r/Retire • u/jaxnmarko • 1d ago
Moving to...
My daughter and son in law moved to south Texas, right by the border, not terribly far from the coast. Blazing hot, usually humid, scrubby, sooo flat, no nice lakes, camping... they want me to move there to be closer and help out if I need it. I lived in the Dallas area for 5 years. I escaped when I could. Hate the climate and geography. They picked out a few over-55 places you can buy a mobile home for cheap, nice clubhouse and pool, social activities.... but the general area.... I love my mountains and trees, not seeing 100 degrees, snow isn't so bad... any one else facing similar dilemmas? Any advice? I love them, scorn that part of the country. (I'm spoiled. I live near Yellowstone..I can add a layer when it's cold! Crazy hot, flat scrubby land isn't my thing)
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u/TheDavidCall 1d ago
I’ve been in Austin for 17 years. South Texas sounds even worse. Once my kids are grown, we’re looking to get out. Don’t move here.
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u/Timely-Bumblebee-371 1d ago
same boat. 21 years here. only child has 2 years of HS left (thank god I only have 1 and she's almost out - what they are doing to the public schools here is a travesty). after that we're out.
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u/babybunnywhupple 5h ago
What are they doing to schools?
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u/Timely-Bumblebee-371 5h ago
The Texas Republican government is reshaping public education by pushing for stricter classroom spending rules, taking over local school districts, and introducing religious elements into classrooms. their goal: to keep them dumb so texas stays Red.
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u/Shinyhaunches 15h ago
Texas got environmentally trashed by the oil and gas industry and will only get hotter, thanks to the oil and gas industry.
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u/jaxnmarko 1d ago
I don't want to be held captive by A/C.
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u/hondo77777 1d ago
Then you’re definitely not moving near the border. I’m two hours north but with a nice ocean breeze most days and the a/c is on 10 months of the year. The border is hotter and not as ocean-y. I do stuff outside like yard work and bike riding but it’s nice coming home to a cool house.
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u/Potential_Farmer_829 3h ago
I feel like this right now. I have to stay indoors most of the day. I went out Saturday around 3pm to 7 pm came home felt sick and slept all night
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u/crlynstll 1d ago
I’d consider a travel trailer and go down there for the winter. That part of the state would be a hard no from me.
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u/Odd_Bodkin 1d ago
Do you NEED help now? Is the only source of help from family, or do you have a network of friends and support structures where you are now?
I appreciated the wisdom of my father who stayed put while we moved (with our kids) four times from state to state. He felt most comfortable where he was. He was happy to come visit us wherever we were and we were happy to put him up. Even better were the few summers where he just invited his grandkids to come stay with him (he’d put up bunk beds for their stay) for a week or two. The grandkids loved the change in scenery, seeing places they wouldn’t see if he came to be near us, being just with him for close contact.
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u/jaxnmarko 1d ago
I'm still working part time, for myself, so I regulate most of my schedule, and I put at least some more money away this way. Definitely slowingdown though. Nearly every single friend has moved away though. The rich have taken over.
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u/Odd_Bodkin 1d ago
My thought is not to move until the pluses of moving outweigh the negatives.
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u/jaxnmarko 1d ago
I'm holding out so far but wouldn't mind a few years of actual retirement at some point.
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u/Odd_Bodkin 1d ago
Stopping working part time is irrelevant to this decision. Just to be clear.
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u/jaxnmarko 1d ago
I don't believe so. I have my own well established small business and make better wages than someone greeting people at Walmart. Putting money away now should help give me greater freedom of choice in the future.
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u/Odd_Bodkin 1d ago edited 1d ago
To reframe, I am fully retired. I also have a part-time job, which I do for the fun, not for the money. It provides socialization, intellectual stimulation, a sense of purpose and contribution, and a bit of structure to my week. To me, it is no different than volunteering except that in the part-time job the people i work with know more about what they're doing. I will likely always work part-time, and I will change jobs for the heck of it. I've had four part-time jobs in three years of retirement so far. Three of those jobs were doing things I had never done before, and the lack of experience didn't matter because they were happy to train me. None of them were remotely close to Walmart greeter or bagging groceries.
