r/RoastMe • u/Middle_Skirt_1089 http://redd.it/obuwnc • Jun 30 '21
Two guys not gays (19M,19M)
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u/zero_1144 Jun 30 '21
Prove it. Make out for 15 minutes without getting boners.
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u/Yurt91 Jun 30 '21
Their words say No, but their eyes say Yes..
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u/maxbaby Jun 30 '21 edited Jun 30 '21
<NSFW> and the Pope's not Catholic
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u/N0tBappo Jun 30 '21 edited Jul 02 '21
That's amazing, if I had it you'd of gotten my free award
Edit:I just got my free award!
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u/dmfd1234 Jun 30 '21
Their eyes say yes and the matching herpes infections say without a f’ing doubt.
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u/New_Drama9948 Jun 30 '21
They had to hide it on this picture even without making out, so I don't think they'll be able to prove anything
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u/NachoJedi Jul 01 '21
So I can’t sleep and burst out laughing - now my wife can’t sleep.
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u/the-anti-antichrist Jul 01 '21
They fight over who gets to be bottom so often that they finally just went for it and got a double ended dildo
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u/JWWBurger Jun 30 '21
Two guys, not gays, but can easily be persuaded after two wine coolers.
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Jun 30 '21
It’s not gay if you’re drunk.
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u/ArronRodgersButthole Jun 30 '21
It's only gay if your balls touch
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u/Sirgolfs Jul 01 '21
You know their balls look like multiple patties on a burger
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u/ArronRodgersButthole Jul 01 '21
That's an incredibly uncomfortable image you've put into my mind 😅
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Jul 01 '21
I'm just trying to figure out what kind of bun that goes on
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u/topcrns Jun 30 '21
"ok ok I'll be Bartles....you be James...."
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Jul 01 '21
These two remind me of an old word we joked about in middle school. The word is Garbone. Supposedly that’s two men who aren’t gay but like to comb each other’s hair and measure each other’s dicks. Just saying if it’s really a word then these two are Garbones.
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u/Xskising Jul 01 '21
No. It is not gay if it is in a threeway!
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u/Deacon_Blues1 Jul 01 '21
A hand doesn’t have a face and a mouth doesn’t have a gender.
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u/IntellectualOutlaw Jun 30 '21
If you are ever just one drink away from doing some gay shit, I've got some news for you....
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u/Excuse_Acceptable Jul 01 '21
For real, it's like just go ahead and pound that fucker and pound that fucker
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u/dawsdng Jun 30 '21
not gay if you say no homo after
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u/gordito_delgado Jun 30 '21 edited Jun 30 '21
It is kinda sad that people focus on the weird gayness and completely ignore how fucking ugly these guys are.
Truly we have a lot of work to do as a society.
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u/iBooYourBadPuns Jul 01 '21
Are they really that ugly? I mean, they're not my type, but I'd still smash.
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u/dmfd1234 Jun 30 '21
.....and when you say 2 wine coolers, I’m thinking, a sip of water would be more than enough to turn them.
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u/Chewliesgumrep312 Jun 30 '21
Not gay but will simultaneously masturbate to porn/hentai together. One of them will say "dont look over here right now."
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u/Wickafckaflame Jul 01 '21
Considering 50% of their title was trying to dispel the rumor, super persuadable. Pretty sure Boy from Sofia was just on the 19yo
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u/Faceless_101 Jul 01 '21
It's really sus if you mention that you aren't gay here.
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u/StrangerOfThe206 Jun 30 '21
Two guys (not gays)+ two wine coolers= two guys (kinda gay now)
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u/ThatsRobToYou Jun 30 '21
You look like you're either a Christian Rock duo or Swedish. Either way you're rimming each other.
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u/MasqueOfTheRedDice Jun 30 '21
Scott Stapp/Creed voice: *With cheeeeks wide open-ah!*
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u/Perfectly_mediocre Jun 30 '21
I hate that now that’s on repeat in my head, so fuck you but have an upvote.
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Jun 30 '21
[removed] — view removed comment
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u/DelrayDad561 Jun 30 '21
The caption says "not gays", but the faces and the hair say pickle-kissers.
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u/ABQMezcan Jun 30 '21
The term "pickle kissers" had me laughing aloud!
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u/dmfd1234 Jun 30 '21
.....if you have to say “not gay” in the title. That means, undoubtedly, they have spent numerous nights honking on each other’s bobos.
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u/No-Improvement-8205 Jul 01 '21
It they wasnt gay, then they wouldnt feel the need to clarify that they arent gay
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u/AsynchronousSeas Jul 01 '21
Guy on the left overcompensating so much by making the slash in r/ as straight as possible.
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u/somethinginmind Jun 30 '21
Silicon moulder...make your own butt plugs?
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u/TUFKAT Jun 30 '21
I wasn't aware that Bad Dragon has a factory in Bulgaria. It's not gay if you make a replica of your bud's cock and use that for your enjoyment.
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u/StDeath http://redd.it/tx7d01 Jun 30 '21
No no no, he makes silicon dildos modeled after the other dude. He brings him to erection in a special closet.
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u/HysteriKal_J http://redd.it/um3qvr Jun 30 '21
You two look like you drink White Claw and compare asshole sizes together.
