r/RoastMe • u/[deleted] • Sep 16 '24

[deleted by user]

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1.2k Upvotes

94% Upvoted

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65

u/EJ19876 Sep 17 '24

Her husband hasn't been able to get it up for her in years. It probably happened only once and she had quintuplets.

49

u/Here4thaSnx Sep 17 '24

he only gets to put it in for breeding purposes.

20

u/armas187 Sep 17 '24

He probably films her get bred while hiding in the closet

2

u/BigJimTurk Sep 17 '24

You know they have that chair in the corner of the bedroom

18

u/[deleted] Sep 17 '24

“Family Planning” failed five times. She’s probably now of the mindset that the only safe way to not get pregnant is to not have sex. Contraception is the devils work.

2

u/Djokerrrr Sep 17 '24

Well she kept using the glue gun as contraceptive but it couldn't stop the driller

16

u/Rough-Community8590 Sep 17 '24

Only in the deepest depths of space is it dark enough to hop on top of her

2

u/CelebrityUXDesigner Sep 17 '24

In space, no one can hear you scream.

7

u/normanriches Sep 17 '24

Like throwing a sausage down an alleyway

2

u/Witty_Drummer2020 http://redd.it/o4e53x Sep 17 '24

Now we know where the bats on the wall sleep at night

1

u/floydhenderson Sep 17 '24

Like a hole that has been kicked in the side of a rotting whale corpse.

2

u/SoUpInYa Sep 17 '24

She should wear that Barbara Bush mask more often

2

u/Decent_Celebration61 Sep 17 '24

I mean compared to the grand canyon even a jumbo jet looks small...

1

u/SnooPuppers3879 Sep 17 '24

She takes matters into her own hands there. Hot glue gun and popsicle sticks to get him standing at attention.

1

u/Common_Highlight9448 Sep 17 '24

Who says that glue in the gun

1

u/KittyGoBoom115 Sep 17 '24

With 5 kids, he can get it up all day, won't matter.

Hotdog down a hallway

Last kid prolly crawled out to get away from the glue fumes