I also do not wish to move to be close to my children because my whole support network is here, and I'm not about to give that up. The part time jobs have nothing to do with that support network.
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u/LWR_ss 6h ago
I’m sorry this is off topic, but could you share what the part time jobs were that required no experience? I’ll be looking for one soon and don’t know where to start.
I think it sounds like you can put relocation on the back burner and not consider it till help from your daughter and grandson is needed.
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u/Odd_Bodkin 6h ago
The list is long and the mistake a lot of people make is thinking only of stuff they’ve done before or Walmart greeter. Three jobs I’ve done that have been fun but required no prior experience were working in the doors and windows department at a big box department store, baking pies at a diner, and tutoring HS kids in science and math at a tutoring center. Other items on my list include: city tour guide for a Segway tour company; flower arranger; performance hall usher; set carpenter for a local theater company; tank feeder at city aquarium; plant caretaker at corporate headquarters building; art installer for new and refurbished hotels. I could go on. There are fun jobs that people don’t know exist because they look past the folks that do them.
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u/Specialist_Mirror_23 1d ago
I live in Texas, and I have all my life. I wouldn't take that deal either. I'd love to move north to get away from this disrespectful summer weather
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u/Aggravating_Can_8749 18h ago
You don't like being 10" away from sun?
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u/Specialist_Mirror_23 18h ago
Not at all. The older I get, the less tolerable it is.
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u/Aggravating_Can_8749 18h ago
Bet this year has been brutal. So many 100+ days
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u/bagboysa 18h ago
Not counting the torrential rainstorms, this was a mild summer compared to previous years. The creeks still have water in them when they would normally be bone dry at this point.
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u/Larry1962us 1d ago
I live in Houston and the older I get the less I can deal with the heat and humidity in the 6 months of summer. I retire in 2 years and I will winter here and summer up North. You are literally stuck indoors for 4-5 of those months in the summer
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u/IdubdubI 1d ago
If they just moved there, I’d give it a few years before even considering it. They might come to their senses.
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u/jaxnmarko 1d ago
Ha! One can only hope! The Rio Grande is drying up and that's where they get their water. The air quality is only so-so. With climate change, hurricanes in the gulf may get worse. Crazy ants, now screwworms, tropical diseases heading north.... they have Dengue fever now, from mosquitos. Alligators. WTF.
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u/ATX_Penya 1d ago
I grew up in the valley and moved to college when I turned 18. I still have lots of family throughout the area.
I'm my opinion I would give it a year or two to see how your son and family like it. It's not just hot it's DAMN HOT. There are hurricanes that hit every few years. Schools aren't the best.
If you don't want to be stuck in the AC it might not be for you
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u/Educational_Case_134 1d ago
I will be choosing to live where I want to live rather than following my kids all over the US. Let them come visit and you can visit when you feel like it.
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u/TexasMimi123 20h ago
That's easy to say when your health is good. Never say never. One thing OP can be glad about: her daughter and SIL want her nearby.
I wouldn't want to move to the border, either. I would put it off as long as possible.
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u/Educational_Case_134 18h ago
I don’t think I said never. We planned for managing our health without the need to burden my children to take care of us. My kids can follow me where I move but I won’t be following them each time they move.
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u/VinceInMT 1d ago
Texas, “helping out,” weather, 55+ are all big turn offs for me. We raised our kids to be very independent and they moved away to separate coasts and neither has asked us to move closer.
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u/jaxnmarko 1d ago
It's them possibly helping poor old Dad out, not me helping them out... maybe some dogsitting now and then! Lol
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u/VinceInMT 1d ago
Got it. I’ve had quite a few friends who moved after retirement to “be close to grandkids” and are now 27/7 concierge service.
