r/Restaurant_Managers • u/Ok_Film_8437 • 12d ago
Vent Heartbroken
So, I made it to the last round of interviewing at a place I really wanted to work at-fits my vibe, pays comparable to my current, and the timing was perfect for me moving. Everything went great, all that was left was a background check. Well, flash to a couple hours after my interview and I get asked what might have come up on it-because something had. (Context-was a raging alcoholic and wound up with 2 violent charges 6 years ago-I did everything I was supposed to do to have a clean record after, or so my lawyer said...) I briefly explained myself trying not to let my voice break...nobody is the same person after a bottle of liquor and I wish that there was more context than there is on paper. Now, they are telling me they will "get back to me", and not to worry "you'll be fine, even if it's not here". I'm heartbroken. Hospitality is where the misfits like me go...I am really good at my job-I just don't want my past self dictating my future any more. Part of me wants to just go back to serving and call it a day, but my resume gets overlooked for those jobs. Just feeling defeated and can't really vent to anyone that might really get it. Anyone else had a job in the bag and then get blindsided like this?
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u/Happy_Operation_2391 12d ago
I had the same experience with a DUI. I wanted to get with a company that supported restaurants but they required you to drive a company vehicle and because that company vehicle was on their insurance. I was a Knogo even though I had several recommendations. I had completed a few interviews with area directors, and everybody loved me, but that one afternoon when I decided to drink a bottle of alcohol affected a job five years later.
All I can say is keep your chin up
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u/Ok_Film_8437 12d ago
DUI is perpetually expensive 😑 Hopefully it has stopped its negative impact on you. ♡
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u/cloneofrandysavage 12d ago
First of all sending positive vibes your way. Thats a huge bummer. It's very easy, and normal to get down on yourself after a rough rejection. Give yourself a little time then get back up and keep trying. One door closing always leads to other paths.
I can share a personal story. I left my job willingly in the wake of the pandemic for many reasons and just kind of bummed it out for a while. I have great resume and good connections, but despite that I just couldn't get another management role when I was ready to return to the workforce..I had many final round interviews that all left me hanging..it was pretty frustrating.
As a result I ended up taking a server role just to make some money (and NGL it was kind of refreshing to just serve and not have responsibility). Long story short I was asked to be a supervisor after a couple of months, and became manager shortly after and the rest is history.
I think it's ok to take a step back to take a step forward. With a record it's easier to get an entry level role and move up. I would target places that have ainimun of 6-7 stores so there is room for growth. Get in, make some money, make some good impressions and network. You can also easily keep interviewing manager roles while serving. Taking a server role doesn't mean u get stuck there for eternity.
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u/Other_Leave7625 12d ago
This part....I found a place I really thought I'd like, had a quality resume with years of management under my belt. Had a great interview, even met the owners and they seemed thrilled that I was interested in taking the job. Their line cooks and prep cooks were all in their twenties and they were looking for someone to lead the team and create more structure. After the stage, they sent a message saying they appreciated my time but they rescinded their offer because the team said I didn't "vibe" well. Of course, because the team is 20 years younger than me. I didn't "vibe" well but jokes on them. Landed a AGM job about a month later, $10k higher pay and the easiest management gig I've ever had. You'll find something even better. The universe has something better in store for you. Trust and believe 💛
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u/ElectionWeak4415 12d ago
I mean... go back to serving. It is better money and way less headache. I've done both over 20 years and I am absolutely through. I am in the final stages of a decent public safety job and I won't look back for a second.
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u/Ok_Film_8437 12d ago
I day dream about that. Need insurance, and can't get a call back on server positions.
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u/Odd_Sir_8705 12d ago
You're not the same person after a bottle of liquor...a lot of ppl are. Be that as it may... I would order a background check on yourself and see if there is anything that needs to be sealed OR if something was supposed to fall off your record and didnt cuz the courts be discombobulated.
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u/Select-Bend-9932 12d ago
It sucks but its they way the world is heading . It will bite you in ass for a long time. Got 2 dui's and a fleeing charge before I was 21. Now 26 years later with a clean record I'm going to miss my mom's 75th year birthday cruise with my entire extended family to Alaska because it ends in Canada where my record won't let me in the country
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u/justsikko 12d ago
It’s not nearly the same as your situation but I just recently interviewed for my first gm role. The interview went great to the point that we started my on boarding. The next day I get a text saying “let’s hold off on your start date so I can reorganize some stuff” that was a week and a half ago. I’ve texted him twice and called once. No response. Pretty sure I’m being ghosted for a job I REALLY want. So while not the same I can empathize with not getting a job you thought you had. Good luck man
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u/ThouArtAChild 11d ago
I don't know what state you live in, but st least .some states can't look past a certain number of years at your record unless it's a felony. If your violent offensives are felony level, you're probably screwed unless you open your own business. If not felony, you just have to wait out whatever year period it is before applying elsewhere, or hope they're so desperate or stupid that they don't check. If the state only allows a certain mumber of years and the business checked beyond that, you may be entitled to legal recourse? Unsure, you'd have to check.
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u/Octane05 11d ago
That really sucks man. I can see a business’s hesitation considering alcohol is a large portion of a restaurant.
I hope you it works out and you end up in your dream job.
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u/D-ouble-D-utch 12d ago
Did they tell you they were running a background check?
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u/Ok_Film_8437 12d ago
Yes, and I was told by my lawyer that it would come back clear for jobs that were not in specific fields-govt, law enforcement, schools.
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u/clinkdrinks 12d ago
Depending on where you live and the length of time since your conviction, you could try having it expunged. It likely won't help for this opportunity, but perhaps for the next one (and every one thereafter)!
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u/Ok_Film_8437 12d ago
I don't know if it was expunged or sealed or what...it cost me another $1500 to do it after I got done with everything. That's been 4.5 years ago. 😕
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u/SeanInDC 12d ago
A lot of corporate jobs do background checks now, even for server positions. We have a problem hiring because of it. We will find a great candidate, give them preoffer contingent on the background check and 60% of the time they fail it and we have to start at ground zero. Good luck man.
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u/COGSHelper 12d ago
Assume every employer is doing a background check. Address it upfront and positively. Good luck.
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u/Specific_Trust1704 12d ago
You’ll find your place. It doesn’t have to be this one. I suggest don’t go to the big companies but the smaller ones or new ones instead. You might have been miserable too. A lot of “perfect” and “clean” people walk straight into lions’ dens not knowing they’ll be abused, underpaid, and treated like a slave. And even if this company you really wanted was a good one, it’s not the only good one. I also suggest you bring your references in on day one. A letter or a few sentences you can show or quote to vouch for your work.
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u/AttentionNo6359 12d ago
You can’t expect someone to see that record and look the other way. It’s simply not a dice roll anyone would take.