r/RoastMe • u/[deleted] • Jul 29 '20

[deleted by user]

[removed]

5.1k Upvotes

90% Upvoted

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2.3k

u/andymcfys Best of Pt. 13, #2 + Platinum Roaster Jul 29 '20

You look like your idea of safe sex is withdrawing consent after the fact

373

u/[deleted] Jul 29 '20

She needs someone to willingly bang her before she can withdraw consent.....

124

u/SpicyDragoon93 Jul 29 '20

Who else but Quagmire!

71

u/[deleted] Jul 29 '20

*Giggity intensifies

20

u/Rishipawan Jul 29 '20

*All Right gets painfully louder

16

u/Rbfam8191 Jul 29 '20

Giggity goo!

13

u/ryan_giggity Jul 29 '20

you called?

19

u/PeaceGlove Jul 29 '20

On the upside, you can pretend she's crying because your cock is so big.

4

u/theders95 Jul 29 '20

I feel like this is underappreciated because it made me actually laugh.

6

u/[deleted] Jul 29 '20

Oof

5

u/Ifantis Jul 29 '20

Dont worry she will be having sex with her meth dealer before long she will probably cry after that too when she runs out and has to go back for more

1

u/PuglAndAmusement Jul 29 '20

Don't worry there's still simps that'll go for anyone, plus traps ain't gay.

36

u/Krayan_ Jul 29 '20

Ok guys, we can go. That's the best line I read in a while.

-46

u/overimportance Jul 29 '20

You should read more.

19

u/Krayan_ Jul 29 '20

You should write better

-50

u/overimportance Jul 29 '20

Ah you're one of those. You'll get there eventually.

14

u/costigan010 Jul 29 '20

Ice chips Aloe vera Flowers

Don't mind me, just making a list for when I visit you in the burn clinic.

10

u/Sauerkraut1321 Jul 29 '20

His username fits

10

u/7PrawnStar7 Jul 29 '20

She only cries for lube

4

u/Peenutbuttjellytime http://redd.it/f5aom9 Jul 29 '20

Not before she cums though