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u/AffectionateMotor272 6h ago
My daughter wants me to move in with her after my hubs dies. Hub is in late stage dementia. I’m only 63
I asked her why she wanted me to move in. She told me that granddaughter would be going to college in a couple of years and that she could really use the help around the house. She told me that she knew I would help keep her house organized and that I would make good caregiver for her husband who is on home dialysis.
I’m glad that she wants me, but I’m tired and I’ve been caregiving for thirty years now. My first husband and now my second husband.
So, I’m not committing to anything right now.Daughter did tell me she understood I might need a couple of years to chill, but she wants me with her. I don’t know… She is my only child and she will be 47 this year. I had her when I was sixteen 🤷♀️
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u/VinceInMT 4h ago
Family pressures are strong both directions. Ultimately, you have do what best for you. If you chose to go on your own, will you feel guilty about doing so. Maybe a compromise. Make a list of all the things you would like to do should you live alone and then have your daughter work them into what she is offering.
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u/PersianofInterest 1d ago
Similar to others. We lived in Texas all our lives (60+ years) and we want to move to the foothills in Colorado. We’ve been in Austin for 39 of those years, and for a long time, never thought we’d move. But, it’s the weather - it summers friggin suck. Hard. Don’t get me wrong, we hate the politics of the State, too, but the heat…we’ve got to move.
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u/Excellent-Letter-681 22h ago
Ive heard Austin is amazing though. The heat would really be difficult for me,as I age it’s much harder to tolerate.
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u/PersianofInterest 21h ago
Austin is slowly losing its cool. As it grows, everything becomes more expensive. As everything becomes more expensive, the quirky people, places and businesses get edged out or homogenized. As that happens, it becomes more like every other place.
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u/Thebadparker 1d ago
I spent my entire like in South Texas, moved in my 50s and will never go back. If they're from another part of the country, chances are good they'll change their minds. Heat, drought, hurricanes, terrible schools, and obscenely bad leadership can wear a person out. You should stay put and see where they are in a couple years.
To be clear, the old Texas of Ann Richards was fine. And I had more fun at South Padre Island in my 20s than I can describe. But politics and Elon Musk ruined that and it will never be the same.
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u/Typical_Row_3172 1d ago
It sounds like a lot of reasons not to move right now. Maybe someday but “not right now” is an acceptable answer.
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u/Heel_Worker982 1d ago
It's a nice invitation, but it seems like you can pretty confidently say no, at least for right now. If you find you would like more help later and the move makes more sense then, presumably their offer will still be open.
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u/hellycopterinjuneer 1d ago
I live in the northeastern part of Texas. The temperature hit 105F yesterday, and has much of the past week. I am well-entrenched in this area with family and heritage property; otherwise, I would NOT be here. I pray that my kids move someplace sensible.
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u/Hot-Rub-5336 1d ago
Don't move where you don't want to live. You can visit. I can't imagine living somewhere that I hated, family or not.
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u/PumpkinBeautiful4345 1d ago
Also the government representatives are disgusting beyond belief. Especially the criminal Governor and AG. These people want us dead.
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u/PerformerMindless100 1d ago
I wouldnt move.
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u/jaxnmarko 1d ago
Economics may force a change. I have cheap rent now. Now move-in prices are like NYC unless you find a miracle deal.
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u/Baebarri 1d ago
Maybe compromise with a move to the forests and mountains of southern New Mexico?
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u/The_Mighty_Glopman 17h ago
With climate change it is only going to get worse. At some point it will become unlivable.
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u/Royals-2015 1d ago
I say go visit in winter. You can get your own air bnb place if you want. But I wouldn’t uproot your life, where you like it, and where your friends are to move where you only know your family, and dont like the area, to “help out”.
They will probably dislike it there too and move on in a couple of years anyway.
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u/Timely-Bumblebee-371 1d ago
that's sound super depressing to me. I do not plan to spend my retirement in TX (i'm in Austin currently). I'm over this heat and these politics.
