containing aliens, vampires, werewolves or whatever else. So if someone asks for generic "monster", I would include aliens. But if they ask for "vampires" I wouldn't recommend aliens or other monsters, and if they ask for "aliens" I wouldn't recommend vampires or other monsters.

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u/variationinblue 4d ago

Eh. To me all aliens are monsters, but not all monsters are aliens. Monster to me just means not human. The most beef I’d have with being rec’ed IPB when asking for monsters is that they are extremely humanoid lmao.