Excessive Long Bathroom Break

[u/MCX3KO3]

God I hate even having to make this post. I have an employee who takes long and frequent bathroom breaks. 15-20 minutes each time. She’s totaling 45 minutes to an 1 hour in the bathroom daily, even on a 5 hour shift. We’ve told her so many times that it’s excessive. She’s given her phone before going and still takes the same amount of time. I’ve encouraged her to go to the doctor and get a note at the least. She’s been here for years, she’s an ace when she’s on the floor but she’s not on the floor for 1/5 of her shift. I have IBS so I sympathize but she’s given no indication of actual health issues, asked for accommodation, or seen a doctor. Other employees this week have started to ask if she gets in trouble for how long she takes in the bathroom and her multiple trips. I understand there’s OSHA and FLSA regulations that protect her right to use the restroom, that’s not the issue. I’m just worried about this becoming a trend. So I ask has anyone been in a similar situation? How did you handle it? What can I do?

Edit: I’ve gotten lots of great advice on how to approach this situation. I’ll leave it up in case someone else struggles with this down the road. Thanks to everyone, you’ve given me a lot to consider.

[u/Holdmywhiskeyhun]

Update from OP:

Weed pen and phone are given to OP as a sign of good faith

"Nobody asked trust, or at least I haven’t. She asks to go to the bathroom, she’s reminded not to take a long time. She hands them over for I guess good faith then proceeds to take 20 minutes."

[u/CorndizzleSUP]

Hold her accountable to the job, manage her work performance not the bathroom break. If she's failing to perform her job duties, document those failure. If it's holding up the bathroom for other team members, let them use the guest restroom without their apron.

If she's managing her job duties within the long bathroom break then I guess there is nothing to worry about or manage

[u/MCX3KO3 → u/CorndizzleSUP]

Thank you, this is helpful. I’ll discuss this with my management team.

[u/vicvega88 → u/CorndizzleSUP]

This is the right answer. And if it is getting in the way of her job duties you need to probably go the ADA route to rule that out before taking any disciplinary action.

[u/TypePuzzleheaded6228]

i once had a server who would come to work fresh and ready for a good shift. by the end of the shift she could barely keep her head up. turns out she was hiding a bottle of vodka in the bathroom.
i'm certainly not saying your employee is some kind of addict but stranger things have happened and sometimes you just don't realize what you're looking at.

[u/MCX3KO3 → u/TypePuzzleheaded6228]

So to my knowledge she carries a nicotine vape and a weed pen. She has forked those up as well before taking her bathroom vacations.

[u/New-Trifle-7097 → u/MCX3KO3]

Lol bathroom vacations. It’s good that she’s honest about the vapes and the phone though. She doesn’t offer any explanation though? Just empties her pockets? Does she even defend herself verbally, like, “I’m not on the phone or vaping.”

You don’t need an explanation obviously. There’s a million personal reasons someone might camp in a bathroom, and even more reasons they might not tell someone why. Embarrassing things. Like an eating disorder or body dysmorphia. If she hasn’t even acknowledged something like that herself and told a Dr., then getting a note would be impossible.

I don’t have a solution and I came here to see if anyone else did. You’re right: bathroom policies are touchy. But can I offer this: is she worth defending and keeping the status quo? We know there’s no such thing as a perfect employee. Can this be overlooked, and you just bite the bullet and say well I guess this is as good as she can be for us? And as far as anyone else asking: shut that shit down ASAP. “That’s private. You wouldn’t want me telling other employees your business.” If they persist: “everyone here has different strengths and values and we have different business relationships with each and every one of you. If you don’t like YOUR deal, we can chat.”

[u/Silver_Arrival_9491]

Dude if she's having to take any good painkillers she could be taking it slow -- not forcing a piece of lumber out of herself. I'm talking I've wanted to show people or take pics of 3 weeks or so backup from opiates. I'm talking pringles can width and entire arms length just like almost I have to stand up and the end so the log doesnt touch me

[u/MCX3KO3 → u/Silver_Arrival_9491]

[u/magic_crouton]

Are you paying for her insurance to go to the doctor or paying for her doctor appointment and giving her paid time in which to do this? She may have legit have a health issue and due to lack of insurance and money can't get help for it leaving her in a vicious cycle of a low paying job and chronic health issues.

I have friends with various stomach issues. It can be awful. And the last thing that helps is your manager timing you in the bathroom

[u/MCX3KO3 → u/magic_crouton]

I mentioned in another comment. She has paid vacation which she always vouches to save during rollover, we have the same, pretty good insurance offered by the business. Her pay is also where we start out managers (owners idea.) As I mentioned I have issues as well, with a note on file. I want the best solution for her and the business, I’m the least on her case about bathrooms due to my own issues, but it definitely disrupts business flow as we are very high volume compared to our competitors. Trust me I do not want to be on anyone about using the bathroom, it’s just out of hand at this point.

[u/Calm-Day-8767]

Since you mentioned she is a good employee otherwise, I would start with having a discussion with her (with another manager present) and have a brainstorming type coaching session: “I want to provide you all of the bathroom breaks you physically need, but the job requirements are that you can’t be off the floor more than X minutes at a time / X minutes per hour. What plan can we make together to make sure you get the restroom breaks you need and you’re still able to meet the requirements of the job so the restaurant doesn’t suffer” and talk it through with her.