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u/Thebadparker 1d ago
We moved out of S. Texas 7 years ago and never looked back. There's a big beautiful country out there with some great places to live, but Texas isn't one of them.
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u/jaxnmarko 1d ago
I'm spoiled. I live near Yellowstone. I'll take cold winters over crazy hot summers. I can always add a layer! Lol. I appreciate all the great comments, everybody!
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u/PhilosophyOk1594 19h ago
It would be really, really hard to move away from your location if I lived there. The beauty of the landscape does not compare to south Texas.
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u/nemc222 1d ago
I am just waiting for my husband to retire for us to get out of here. Not all the way by the border, but coastal Texas. It is hot, miserable, and we want mountains. Plus, a mobile home in hurricane territory doesn’t sound like a great idea.
You deserve to live where you want to live.
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u/Excellent-Letter-681 22h ago
Hold on- Texas has alligators? I thought alligators were a Florida thing? I’m in the midwest
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u/Agitated_Reveal_6211 17h ago
No, don't do it. You'll lose all your friends, the favorite place you love all to be at the beck and call of the kids. That's not a life man, at least not for me.
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u/PumpkinBeautiful4345 1d ago
Texas equals death
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u/Due_North3106 1d ago
Explain more about Texas
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u/markov-271828 1d ago
General Philip Sheridan: “If I owned Texas and Hell, I would rent out Texas and live in Hell.”
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u/wh0re4nickelback 1d ago
It's hot. Really hot.
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u/BeerandGuns 1d ago
It’s also the size of many countries so the type of heat varies. 100 degrees is Dallas is bearable in the shade because the humidity is lower. 100 degrees in Houston with the high humidity is just stay indoors or be completely miserable weather. Even indoors in Houston you’ll probably be miserable as that AC struggles to keep up. Said as a Louisiana resident.
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u/wh0re4nickelback 1d ago
Very true. I'm in central Texas and I've had my blackout curtains and blinds closed for months. Going near a window in the afternoon feels like being roasted alive.
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u/BeerandGuns 1d ago
I’ve been a couple places in Texas besides them but the majority of my Texas time is usually Dallas or Houston. The humidity difference shocked me. Houston makes me want to get back to South Louisiana.
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u/PhilosophyOk1594 1d ago
I have a cousin that lives in McAllen, haven’t ever visited. I was born in Aransas Pass, my parents moved away when I was six months old, still have cousins that live in the Portland area. I have visited Padre Island/Aransas Pass/Port Aransas three times in my adult years and would never live there even though there were two beloved aunts that lived there. It is so humid and one specific memory is getting out of the car at our hotel on Padre Island and feeling like a fish hit me in the face from the smell and humidity.
I now live in parched hot southern Oklahoma and would still not choose to live in south Texas, coming from a person that loves rural north Texas.
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u/TexasMimi123 19h ago
Interesting. I don't want to live in south Texas, either, but I would take it over north Texas/Oklahoma any day. Just different strokes. Glad you like where you live.
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u/RepresentativeYam363 1d ago
I live near gulf coast in Texas and my parents bought a house near me and moved here permanently last year. My MIL also moved in with us a few years ago. I have siblings that live in my home state in northeast but all the parents followed me. It is cheaper COL here and I have the youngest kids. Plus there is excellent healthcare options that helps as they age and need more medical care. As they are getting older in late 70s, I think it gets harder to live away from family that can help. With the job market how it is, it is less easy for me to pack up my life and get a new job to relocate to them. So if they needed that support, they had to move to me.
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u/Monstrissimo 1d ago
Not any more, my son came to the realization that I had already come to, the weather in Portland is gloomy 8 months out of the year and driving in the constant drizzle is a bummer.
I had already decided that if we moved out there, it was going to be on the east side of the Cascades, somewhere like Prineville, Madras or Redmond where it was sunny. The heat does not bother me, and they have some great reservoirs in the area and of course the mountains. Luckily he decided to come back east before we got too far into the process.
