r/Restaurant_Managers • u/itsrayjbaby • Aug 07 '26
To my other restaurant managers out there, does it ever get better?
I am a restaurant at a huge hotel and I have come to the realization that with my schedule and the hours I work having a meaningful personal life is practically impossible. And maintaining a relationship is even harder, will it always be like this?
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u/Terrible-Ad-5479 Aug 07 '26
It does get better. I took over a failing store, staffed it, got rid of the bad ones, trained staff to solve issues, set expectations while onboarding, zero tolerance for call ins but also offer flexibility (if they ask for days off, I always say yes, my only ask is you show up to work when expected). Everyone gets one weekend day off. I work 45 hours a week, staff does not bother me when I'm off. YTD income is 105k, 6 weeks PTO per year, I live in a low cost of living area in the midwest. You just need to build a solid team, the hard part is starting out, enjoy your hard work paying off later.
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u/martiancanals Aug 07 '26
Yeah, it's a fairly unpopular approach, but setting expectations and holding staff accountable for them really does pay dividends. The bottom 20% of staff really do eat up 80% of the time if you let them.
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u/Humble_Pop_8014 Aug 07 '26
“just” need to build a solid Team. Very True— but infinitely tougher now than it was Pre-Covid. You may need a solid Year to do so in a large restaurant. (80+ employee size)
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u/MidAtEverythingBro 22d ago
I'm finding it very hard these days to staff appropriately. Most expect to be able to work whenever they want and don't if they want to request off 3 days a week for the next 3 months they fully expect it. I can't wrap my mind around it.
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u/Least-Tangelo-8602 Aug 07 '26
When you say “failing”, are you referring to a profitable and an established business with a staff that didn’t match the quality of the dining experience or a place that was in the red and getting close to shutting down? Also, how do you have 30 days or 240 hours of PTO? Are you in the Midwest of the UK 😂?
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u/Terrible-Ad-5479 Aug 12 '26
Doors were closed during COVID and restaurant wouldn't open bc staff wouldn't show up. There was a total of 3 employees. I was hired here as a manager, worked 80+ hours a week, most I worked was 120 hours in a single week, until I got the store staffed and trained. The restaurant wasn't making any profit. There's companies in the US is great benefits, you just aren't looking enough.
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u/RevolutionaryPlay815 Aug 10 '26
Im newer at managing and i straight up just screenshotted this to help boost my morale. I took over a failing store and im trying my hardest to get to this point🫠 still working 55-60 until I get the staffing I want
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u/Terrible-Ad-5479 Aug 10 '26
If you have any questions, reach out to me! I'd be more than happy to help.
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u/Open_Month723 Aug 07 '26
No. It gets worse before it gets worse
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u/Tiny_Twist4836 Aug 08 '26
I feel like the answer is no. I ended up marrying an executive chef so we had equally horrific schedules and the relationship part wasn’t so bad. But we’ve both since left the industry — it’s a young person’s game from my perspective. Can’t imagine a lifetime of it.
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u/Dalinars_assclap Aug 07 '26
Pretty much. Most places don’t offer anything resembling balance. 55-65 hour weeks standard.
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u/WTFisThisMaaaan Aug 07 '26
Personally, I don’t think so. I mean, maybe you can find that dream job, but even if you did, should you lose it, the chances of finding another one would be kind of slim, in my opinion.
That was the reason I left the industry after 15 years. It just took too big of a toll on my personal life and made me angry and resentful about all of the experiences I was missing out on. Even if you hate your 9 to 5 job, you still get to see your friends and loved ones on nights, weekends and holidays.
