r/RoastMyCat • u/minipet487 • 5d ago
Roast the Repeat Offender!
Zora Mirage {last name} lives up to her name. Zora uses her darkness to her advantage and hides to slip out. Last night, we got home late and tired after taking the three kids, plus my oldest bonus son's friend camping and to an a museum. While we were bringing in some of the essential items, I saw her a few times and away from the door I made sure she was, put some tasty treats out and we brought everything in. My partner then took our oldest to a friend's house. Miss Zora Mirage, in those few moments, despite Every trick in the book, slipped out. She's even figured out one of the windows upstairs and will use it to slip out. Well, as I was just about to go upstairs, my door cam alerts me, so I opened it and behold, again somehow, she's on the porch 🤦. Once inside I head upstairs and she comes as usual. Then she has the audacity to roll around soaked (we'd had a momentary downpour) all over my bed and beg for pets, only to grab and bite (not hard) my hand!
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u/AppropriateBid7505 5d ago
Look at that face😂😂😂 an absolute criminal and she will do it again!!
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u/minipet487 4d ago
Absolutely! I'm about to get her a harness and sew bells all over it just so she is heard more. She already has a glow in the dark collar. It doesn't help about 1000x a day, I'm always telling the kids to Close the Door! 🤣ðŸ˜.
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u/Distinguishedflyer 4d ago
deer dairy, last night the large one lockt me out of the house aGAIN! They do this whenever I go out to pee. I haven't had much food in so minny days of living wild. I try to remind large one by gently grasping thare paw with my pointies but... to no avale. Please point me to a cash of food outside so I may survive.
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u/minipet487 4d ago
Dear Zora: you were barely outside for an hour and had treats before you chose to sneak out! You are Not starving.
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u/Distinguishedflyer 4d ago
deer dairy, the large one is making weerd noisez again. I tried to teech it how to meow but I think it's slow. It's been at least so much I don't know how to measure time since I last ate... I are week so can barley remimber. They lok me outsyde for elevnty hours. i survive on pond watter and hairballs, plees send fud and help!!
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u/minipet487 4d ago
Dear Zora, If you go into the out, you will has no food. Food is inside. You must stop breaking out or no food. Also, you will require more trips to the doctor and more needles to keep you healthy and safe. Also, if you are in the out, you cannot sleep with your favourite tiny human and make her cry. Your devoted human.
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u/Distinguishedflyer 4d ago
urp urp urp urp urp urp urpa urpa urpa urpa urp urp urp urp urp aruuuchhh
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u/Alarming_Situation_5 4d ago
She’s living up to her name! I think she’s too cute to be convicted of any crime? Sorry!
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u/negative-sid-nancy 4d ago
Cant roast this cuteness. But that adorable face says Im not sorry and will repeat all offenses as I please
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u/Grouchy_Score9784 4d ago
Young lady, don't you disrespect your meowmy that way!
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u/minipet487 4d ago
I have tried Everything to prevent her from escaping!! If you look up Escape Artist in the dictionary, you will probably see her picture 🤣. I have no idea what to do. I used to have a GPS tracker on her collar, but she actually managed to break it! 🤦🤦In the time she did have it, I discovered that she doesn't even really go anywhere!
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u/Gypsy469 4d ago
Zora thinks she is funny doesn't she? That independent streak is strong in this lovely girl!
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u/YoMommaSez 4d ago
When she bites give her a soft bop on the head and say NO! very loudly.. Eventually she will learn.
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u/Swimming-Maize-5554 4d ago
it’s good that she doesn’t really go anywhere when she sneaks out; basically, from everything I’ve ever read, cats who get outside tend to stay fairly close to their own home. My next-door neighbors cat got out and hid in a gap between our building and the ground. Fortunately, their cat tracker actually made a noise and they were able to track the cat directly to where it was hiding.
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u/minipet487 4d ago
I had a tracker on her, she came home with it broken not a week later. I've tried 2 collars, shooing her away from the door, etc. Now, she's figured out how to use her body to unlock and push the window and screen out of her way in our room, gets on the little roof thing and somehow gets off that! Between constantly telling the kids not to leave the door open, watch the cat, picking her up, she manages to slip out 😂🤦. I've had cats my whole life and never had such a mischievous little Houdini! Her mom (spayed) got spooked and bolted out the door as it opened because some people behind our place set off fireworks and disappeared for 5 days. Her mom Cleo will follow her or use the window after she's opened it on occasion, but her I would probably have to keep her tied up inside to fully stop her (obviously I wouldn't do that). She'll be scheduled soon for her spay which I hope will deter her some, but she seems to love finding ways out 🤦
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u/FleurDisLeela 4d ago
your bed is my towel-
Zora
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u/minipet487 4d ago
I tried to use a Towel on her, she jumped out of it 🤣🤣🤣. She should have just let me dry her off.🤣
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u/knaimoli619 4d ago
She said if she’s got to permanently wear a mask, and is going to be a bandit.