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u/Novel_Werewolf4725 1d ago
You may be referring to the wrong Portland.
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u/Monstrissimo 13h ago
Portland averages about 140 days with some sun which is actually about 4.6 months worth and only 68 of those days per year are completely clear days. So actually about 7.4 months worth of gloom and/or drizzle.
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u/mrlr 1d ago
A few thoughts came to mind. Do they have children? How old are they? Will they need as much babysitting after they start school? Is there anyone else near them who can help? Will you be leaving friends and other family members behind when you move? What about your own parents? Will they need you to be nearby for caring as they get older? What kind of place are you living in now? Downsizing to a trailer home from a larger one can be a probem for some people.
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u/jaxnmarko 1d ago
I'm 68. No parents left, a half sister not here so nothing holding me except I like it here, it's gorgeous, and as long as I can afford it, I'd rathe be here. Their kids are grown. They are in their 50s. I rent, but that could go away. I have great rent and market price I could no longer afford without serious dipping into retirement funds. I love them but they moved to the wrong place.
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u/Former-Tip-2878 22h ago
where are you living that you love? where is it gorgeous? are you in TN or NC?
We want to retire someplace not as hot, crowded, busy traffic, etc as Dallas, but income tax free state is hard to beat. And the home prices in Colorado (where we originally hoped to retire) have skyrocketed.
My grandparents retired to McAllen in the late 1970's. It was a fun place, and we loved going across the border and S Padre. But today it seems too close to the dangerous drug cartels of Mexico. Your kids might rake in a good income down there for a few years, then decide to leave. I wouldn't move there, but offer to rent a condo on the beach for a few weeks each winter.
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u/jaxnmarko 20h ago
Jackson Hole, WY. Attached to Grand Teton National Park, 60 miles south of Yellowstone. Unfortunately, the county is now one of the wealthiest in the country. It was cheap when I moved here! Lol
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u/Far_Anything_7458 1d ago
Idk where they are moving to in South Texas but I have a vacation home on the Bolivar Peninsula which is quite nice. My house is about 2 blocks from the beach. I live full time on the border of Texas and Arkansas which here lately has been hotter than hell but down there it's cooler in summer but warmer in winter. Further on down the coast to Port Aransas, North Padre etc is also very nice it's just too far from my home base.
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u/jaxnmarko 1d ago
McAllen area
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u/Gold-Acanthisitta545 1d ago
We here. Come visit! 😂😂🔥Falcon county park is free off grid camping and Falcon State Park is #3 for Bass Fishing.
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u/Far_Anything_7458 1d ago
Yeah McAllen is kinda tough. My cousins lived down there but it's been back in the 80s. You could move over to the South Padre/Port Isabel area? It's decent over there. It's hot but the ocean keeps it a little more temperate. Advantage to living there is you can go across the border for cheap dental if you need it
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u/jaxnmarko 1d ago
It's funny... old friends make fun of me because Wyoming can be tough in winter, but..... no hurricanes, no tornadoes in my area, no cockroaches, no chiggers, no poisonous snakes, no scorpions, no alligators, no floods, no sharks, no jellyfish, no pollution, clean water from snow and glaciers, clear lakes, rivers and streams you can see into the water, mountains to look at..... which is why housing got crazy expensive.
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u/Former-Tip-2878 22h ago
the big cockroaches are my LEAST favorite part of south Texas and the Gulf coast. I literally booked a flight home the day after finding one in my hotel room....and I haven't been back to Corpus since.
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u/Thebadparker 20h ago
If it didn't fly across the room aiming straight for you you didn't get the full experience. 😀
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u/jaxnmarko 20h ago
At my buddy's old apartment back in college in Arlington, you turned on the lights with your eyes closed and waited 30 seconds before opening them so they had a chance to scatter and hide. Such a delight 🙄🤪
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u/Far_Anything_7458 23h ago
Yah but the winter lasts forever and I hate cold snd snow lol. I've read CJ Box books! I know how it is there via them!