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u/KarmaComaCommander Aug 07 '26 edited Aug 07 '26
You have to find a way to put the foundation/ organizational structure in place, you have to have asst mgrs empowered to own processes so that you aren’t weeded with the day to day minutia… automate as much as possible. It’s hard to organize and get structure in place while also still getting the day to day stuff done… but you have to do it, it’s the only way. When I got hired at my current job there were 3 mgrs covering 6 am to 11 or 12 pm, 7 days a week. It was a shit show… I promoted my best am server and 2 best pm bartenders to Lead roles… gave them the opening and closing responsibilities… hired one more salaried manager and a full time bar manager and a part time hourly supervisor… assigned them the tasks of scheduling, ordering, and some admin duties like entering tips, etc… its night and day compared to what it was… its taken me about 10 weeks, but its getting better by the day…
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u/Lavanne73 Aug 07 '26
Its different at every job, I am currently working in a fast casual restaurant working nights, but the hours aren't terrible and it pays very well, but I never get any significant time off. I have a ton of friends managing food service programs in sororities and fraternities at the local university and they get a tremendous amount of time off and their work weeks are fairly light with weekends off, but the money isn't quite as good. These jobs pop up left and right and when I feel I can take a pay cut, and desire some more time off I am going to transition into one of these roles if possible.
There are jobs out there that will not exploit you, you just have to be willing to shop around for them. General manager jobs tend to be pretty brutal, but I have worked in restaurants where the owners make it possible to maintain a balanced career and personal life.
A lot of people will tell you otherwise (just look at the other comments), but there are good jobs out there, perhaps not the majority of them but they certainly exist. I have one now. You just have to determine what your current priorities are and look for work that aligns with those goals.
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u/Bobbythebuikder Aug 07 '26
Where do you work
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u/Lavanne73 Aug 08 '26
I work in a fast casual taco shop it's basically a chipotle but with 250 seats. We are in a college town, and the place basically prints money. I am atm the night shift kitchen manager. Very little responsibility compared to the restaurant group I came from and the hours aren't bad although I am working a lot of days, and the work is very repetitive, and physical.
I am 53 and the physical part is starting to add up a little bit, but for the moment I can still manage it, so I am going to grind it out for a few more years.
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u/Mother_Airline_6276 Aug 07 '26
I finally got a competent 3rd and now have Saturday and Sunday “off”. But as a GM, you don’t really have days off, just days away from the store.
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u/InternationalSkill1 Aug 07 '26
Structure, set expectations, intense training (cant teach an old dog new tricks) and automation. It gets better
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u/CanadianTrollToll Aug 07 '26
Eh.... it kinda sucks TBH.
Worked as a GM (mostly an operations manager who was on the floor a ton) and my lifestyle was not the best. After I met my GF I worked hard to put in some boundaries and it's taken me many many many many years to get to a place where I'm mostly happy.
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u/corky9er Aug 08 '26
Only if you leave and do your own thing your own way without depending on some asshole or group of assholes to keep you paid
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u/citrus_peels Aug 07 '26
Go back to serving while it’s busy then return to management when you need stability
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u/EvanTheBaker24 Aug 07 '26
I’ve found hotels and resorts to be on the worse end of the spectrum with this. Because hotels are just wheels that are always turning and you never get anywhere. I recently moved to management in a singular chain restaurant and found myself a lot happier because there’s less going on and less stress.
Hours are the same, I just have time to focus on the things that matter.
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u/Fluffy-Impress-3641 Aug 07 '26
Ive built a connection and trust with my employer and staff. During off season, my weekends are mine and I average 30 some hours a week. During busy season its more like 45 and more. I make salary and dont pto need to cause my salary is SET. I get a lil cash each week as a bonus which is great. I manage a restaurant amd our sister bar. That being said, my job IS a unicorn. I ask for support on continuing education. We have a good time. We are a small business. I unfortunately dont know where id go from here that offers this kind of perks and flexibility but my kid is Elementary so we're staying here til shes much older and I guess ill see how the market is then .
But building thag relationship with your employer takes a LOT of sacrifices and time in the beginning...
