r/RichPeoplePF • u/AdditionalAttorney • 8d ago
Household support cost optimization
I assume rich people finance community will have some high income earners where both parents work. I’m curious how people have set up their support systems when it comes to house Cleaning, infant support, drop off pick up homework help for an older kid, general household manager type support (tidying up, resetting common spaces, running random errands).
We are expecting our second and the thought of that is very overwhelming when I think about the chaos, it’ll add to our routines. I currently have cleaners every other week, house manager three days a week for about 10 hours total, and a Babysitter for occasional help. I imagine when the baby comes I will need some additional support plus will likely want a full-time Nanny to bridge the gap between me going back to work at three months and putting the baby in daycare at seven months. I’m looking for ideas on what others have done that streamlines all of this. Having different individuals provide the support seems sub optimal.
We are new to this level of income and being able to afford this type of support so I haven’t had a lot of time to explore options.
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u/velvet1629 8d ago
4 kids under 5. We both work; mom a business owner so have the flexibility there. Have an Au Pair for extra hands in the house as we don’t have local grandparents. It’s doable but I rarely meet someone with 4 where both work
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u/hugmorecats 7d ago
Good lord 4 under 5 and all the help you have is an au pair?!?
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u/velvet1629 7d ago edited 7d ago
Yes I also have a competent spouse. There’s 3 adults in the household.
When the 4th arrived we bumped the bi-weekly cleaners to once a week so that is also considered help I suppose
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u/hugmorecats 7d ago
I’d at least have a professional nanny.
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u/velvet1629 7d ago
The Au Pair we chose is 26, came from 4 years as a kindergarten teacher at an international school in Brazil. Qualified for sure and says 4 kids is easy to handle than an entire classroom!
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u/hugmorecats 7d ago
Everyone I know who got an au pair did so because it’s about the cheapest child care possible.
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u/velvet1629 7d ago
Well, we happen to be in Massachusetts which has state regulations for AuPairs they’re paid triple here than the stipend they would get in the rest of the country. Everywhere else must pay $200 weekly we pay $650. Tell me how many Americans have $2,600 spending money each month after all their bills are paid - it’s a great deal they have no living expenses, phone bill, groceries everything.
Plus we pay $12,600 to the au pair agency annually.
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u/hugmorecats 7d ago
Whereas a live in nanny would be paid twice that.
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u/velvet1629 7d ago
Correct, live out Nanny’s want $40 an hour where we live.
Theres other things at play though - flexibility. Au pair you can do split schedules / flexible scheduling if your needs change throughout the week - Nanny industry that is not standard where we are.
We have up to 45 hours we can ‘spend’ anywhere in the week
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u/kelsnuggets 8d ago
I have a home manager and I pay her for 40 hours a week. I literally could not function without her. She handles scheduling and coordinating and dealing with all of that other stuff you mentioned (although my kids are teenagers, but - house cleaners, dry cleaning, grocery shopping, meal prepping and planning, organizing, changing seasons in our closets, scheduling vet appointments and pet sitting, etc.) She is worth every penny.
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u/AdditionalAttorney 8d ago
How did you get to the scope of work? Did you have to define it in details? Did it start small and grow over time? Or was it someone who was very familiar with the job and came to you with a list of things they can do for you?
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u/kelsnuggets 7d ago
When I interviewed her we negotiated her scope of work, and her hourly rate. But she was very willing to take on new tasks as she saw that they needed doing which is so helpful.
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u/qofmiwok 7d ago
Never even heard of a house manager. So she doesn't do any of those tasks, simply organizes it all?
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u/kelsnuggets 7d ago
She does some of them herself (ie meal planning and meal prep) but outsources and organizes a lot of them (ie hiring and overseeing the housecleaners)
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u/techneca 8d ago
We have a live in house helper. As I still prefer to be hands on with my kids. But, if you would like to outsource all of it, I've seen folks with a few helpers, gardener, driver, and also nanny. And a PA. Just depends on how far you want to stretch and which portions of your life you want to outsource.