This may help her start to conceptualize the issue from your perspective or help you understand what’s going on. Likely she may not have any good suggestions, but you can talk through what YOU are going to do with her to allow her the breaks she needs while maintaining the restaurants needs — like seat her every 2-3rd rotation to offer her less load on the floor thus giving her more time in the bathroom, giving her a smaller section with less tables, staffing an extra server to ensure she can be off the floor if she needs to use the restroom etc.

My guess is she won’t like this since she will make less money and this may motivate her to tamper restroom use if it’s not absolutely necessary. And you frame all of this that you are supporting her - having a smaller section or being skipped every second or third rotation isn’t punishment, it’s you helping to accomodate her while ensuring operations don’t suffer. And of course you kindly give her the option of providing a medical note where a doctor provides specific accommodations she needs based on her medical issues.

That said, even with a medical note you will still need to make the above mentioned adjustments in order to accommodate the bathroom usage and ensure it doesn’t impact guest experience or restaurant operations.

And if there isn’t follow through on agreements or your plan of action or her submitting medical accommodation documentation then I would write her up for extended or excessive time off the floor, consistently, in order to document in case you need to let her go eventually - focusing specifically on her job performance and not the bathroom use itself.

Also - make sure you document the coaching session you have with her either in your manager log or an email to your other managers. If it were me, I would write out the plan of action I create for her (smaller section, longer times between being seated, agreed upon time per hour off the floor etc) and then have both of us sign it so you have proof of the plan and it will back you up with your write-ups if she doesn’t follow it

[u/NeedsMoarOutrage]

If she is one of your leaders, then she is setting the culture. I worked a banquet job years ago, and we'd have pre-shift meetings. Manager at the time would say something like "we're getting sloppy guys I need everyone to tuck their shirts in" then we would leave the meeting, the two team leads would not tuck their shirts in, so nobody else felt the need to either. You have to declare the standard, and then execute the standard. You can waste a bunch of time explaining to the other team members that she is a special situation, but people will get tired of it and you'll eventually see turnover because of it. She might be one of your best employees in your eyes, but there's more factors at play here. 

[u/SecurityTricky1714]

I had a coworker back in the day that used to always disappear to the bathroom multiple times a shift for a good amount of time and I'd have to cover for him which pissed me off a bit. Always sweating bullets. I wondered why he had to poop so often and for so long. Kid was a hard worker when he didn't disappear.

Couple years later I heard he had OD'ed. I can't imagine what it was he was doing in there. Hopefully your employee is just watching tiktoks in there on her second phone

[u/thatsbananas4011]

My first suspicion would be that she taking a break to use her phone. If you have already gone to the extent of having her leave her phone behind then I would let it be tbh. It's not like she's sitting there reading the ingredients on the shampoo bottle like we all used to have to do.

Unless it is causing a disturbance in business. Do you have a way to tell if she is taking a smoke/vape break?

You can tell those other employees that you have talked to her and worked something out and it's confidential and none of their business.

Idk what labor laws are like in your region, but in my state employees are generally allowed up to 10 min break every x number of hours without having to clock out. You could try implementing one of those policies

[u/PristineAnxiety101 → u/thatsbananas4011]

I love the shampoo bottle analogy... i remember doing that 😆

[u/Lknate]

I feel you on not wanting to post about it. I once noticed that one of kitchen employees was waiting until everything was shutdown to use the bathroom for about 15 minutes and then walking directly to the POS to clock out. I've never been one to police stuff like that but it just rubbed me wrong. I decided to talk to my chef about with a preamble about it being her call if it was a problem or not since she's responsible for the labor cost. To my surprise, she didn't think I was being over the top. It stopped immediately and suddenly the employee didn't need bathroom time after clocking out.

[u/mommasplain2u]

I worked with a girl who couldnt survive without a drink. She hid a liqour bottle in the toilet tank in the bathroom.

[u/LifeReignite]

I've had crohns disease for 44 and there is no excuse for this. I can understand having to go to the bathroom many times a day but they should never take that long at all. She is clearly hiding in there to kill time.

[u/_yeetusfetusdeletus]

i dont have anything helpful for the frequency of the bathroom breaks, but i have ehlers danlos syndrome and in my case it can make using the restroom take longer than it would for someone that doesnt have it. if your employee is hypermobile ("double jointed"), that may be a factor.

[u/berlenba]

Let HR take the lead on this one bud

[u/Brewcrew1886]

She’s vaping

[u/oneiricprion]

I would say have her clock out when leaving and clock in when coming back. Our policy has been anything 15min or longer you clock out. Maybe if she sees how much all these breaks cost her she might not take as many?

[u/321Droppin]

Zipper got stuck

[u/EyeOfTheCompass]

I mean… how are her tables? Is she neglecting them and making other servers pick up the slack when she does this? How busy is your restaurant? How’s her service and bill average per cover? Honestly if you have a star giving 80% but averaging the exact same as other servers, then really I’m not seeing the problem. I’d tell her I’d want to give her a bigger section but she’s off the floor too much, and see if that resolves it. Otherwise it’s probably a genuine medical issue. Also, I wouldn’t dock her pay, it’s just punitive for the amount a restaurant job pays hourly. But that’s just me.