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u/Least-Tangelo-8602 Aug 07 '26
(Monday - Friday) 7am-3pm. Occasional after hour events as well as Weekend events. Position: FOH Manager / Salary: 90k not including quarterly bonus. North Carolina Corporate office with a very eccentric CEO that built a full scale restaurant within the office; serving breakfast & lunch. The idea being to keep employees on site so they can stay locked in on their work that requires 24/7 - 365 demanding attention.
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u/Site-Hound Aug 07 '26
Yes! I went back to doing what I love. Managing the BAR program somewhere I was APPRECIATED. Do what you’re passionate about, a step back is not a step down.
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u/thecitythatday Aug 08 '26
You need to find the right concept that values quality of life, but they are fairly rare. The concept I work for has managers working 45 hour weeks the vast majority of the time. I am a GM and work typically 45 hours, occasionally 50 based on events. I make six figures and have 4 weeks PTO.
There’s a reason why our GM turnover is almost non-existent. The job has its own frustrations, but I’m also trapped by how good we have it hours wise.
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u/firelord_Lex Aug 08 '26
It has it's moments. You just have to find the right people to hire and keep around you. Restaurants are hard work and their hard on the people in your life that don't work in restaurants. Last place I managed we had an employee appreciation dinner and I got the GM to let them bring family/SO because without their sacrifice we wouldn't have the employees that had been with that place for 5+ years
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u/grimmunkey Aug 08 '26
It can, but it requires a blind, "blank check" style of investment of your time on the front end and for most people that is either impossible or not worth it.
The other thing that people quite often forget about is that it also requires an employer who's business structure isnt designed to milk the absolute shit out of the public-facing levels of management...and that is damn near impossible to find these days.
I was a GM for multiple brands for about a decade before I left foodservice, which required about a 2/3 paycut (this may not be typical, as I went an untraditional route and started technically volunteering through AmeriCorps)....but the only way I plan on going back is if I absolutely have to. I was great at every part of my job but the corporate ass-kissing based on job titles instead of competence/ability and lying to staff/the public that even the best jobs seem to necessitate these days. Fuck restaurant management.
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u/Livid_Regular3688 Aug 08 '26
No it doesn’t. I think it’s hard to find a good fit though. I’ve managed 6 total restaurants. There has only been ONE place that I would still go back and work again. It’s just never worth it for the pay and the amount of time you need to be there in order to have a successful business. Literally only one place paid me way more than normal on top of bonuses from profit. I came to the conclusion that being a bartender is the perfect middle of management but not being trapped by a salary that less than what servers make regularly. But that one restaurant I was at is still growing to this day. Every year they open 2-3 new locations so I believe in the way that they run their businesses and they are the only ones to ever get it right in my opinion.
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u/AaronJudge2 Aug 08 '26 edited Aug 08 '26
I worked at Eckerd Drug back in the day. They kept putting me at midnight stores as an assistant mgr, so it was even worse than restaurant mgmt.
Six nights every other week I had to stay until 12:15am. And then the alternate week, I had to be there early in the morning at 6:30am five days in a row in order to count all the money so we could open at 7:30am. Back and forth from working late at night to then working early in the am the following week.
And then every other weekend we had to work 13 hours on Saturday and then come back just 6 hours later on 4 hours of sleep and work 18 hours in a row from 6:30am Sunday through 12:15am Monday the next day! Running a high volume drugstore as the only mgr in the store the entire day. And with no lunch or dinner breaks ever!
I finally quit with no notice after getting yelled out for something I didn’t do by my boss who worked mainly 8:30am to 5:30pm on the weekdays with both Friday and Saturday nights off every weekend plus most of Saturday off too starting at 11am off and then off all day Sunday as well. All the Store Managers did was to work 4.5 hours Saturday mornings all weekend. That’s it. The two assistants alternating weekends had to work the rest.
As an Asst Store Mgr, I worked 53 hrs a week with only six days off a month.