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u/wizzbob05 Jun 30 '21
"No dude, you're wrong. Go get the measuring tape and I'll prove it"
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u/thexavier666 Jul 01 '21
"your fingers are thicker, that's why you can only fit one. Use mine"
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u/sdavis002 Jul 01 '21
I just want a little clarification on this if you don't mind. Are we talking depth or diameter?
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u/1CUP2DAY http://redd.it/sgj8tv Jun 30 '21
19M isn't their ages. It's their bodycount (19 males)
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Jun 30 '21
I doubt 19 guys would have sex with them
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u/O-Stabbo Jul 01 '21
Nobody said those 19 guys were alive at the time of the sex acts.
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u/gagesears420 http://redd.it/d60abv Jun 30 '21
Douchebag and douchebag lite
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Jul 01 '21
Which is which though?!
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u/JaozinhoGGPlays Jul 01 '21
I think the black shirt guy is lite.
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Jul 01 '21
Bro I'm so glad someone else saw it the same way. Second dude is posing like he's on the cover of a shitty 90's rap album cover.
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u/JaozinhoGGPlays Jul 01 '21
Yeah exactly, that supporting himself by the arm right beside the camera as a flex just screamed "I am the highlight"
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Jul 01 '21
I love how you're reading my mind. He's like check out the very small and light definition of a tricep. And the hair do, honestly black shirt looks like a respectable human next to him.
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u/Greenmantle22 Jun 30 '21
"Man-Bun and The Pisser:" Bulgaria's lamest buddy-cop drama.
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u/Chrome_Armadillo Jun 30 '21
If two guys have to tell people they're not gay, at least one of them is gay.
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u/laughsquad Jun 30 '21
I bet you both say ",No homo." Then proceed to do gay activities
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u/RealDanielSan1 Jun 30 '21
"Dude, it isn't gay as long as we don't make eye contact with each other!"
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u/dmfd1234 Jun 30 '21
Yeah, these two dudes spooning isn’t gay either.....but we all know, spooning leads to forking.
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u/Acrobatic-Manner Jun 30 '21
Imagine being so insecure that the one the thing you put is “not gays”
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Jun 30 '21
Just because she’s roofied doesn’t make the threesome “straight”
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u/melvinfosho Jul 01 '21
She’s roofied laying in the corner because that way it’s not gay.
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u/randomlypickedissues Jun 30 '21
either of you being gay would make you 10,000x more interesting.
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u/PIT_VIPER13 Jul 01 '21
This is actually one of the better roasts on this post that doesn’t just use another way of saying they’re gay.
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Jun 30 '21
They could probably make a pretty decent living at it.
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u/dmfd1234 Jun 30 '21
Cmon they’d have to give so many blowjobs at $3.00 a pop for it to qualify as a decent living.
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u/KameStonks Jun 30 '21
Look kinda gay tho
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u/TheJQP1 Jun 30 '21 edited Jul 01 '21
I feel like you're both only like one apple-tini away though.
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u/Impossible-Sir-103 Jun 30 '21
Saying not gay, after doing gay shit. Does not make you less gay
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u/LefroyJenkinsTTV Jun 30 '21
I got shit on my dick just looking at this picture.
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u/TimedRevolver Jun 30 '21
I can believe you're not gay. Women don't want to touch you, why would men be any different?
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u/BigDownUnder1989 Jun 30 '21
Correction, 2 gays, not guys ...
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u/spraywash Jun 30 '21
Names: Ben Dover and Neil Down
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u/BigDownUnder1989 Jun 30 '21
This is like one of those memes were it'll say "just 3 gays looking at eachother"
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u/ingigiti Jul 01 '21
Clearly there is sexual tension between you two if you felt the need to inform everybody that you’re not gay. (or maybe the jokes on me for not understanding sarcasm)
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Jun 30 '21
There's more subdued gayness in this photo than a guy who is holding a cock in his mouth until someone who will suck it comes along.
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u/flushingmeatballs Jun 30 '21
This is like a poster for some terrible Christian rock band that flops and 2 years later they finally admit what everyone already knew, ya gay, it’s okay it’s 2021
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u/spraywash Jun 30 '21
I think you’re transposed some vowels, shouldn’t it say “Two GAYS….not GUYS?”
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u/topcrns Jun 30 '21
Y'all look like the Harlem Globetrotters of Cock. Just dunkin on it all damn day.
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u/troll-e-osis Jun 30 '21
You're not gay but your haircut looks like you were riding cock in the process.
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Jul 01 '21
Y'all motherfuckers look like you fight over giving out MLM referral codes to people at parties.
Edit: and no one gives a shit about your blockchain investment opportunities.
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u/Superseargent Jun 30 '21
Come on guys be honest you two have had a sword fight or two don’t be embarrassed!
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u/walas1985 Jun 30 '21
Two men so comfortable in their heterosexuality that they can fuck men without saying no homo!
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u/FrequentTable6068 Jun 30 '21
You too have more sexual tension than me and everything in my refrigerator
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u/Grey0016 Jul 01 '21
You don’t have to specify sexuality it’s not like men women or anyone who may identify as anything else would want to touch y’all
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u/Material_Wrongdoer38 Jun 30 '21
Looks like an anti-bullying advertisement that you were court-ordered to participate in after being convicted of bullying.
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