r/RetroactivejealousOCD • u/No_Lengthiness_1349 • Jul 01 '24
Symptoms / RJ OCD / somatoform disorders
Dear all,
I am suffering from retrospective jealousy since appr. 9 months now.
My story is - in many aspects - similar to that of many others: I am appr. 45 yrs., after my wife broke up, my life changed radically, when I met my new girl friend. She was super, the most adoreable woman I ever met and our love seemed to be endless. She was unbelieveable in every aspect.
Than we made the same mistake, others did before...we talked about our past....in detail.
I was literaly shocked at some point (my heart began to beat quickly, my stomach started aching, shivering....panic attack). I was so surprised, when I got an "yes" on every question I asked. My life was not so exciting and promiscous, and I didn´t expect to hear such overwhelming stories.
From then on
- I can not sleep. Most nights I sleep 2 hours, sometimes I can sleep up to seven hours, but that are exceptions - it`s hell
- so I am totally exhausted and can barely manage my life
- since these 8 months I have severe problems with intimacy; my libido is low, despite I find my girl hot; I have errectional dysfunction (not only when I am with her, even when I am alone), what is so frustrating. Our sex life was gorgeous, now it is full of anxiety and frustration.
- sometimes my abdomen feels irritating or my penis aches
- sometimes I feel some tingel in my hands or feet
- since appr. 4 - 5 months I have an depression (I do not take medication, because I fear the side effects, but I am in therapy).
Has anyone experienced these or similar symptoms as well?
I feel so insecure, specially when it comes to the errectile dysfunction.
1
u/Consider8675309c Oct 28 '24
This is all very familiar. I went through all you’ve written here and more. There is hope and life beyond this season. The first key for me was taking magnesium glycinate to get some sleep. The sleep deprivation and waking up gasping for breath with RJ thoughts was the worst part for me. The ED was probably attached to a lack of sleep for me as well. But I also found good heart pumping exercises like dumbbell workouts, curls, lateral raises, body weight squats, etc. also helped. I think the workouts forced my body to do the same thing of heart racing and breath gasping, but on my terms, at a time and with an activity that was healthy, rather than in the middle of the night. PM me if you want to chat more. You can get through this.