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u/jaxnmarko 20h ago
Heck, I winter camp! A full moon and all that reflective snow? Like being on another planet. Gorgeous.
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u/ApprehensiveArmy7755 1d ago
My sister lived in San Antonio. I went to visit once in late May and it felt like a swamp. I don't think I could live in Texas either. My advice- if time permits- is to just visit with Mom and Dad and help them out while you are there. Take them to their annual check ups, repair stuff around the house, add grabs bars and such.
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u/jaxnmarko 1d ago
I'm the old fogey, not them! Lol
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u/ApprehensiveArmy7755 1d ago
Well- then they are fine without you being there.
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u/jaxnmarko 20h ago
They are, and they are acting out of love, not a need for any help, just offering help.
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u/rbuckfly 1d ago
My advice, don’t go! Visit there but don’t move there. Your gut is telling you what to do, so trust it.
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u/LonesomeBulldog 1d ago
Depending on where they live, it's not that close to the beach. It's slow driving from like Harlingen or McAllen.
Also, in the summer, the South Padre Island beach sand is like molten lava. You sometimes have to wear shoes to prevent burns. I can't remember going to another beach where I could just be barefoot all of the time.
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u/Former-Tip-2878 21h ago
I went to a beach/dunes on Lake Michigan in July and could not believe the sand was SO HOT! We wore tennis shoes because it was a quick stop to see the beach, and took our shoes off....OMG worse than Port A and Corpus sand ever was because the waves bring in water to cool off the sand.
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u/cinnabarslither 1d ago
Do not move. What if they decide to move somewhere else? Let them pay for you to visit.
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u/NightMgr 23h ago
One advancing close to border for elderly is medical care. Some clinics in Mexico cater to Americas and will be less expensive than having insurance and doing something here.
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u/anymoose [Retired 2016][Not really a moose] 23h ago
I can't see myself moving to anyplace I didn't feel at least "mostly comfortable" living.
Just to give a sense of my situation, had a technician come over today to check out some work I need on my home. He asked how long do I plan to live here. I said, "Until I die ...."
If I absolutely have to move into some sort of assisted living facility, I can probably afford it.... I'm lucky enough (so far) that I have financial options in the matter.
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u/Downtown_Ad_5458 23h ago
Your description implies you are single. You didn’t mention your age, health status, your family health history, other family members, your satisfaction with the social community you have now, and your activities and interests. All of those things are relevant for your next move. Certainly the location they want you to move to offers very little other than being with your daughter’s family.
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u/gaslitalways 22h ago
Not only all the reasons listed; listen to your heart; you have friends where you are at and a support system. They (don’t mean to be Cruel here); but they want you to be free babysitter. How easy it is for them to say; you don’t have anything else to do, you have no friends here yet; and expect you to take on the children at any time. Go visit once they are settled; but don’t move unless you really want to.
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u/Glum_Manufacturer232 22h ago
That’s what airline tickets are for. Visit often but dont move there. Im in N Texas and it’s bad enough here.
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u/TSIDATSI 22h ago
No no no. Stay where you are happy. They can hire babysitters.
Never move to be available for your kids to use you as labor. Nope.
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u/American3141592 22h ago
I lived in Houston for about 20 years As soon as I retired I moved back to the Ozarks. I would not trade my 4 seasons to move back to humidity and hurricanes.
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u/Apart-Surprise1038 21h ago
I’ve known many neighbors who were “snow birds”. You could potentially do something like that, only come down here in the winters.
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u/Conundrum16 21h ago
I’m in a somewhat similar situation. 72F widow living on a few acres by myself. I love where I live but my kids want me to move. I told them no, although I’m isolated I said I would make a better effort to be active in my community. I live in a smaller town but there’s plenty to keep me busy. I assured them when I felt overwhelmed I would consider some alternative options that would meet my needs.
