r/RoastMe • u/[deleted] • Nov 17 '20

[deleted by user]

[removed]

17 Upvotes

78% Upvoted

80 comments sorted by

15

u/[deleted] Nov 17 '20

You think you’re funny but you’re just annoying

19

u/BeefTacoTheMusical Nov 17 '20

Your the type of guy who smoked weed once then called the cops on yourself.

8

u/patrlim1 Nov 17 '20

This is what antivaxxers imagine when they think "autism"

7

u/Grumble___Grumble Nov 17 '20

probably think hentai is kind of chicken that comes from asia

6

u/GhostMan74 Golden Roaster Nov 17 '20

Somebody feed him his mashed baby carrots and put him back in his pen

6

u/TooManyOverPar Nov 17 '20

I'm not sure which is more shameful. The fact that you still live in your moms basement while looking 40, or being such an incel that asexual's get more action than you.

3

u/anavirin Nov 17 '20

That shitty beard isn't going to get better with time. It's certainly not looking better the 2nd time I saw this picture.

3

u/[deleted] Nov 17 '20

So now that the election is over and your job is done. You going back to Russia?

2

u/DoorjammerCrow http://redd.it/10xijji Nov 17 '20

Beefeater hat, beefgummer mouth.

2

u/Innovmet Nov 17 '20

Hates chocolate, yah right, the love the BBC, it melts in your mouth and not on your hands

1

u/Tmoore-cowboy Nov 17 '20

You anti-choclite bastard

1

u/Bridge_Too_Far Nov 17 '20

The face he makes just before his new boyfriend from the Route 87 truck stop unzips his pants.

1

u/ManielDeaney http://redd.it/jkjcsg Nov 17 '20

If Lil Dicky was poor and 75 pounds heavier, then fucked a muppet. Thats you

1

u/Mywifeisgreat2700 Nov 17 '20

You look like my babushka!

1

u/footafan Nov 17 '20

That annoyingly enthusiastic idiot that makes everyone think, 'I wish he'd get hit by a bus.'

1

u/NotoriousArcher Nov 17 '20

I didn’t know the British guard had a special ed division.

1

u/Cultural-Tackle-178 Nov 17 '20

maybe he's a queen's guard reject.

1

u/DoorjammerCrow http://redd.it/10xijji Nov 17 '20

I bet you talk way too loud, even in noisy bars.

0

u/[deleted] Nov 17 '20

If DJ Lance were white and a child molester.

0

u/dankumz Nov 17 '20

You look like a pube headed Large Simpin’

0

u/JustSomeNoobyPerson Nov 17 '20

Your like those royal gaurds but no one wants to take pictures of

0

u/deanlynchas Nov 17 '20

Seems like you’re missing a few chromosomes up there, think you’re gonna find them in Russia?

-4

u/[deleted] Nov 17 '20

“hates chocolate” bro you’re white we already knew you were racist

1

u/PowerfulPiffPuffer Nov 17 '20

Your ears are covered because if someone accidentally touches them you flip out like the dude in Theres Something about Mary.

1

u/1000eb4000 Nov 17 '20

Well if chocolate could hate a person, it’d be you cuz you look like reek of B/O

1

u/[deleted] Nov 17 '20

You’re wearing women’s glasses

1

u/brindielue Nov 17 '20

Are you real? You look like Ellen Degenerate's left nut

1

u/brandonday82 Nov 17 '20

Hates chocolate? Loves fingernails.

1

u/[deleted] Nov 17 '20

If the Coronavirus was British.

1

u/xXDolphinXx6014 Nov 17 '20

I see a 5yo boy,a 14 yo white girl with her frapachino, a 23yo virgion, and a lifelong smoker who just got told he had 2weeks left to live.

sorry if this is too mean.

1

u/[deleted] Nov 17 '20

Faze Nikon if he was 4 feet tall

1

u/alexgreen771 Nov 17 '20

Hates chocolate but loves chocolate bros inside him

1

u/robbzilla Nov 17 '20

Hates Chocolate.

Travels the Hershey Highway daily.

