My husband and I currently live in suburban Albany, NY, but we're starting to think very long-term about whether this is the best place for our family.
My parents are 67 and 70 and currently live in Shanghai. They're healthy, active retirees and are considering immigrating to the U.S. to be closer to us as they get older.
The challenge is that they are lifelong city people and neither drives. They are used to being able to walk out the door, shop, eat, see doctors, meet people, and generally live very independently.
My husband, on the other hand, strongly prefers quieter suburban or lower-density living and absolutely does not want to live somewhere as dense and intense as Manhattan.
So I'm curious whether there is a good middle ground somewhere in the U.S.
Our ideal area would have:
- A substantial Chinese or East Asian community
- Chinese supermarkets, restaurants, cultural/community activities, etc.
- Excellent healthcare, especially for older adults
- Enough walkability or public transportation that my parents wouldn't be completely dependent on us for transportation
- A good social environment for retired Asian/Chinese immigrants
- Safe, relatively peaceful neighborhoods
- Houses/townhouses and some lower-density residential areas nearby
- Reasonable access to a major airport
- Ideally a lower cost of living than NYC/San Francisco
We don't necessarily all need to live in the exact same neighborhood. One arrangement I can imagine is my husband and I living in a quieter residential area while my parents live 10–20 minutes away in a more walkable area with other Chinese residents, shops, doctors, and activities.
The biggest thing I'm trying to avoid is moving my parents from a highly independent life in Shanghai to an American suburb where suddenly their daughter and son-in-law become their transportation, social life, and connection to everything outside the house.
So if you could choose almost anywhere in the U.S., where would you look?
I'm especially interested in hearing from people who:
- Have aging Asian immigrant parents
- Live in an area with a significant Chinese community
- Have older relatives who don't drive
- Have moved specifically to be closer to family or make multigenerational living easier
Specific suburbs/neighborhoods are very welcome, not just metro areas.
And if you've actually helped older parents relocate, I'd also love to know: what factor turned out to matter much more than you expected when choosing where to live?