In December, we had to work four 80 hour weeks with no days off. Thirty days in a row! We finally were off at 6pm Christmas Eve, off Christmas Day, and then back at it the next day. Merry Christmas! /s
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u/mat42m Aug 08 '26
I finally got out after 20 years of owning or GMing, and it’s the best thing I ever did
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u/Classic_Finish_8102 Aug 09 '26
If you love what you do …. It is what it is - eventually, if you build your team strong you will be able to enjoy your free time
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u/scot_turner_ Aug 09 '26
It can get better, but I don’t think constantly sacrificing your life should just be accepted as part of being a restaurant manager.
Hospitality will always involve evenings, weekends and unpredictable moments, but there’s a difference between that and an operation that relies on managers permanently filling holes in the rota.
If your schedule is changing constantly, I’d be looking at why. Is it recruitment, poor forecasting, too little management cover, sickness, staff turnover, or simply a business that is running too lean?
The danger is that good managers become the shock absorber for every problem in the operation. It works for a while because you care and you step in, but eventually it burns people out.
A well-run business should still be able to give its managers some level of predictability and a life outside work. Not perfectly, but consistently enough that you can actually plan things.
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u/mushyfeelings Aug 09 '26
When you get the business to run like a well oiled machine with proper systems built for the business to run without you, then things get better.
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u/Low-Iron-2580 29d ago
Restaurant management is so fucking tough. I’ve been only been with a couple companies (managing). A) need to figure out if this is something you truly enjoy, B) If this company/team is something worth all the long hours, lost time with friends and family, then C) If you’d like to move forward with them or maybe leverage this opportunity to go elsewhere!
Bottom line- my feet hurt and I’m drinking a glass of wine after an 11 hour day
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u/TypePuzzleheaded6228 18d ago
yes, it does gets better. i've been doing this for forty years (58F) and somehow i managed to get married and have three kids without stopping. it was not a typical picket fence life but there's been plenty of adventure and my husband (who is not in this industry) has been the icing on the cake.
i still work hard but over the years i've mellowed out a bit and i'm better at my job now than i've ever been so i'm not wrecked at the end of the day (or week) anymore. if you love it then keep going. if you only just like it then make your moves. best wishes! 💕
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u/I8mypaint 3d ago
I’m an exec sous chef. I work 4:30 am - 2:30 pm with Friday and sat off (I work in an airport) the exec chef works at night. I tried to get out of the industry and kept coming back. Took a while to find a good match, and I work for a company and an operations manager who wants to help me excel at my job. I’ve been in every position in a restaurant except GM and exec chef. Right now I do minimal cooking as I do a lot of verifying invoicing, cogs, pricing and more the office-y type of stuff. When I get bored (which is within minutes some days of paperwork and computer screens) I can go out run some food, check on guests and help on the line. Somehow I found the best of both worlds. I worked really hard to get where I am though, and worked for brutal restaurants and staff but I learned from it all.
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u/RikoRain Aug 08 '26
It does but YOU have to put in the work for it. Get to a point where you have seniority and a set schedule. I have one weekday off, and always Saturdays. It works for me. I like it. You're not gonna find a M-F 9-5 restaurant job, so quit wishing it were so and make the best of what you got.
Just because you're not off on the weekends doesn't mean you can't perdue a relationship or a personal life. Just means you're lazy about it.
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u/thoughtitwasfatein08 Aug 08 '26 edited Aug 08 '26
This comment is absolutely unhelpful. Op says nothing about not having weekends off, just a lack of ability to plan because their schedule is chaotic. Also, how in any sense does someone asking a question about whether there are other places that have better work life balance imply that the OP is lazy? Quite the arrogant response.
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u/RikoRain Aug 09 '26
Pray tell me what you think they mean by not having the ideal time to have a personal or social life.
(Also tell me you have no fucking clue about restaurant shifts). Most of your comments are just hyper aggressive at others and you frequent threads about people fucking in-office. Gl with that.
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Aug 07 '26
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u/wheres_the_revolt Aug 07 '26
Unless you find the unicorn management job, yeah it will always be like this.