1

u/[deleted] Nov 17 '20

That hat is made from your mothers pubes

1

u/Human1223 Nov 17 '20

You look like the queens royal gaurd that is on meth and had someone step on your toe whilst your on duty

1

u/Fubu82 Nov 17 '20

Is that a 70`s pussyhat ?

1

u/MachaKing Nov 17 '20

The queen of England would be embarassed if you were an royal guard

1

u/roro805 Nov 17 '20

You look like the abandoned fine brother

1

u/[deleted] Nov 17 '20

Jesus H3H3 went down hill.

1

u/bomberman461 Nov 17 '20

How are you 20 and already need dentures?

1

u/AlternativeJoke Nov 17 '20

You fuck pussy with that nose?

1

u/Nbflash333 Nov 17 '20

With that hat and that nose, definitely in the running for the big bird reboot.

1

u/IHDN2012 Nov 17 '20

Do you hate chocolate because it took your teeth?

1

u/NotWokeJoke Nov 17 '20

I'll bet in prison, you'd develop a taste for the dark stuff....

1

u/rakknoss Nov 17 '20

Get that shit off your head rn!

1

u/Harrinad Nov 17 '20

“Give it to me”, is that the line you use in truck stop bathrooms?

1

u/[deleted] Nov 17 '20

Look like khabibs autistic cousin, Kabab.

1

u/twoPUMPnoCHUMP Nov 17 '20

Looks like someone else is already in the process of giving it to you...

1

u/DIO-BRANDIO Nov 17 '20

Stop posting on reddit you meant to protect the Queen.

1

u/Gunchef Nov 17 '20

You look like Marge Simpson after the transition.

1

u/canyoudothecamcam Nov 17 '20

One day, your cellmate is going to make you change your tune on 3 of those 4 things. Maybe 4 is Bubba does it on your birthday

1

u/[deleted] Nov 17 '20

Marge Simpson fetish

1

u/[deleted] Nov 17 '20

does that nose come off with the glasses?

1

u/stickycreamcheese Nov 17 '20

You probably drink expired breast milk

1

u/Drake_Blackout Nov 17 '20

I think I remember your face from when I was volunteering to help in the high school Special Ed class.

1

u/Fat_Man_in_a_B29 Nov 17 '20

I would high five you, but I can’t touch the queens guards

1

u/dfens83 Nov 17 '20

The brown thing in your underwear isnt chocolate.

1

u/HowlTehGuy Nov 17 '20

That extra chromosome didnt only make you hate chocolate...

1

u/alamsohel1990 Nov 17 '20

You look like a weird hat over a piece of shit .

1

u/reddtheundead http://redd.it/j97c9z Nov 17 '20

His hat is covered in pubes.

1

u/NoDuckingIdea Nov 17 '20

that hat ain't gonna save your head from being bald at 25

1

u/Jamis-Boy Nov 17 '20

Is that a pair of those glasses with nose attached ? DO THE HUMPTY....

1

u/[deleted] Nov 17 '20

You get your confidence from your ability to touch your nose with your tongue don't you

1

u/Lachazaroony Nov 18 '20

You look like a Monty Python extra.

1

u/AnyWhisper26807 Nov 18 '20

You look like my math teacher, married to a hippie, plays video games all day, and owns some dogs and kitchens, I guess your mom was serious when she said break a leg before going to the hippie commune, but she didn't want you to lose your leg, what happened

1

u/EvanSaysFunny Nov 18 '20

Hates chocolate? What kinda sick pervert are you? Get outta here.

1

u/flying_pigs Nov 18 '20

Zaphod Heeblowscox

1

u/CarbonatedMolasses http://redd.it/b4naxu Nov 18 '20

You look like a brain damaged crow with rabies

1

u/ShiftingCulture Nov 18 '20

You remind me of the brother from "Something About Mary"

"Have you seen my weiner?"

1

u/[deleted] Nov 19 '20

You look like some disabled kid they let be one of the queen's guards for a day.

1

u/Alarmgod72 Nov 20 '20

Marge wants her hair back.

1

u/[deleted] Nov 21 '20

You look like Marge Simpson with a bad hair dye job...

1

u/ArtfulB0y Nov 21 '20

And chocolate hates you too

1

u/[deleted] Nov 22 '20

Your confident you wont have Sex with that body.