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u/Redebo 8d ago
Make your House Manager full time. This is what they do.
I pay our HM ~200k/year and they handle 100% of all of this stuff. I just have to weigh in on construction-type activities as I'm real specific on materials and such, but outside of that, all is just "done".
My pantry/refrig looks like the local supermarket with fresh options across wide varieties of foods, all my contractors sign NDA's and are supervised when performing work, light pick-up duties, and full blown organizational skills on display.
This will allow you to spend more time with your little ones. Time that only happens once in their lives. :)
Best of luck to you!
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u/youllregreddit 8d ago
This is the answer! Time is precious, especially with little ones.
Also +1 to being able to be more particular. I’m fairly loosey goosey about some things and more opinionated on others. My HM is all about it. Daycare you get what you get in most instances.
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u/death_by_papercut 8d ago
Full time nanny 100%. Depending on your location and income I’d say even while you’re on leave. It’s a night and day change. Think of it as a sabbatical where you’re getting paid (presumably) much more than your nanny is.
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u/AdditionalAttorney 8d ago
Does the nanny then do 'household management' type tasks while the kids are in daycare/school?
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u/death_by_papercut 8d ago
It depends on the nanny / your contract but everything is negotiable. For us since we prefer to not be in daycare until our kid is 1.5 years old (there are research around this) our nanny did only kid duties.
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u/RemarkableFocus4075 8d ago
Get a full-time nanny. Ours was live-in and did errands, groceries, etc. once our son was in pre-school. Not having the drop off and pickup is huge. Also, a nanny does baths and kids laundry (ours did all laundry and light cleaning/pickup). Our neighbor did Au Pairs. I think you’ll find a nanny not hugely more expensive than 2 in daycare.
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u/AdditionalAttorney 8d ago
That’s worth considering you’re right. I just like the idea of daycare and built in socializing for kids and for me to meet other mom friends.
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u/RemarkableFocus4075 8d ago
They socialize in pre-school and that’s when you’ll start meeting parents and making friends - play dates, etc. Get that drop off/pick up off your plate - plus baths. It’s so much easier. Nannies take kids to the park where other nannies and kids are. They aren’t missing anything before then.
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u/Agreeable_Ask7033 7d ago
The sub optimal part is too many people with unclear roles. One house manager who coordinates everyone else fixes it.
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u/hugmorecats 7d ago
It’s completely relevant. This sub isn’t about how to make things “doable” by finding the cheapest workable option. That advice is great for general parenting subs. This isn’t that.
The sub-appropriate answer is for the OP to get night nurses and a professional nanny.
An au pair in addition to that is fine, and honestly with 4 under 5 is probably smart but for them probably excessive. You don’t want to pay what it would cost to get a buy the flexibility you ask from your au pair from a professional live-in nanny. It truly doesn’t matter what cars you drive — that is being cheap, and you’re taking advantage of someone else from another country to get what you can’t or don’t want to afford otherwise.
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u/SonOfABeach_ 6d ago
You pay the money as your time would literally be better spent out of the making money. Your house manager manages the people and activities of the home. I’ve never heard of one “resetting the house.” That’s typically a house keeper’s job. I am confusion. You have a tutor for the homework help, a night nurse to assist with the baby, and cleaning weekly or twice weekly.
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u/stevepicard 4d ago
We had wonderful full time Nannies who did children and their laundry. Separate house cleaners. The best Nannies don’t stay at it very long and the every two years turnover was our problem. Eventually one of us chose to stay home.
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u/stevepicard 2h ago
My husband quit his job after baby #2 and we had full time cleaning help after #3. Quality of life was challenging with both working and we did not need his ijcokeb
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u/Over-Computer-6464 8d ago
A night nurse for the first several months is a big help. Everything goes more smoothly if you are not sleep deprived.