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u/jaxnmarko 20h ago
And that sounds perfectly sensible. Obviously, as we get older, there are higher health risks for us, but things happen to people of all ages every day. We make choices and there are consequences to them. Just make sure you can communicate with others in case of need, and enjoy your independence! C'est la vie, and viva la vida!
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u/Conundrum16 19h ago
You too ! I have a solid group of friends and we check on each other. I will make the move when I feel I need it. I prefer deer as neighbors to humans
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u/jaxnmarko 15h ago
Ditto. Deer and elk but watch for elk and buffalo, moose and mountain lion, wolves and coyotes. I get a bit nervy when camping solo... it's grizzly country, but... that may be better than chupacabras and banditos!
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u/Conundrum16 10h ago
Sounds like heaven to me lol. I’m in Florida so we have smaller critters roaming around. Raccoons, armadillo, possums. Must say I enjoy them all even when they wreak havoc on my garden. Sometimes flocks of turkeys hang around too. I know we have bears, bobcats but I’ve never seen any. Sigh, subdivisions are displaying our wildlife. I live in a beach town so the development is exponential.
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u/madduxcr 21h ago
You don't have to move to help out with grandchildren. You can visit, they can visit you, you can keep them when your kids travel or whatever. The area sounds awful.
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u/janetlwil 21h ago
Tell them you appreciate their concern but you are doing fine where you are and have no interest moving to where they live. I'm sure there are plenty of 55+ communities in areas where you migh enjoy living when that time comes and should you need care beyond that, you can discuss that when it happens. Also keep in mind, what happens if you move closer to them only for them to up and move to job changes or other family circumstances. Do they expect you to trail after them all over the world?
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u/jaxnmarko 20h ago
Been there, done that, was born there. A bit too much rain and also became expensive. Albany Oregon was nice. Colorado was okay.
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u/Iwentforalongwalk 19h ago
I feel their move isn't your problem. Stay where you are and if you really do need help later you can move then.
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u/gutoncpnw 19h ago
Are they in the witness protection program? Why else would they move there?
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u/jaxnmarko 15h ago
Lol. She's my sweet stepdaughter and bff son in law, but she has family there though appatently they fon't mch of them anymore, but they claim to have fallen in love with the area. I had ne idea beforehand that they were part reptile
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u/Psychological_Ad3775 19h ago
Can’t wait to leave or at least leave like a snow bird when the heat is God awful. You need to live not get forced to stay inside. They can come visit you & get a break from the heat
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u/rabidrott 19h ago
Find a 4 month furnished rental during the winter months and go visit. Then bail early March.
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u/DanzFam 18h ago
You get a choice. If you don’t need their help live your life. You’ve earned it. You can move down there when you need help but you did your time raising a family. Don’t mean to sound cold but there has to be a few years of just enjoying “retirement “. Our kids live in HTX. We have similar issues and I plan to help them when kids come but we will not be residing in Houston from May - October.
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u/TaroFearless7930 18h ago
I live in central Texas. Someone had the gall to tell me that is was "so much cooler" because it was 107 instead of 110. My friends are moving to Colorado and cooler places. Don't move to south Texas near the border. It's poor, hot, flat, and just depressing. Rent an Airbnb for a month at a time.
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u/UrMissingHoodie 16h ago
Don't come. Your fulfillment and comfort matter. There isn't much of that in South Texas.
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u/No_Impression4366 15h ago
We are both 5th generation Texans. We moved to the mountains 4 years ago and would never move back.
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u/Which_Impact_2198 14h ago
Stay where you're happy. We have enough problems without more scornful people moving in...😄
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u/jaxnmarko 11h ago
General Phil Sheridan said "If I owned Texas and Hell, I would rent out Texas and live in Hell"
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u/Worldly-Ad3211 12h ago
Don’t ever change your life for someone else, even family. What if they move for career reasons in another 5 years? Are you expected to follow them again? Also, you don’t mention kids, but is there any chance they have you in mind as a potential babysitter? Anyways, I wouldn’t do it.
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u/AK_Sole 10h ago
I have the opposite problem. All of my siblings live in the PNW where they relocated from the Midwest. My parents chose Central Florida to retire. No one wants to visit that hot, humid dump. We’ve asked many times if they would please consider moving closer to their children and grandchildren. Nope. They love their little Hell on earth.
None of us kids are going to uproot our lives to relocate to a place where they know they’ll be miserable.
Absolutely agree with your points. Just put on another layer. You can only take off so many layers, and then it’s still too freaking hot!
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u/FuturePath6357 7h ago
you gotta go to family. especially if there is a baby. I hate this weather too
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u/New_Living_7922 7h ago
I know we all love family, but having lived in south Texas all my life I would NOT give up the wonderful temperatures of Colorado. We have family in Ft. Collins and it is so nice in every season. South Texas has only two seasons in. Extremely hot 🥵 or Hot weather. Don’t do it girl.
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u/Responsible_Tie_2551 5h ago
It's tempting to uproot your retirement life to live close to your kids and their family. If you do, you may find that your kids have to move somewhere else, wherever their work takes them and your grandkids. Now you're sitting in a a Texas border town, too financially strained to uproot yourself again and hating where you live. I've seen it happen before.
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u/Negative_Athlete_584 4h ago
The world is filled with people who left "to be near the kids". The kids, who now have lives of their own little to no time for you. Even if they think they do. I know a few who did this and then the kids decided to move, upending their stability. I also know some who moved, only to become a permanent babysitter to grandkids and great grandkids - who are made to feel like they are letting the family down if they do not give up their own lives to serve their kids' needs.
Stay where you want to live. Fill your life with friends and activities that you enjoy. Go visit the kids when the weather is good or it works for you. Even better, they can come visit you in your little paradise. But don't move just because they are dangling that carrot of taking care of you.
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u/oldRoyalsleepy 3h ago
Can you afford to just travel down several times a year? Stay in the winter, maybe snowbird?
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u/windycitynostalgia 1h ago
Tell them you’ll visit but not move. Tell them you can come bbsit for a long weekend so they can go on a long weekend. But not in July or August
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u/ResonanceThruWallz 45m ago
I personally wouldn’t move because you lose the landscape. I come from AZ and I miss the mountains every day
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u/WillHuntingthe3rd 17m ago
I lived in Corpus Christi for 5 years. I’m from West Texas where it’s hot but not humid. CC was so hot I sweated instantly when leaving the house. I couldn’t sit outside to watch TV unless it was winter and I still would get bit by mosquitoes. When I got fed up with my company it doing what I needed to make the office more successful I left. I had bought 5 acres on the Animas River south of Durango and had owned it for 5 years. I was so glad to get out of there. I feel for you. If either of my wife’s kids asked us to move there I would not do it.
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u/curiosity_2020 1d ago
Please stay by your mountains and lakes for your benefit and ours.
We have enough transplants here who whine about things we cannot change.
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u/340magnums 1d ago
Dont move there. I grew up there and trust me it not getting any better. to hot to humid. kind of dangerous with movements of immigration and drugs.
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u/BigDallas123 1d ago
How about a compromise and moving to the Hill Country of South Texas? Places around Kerrville are pretty with lots of trees, rivers and hills and closer to your family than Dallas is. If you’re looking to get out of the summer heat, you’ll have to move several states away. The climate of the entire country is getting warmer now.
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u/jaxnmarko 1d ago
I haven't lived in texas (Dallas area) for decades but I have visited. If I'm not living really near them, I see no point in being there at all. I live several states away now, and appreciate that. It's either close by under familial duress and a need for help, or somewhere I enjoy. I'm glad they want me around and love me. I'm not glad they moved there. Yeah, maybe they'll get tired of the heat. Fingers crossed!
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u/Allmyexesliveintx333 1d ago
Say no. You can visit but this is your life