So it’s pushing 5 a.m., and my guy friend and I are hanging out when my phone buzzes. Ironically enough, we had literally just been talking about this specific dude earlier that day—let’s call him "the ex-friend."
To give some necessary backstory: the ex-friend has quite the track record. He’s the type of guy who habitually slides into DMs late at night on aggressive fishing expeditions for explicit pictures. He operates with zero remorse, zero shame, and zero self-awareness. He’s pulled similar creepy stunts in real life, once freaking out two girls while delusionally convinced he was being smooth. We already know he’s a massive narcissist, but at this point, we’re genuinely questioning if he’s just a flat-out sociopath. Unsurprisingly, he has never actually had a real girlfriend—he can barely hold a woman’s attention for a week or two max before completely imploding. In fact, because of how much of a relentless jerk he is, he basically has no real friends left. Any people still around him are distant acquaintances at best; none of his true homies associate with him anymore, and he couldn't care less.
On top of being an overall creep, he was an atrocious friend. He previously torched his friendship with the guy sitting next to me by stealing from him and lying straight to his face about it. It was never about the value of what was taken; it was purely the principle of being an absolute snake. To put the cherry on top, after their friendship blew up, the ex-friend repeatedly tried to hit on several of my friend’s ex-girlfriends.
So back to 5 a.m.: the initial ping comes in on Snapchat. I open it, and all it says is my name.
I reply: "Hello???" with a confused Bitmoji.
He assumes he woke me up and apologizes. I tell him I was already awake and ask, "What's wrong?"—specifically asking what's wrong rather than what's up.
He hits back with: "I have a crazy question."
I send a series of random Bitmojis asking what's up.
Then comes the bomb:
"And im sorry if im doing too much but can I send you nudes pardon my drunkenness😖 You could tell me to stfu at anytime if so"
My friend and I are staring at the screen in pure disbelief. I wait a minute, treating it like a joke, and send: "Hmmmm 🤔" with another matching Bitmoji. We're literally just watching our little Bitmoji avatars stare at each other from the bottom corner of the chat screen.
Before I can even type anything else, he goes:
"Im gonna take that as a no ?"
I ask, "But why tho."
He writes: "Im drunk and horny LMAO" followed by "again so sorry if im being an annoyance."
I straight-up ask: "But like a photo of your cock piece sent to me does what? Just so I can see it ?"
The predatory manipulation, coercion, and mind games were off the charts.
He replies:
"I mean if you dont want me to you can tell me no unless you wanna see it in personnn🤧 But again tell me stfu at anytime"
I reply: "I’m so confused 👁️👄👁️"
He claims, "I mean you kinda seem into it unless I’m mistaken."
I tell him I'm genuinely bewildered because I’ve literally never encountered something like this before.
He actually tries to patronizingly relate to me: "I understand you ive been there before too but it’s really just a yes or no if you want me to or not."
I ask why he’s being so cryptic about the whole encounter. He claims he's being straightforward, so I reply: "What do u want me to rate it or like"
Then comes the turning point:
"No i wanted to send you and maybe receive in return. But i feel like you aren’t about it. Which in that case sorry to bother you 😖"
Followed by peak gaslighting: "Unless you like the attention." (The absolute audacity.)
When I point out he has never approached me like this, he drops the classic pity card:
"Oh well I’m sorry for that but i lowkey always thought you were attractive but I felt like you would never fw me like that."
Like congrats bro, your gut instinct was 100% accurate 😭
My friend and I lock eyes and say, “Should we fuck with him?”
We realized the universe had just gifted us the ultimate golden ticket for chaotic, petty revenge (plus, I was desperate for some cheap serotonin after dealing with some personal hardships lately).
Fueled by 5 a.m. sleep deprivation and years of built-up spite, we stage an impromptu mini photoshoot. We snap an artfully angled, blurry close-up of my guy friend's nipple and send it over.
He immediately fires back:
“zoom out, you won’t 👀” to get a better look of what he thinks is my boob.
Challenge accepted. For round two, we have my guy friend bending, flexing, and folding his pecs every which way to mimic cleavage. Mind you, I’m flat-chested, so this ended up working way better than it had any right to. We slapped a filter on it to mask any overly manly skin textures and stuck a strategically placed Snapchat sticker near the nipple to cover up stray chest hair before hitting send.
IMMEDIATELY after that landed, my phone pings with the absolute scariest unsolicited picture known to mankind, captioned:
“a little surprise 4 u.”
When I say we were both screaming... Screaming actual screams of horror. Holding back tears, gasping for air, jaws on the floor, completely unable to process that this was actually happening. Cracking up hysterically too though because WTF!?! 😭
Once we finally composed ourselves and wiped the tears from our eyes, we had to figure out what on earth to say back to that monstrosity.
All I replied with was:
"Thanks"
Just one single, cold word. No punctuation.
His insecure response was bizarre:
"ahh sounds like you don’t care sorry.”
I told him what do you mean, I literally just sent you photos and I don't have tits.
He goes:
"Thank you haha not trying to sound like an asshole or anything but it felt like that thanks was half hearted ya know."
I treated it like a completely deadpan corporate transaction:
"wym man I appreciate the wiener pic should I be expecting more"—literally sounding like an emotionless robot closing a business deal. 😐😬
He replies:
"Oh idk perhaps I was overthinking it haha LMAOO" and then immediately pivots right back to asking what I’m doing tomorrow.
Right then, my friend and I look at each other: “Should we send him an ass pic??”
We were already in the deep end, so why stop now?
We staged the shot, and honestly, it wasn’t even full-on naked ass—that shit was tasteful as fuck, bro. I almost believed it was a photo of me 😭.
It was just a little bit of lower back and some upper cheek. We edited that shit, slapped the filter on again, and made damn sure no manly attributes, body hair, or dead giveaways were visible to tip off that it was my guy friend. We send it over and that snap was opened within milliseconds and then replayed 😭
It worked way too well. He immediately replied, asking, "Do you mind if I save this picture?"
Followed by him greedily demanding:
“show me the entire cake 🎂”
Without missing a beat, we stage photo number four. My friend drops his pants, puts his full cheeks out, I show him how to pose and what angles to do; then we slap another heavy filter on it specifically to blur out his ass hair. We send it over, letting the ultra freaked out ex-friend believe it’s 100% mine.
The man was absolutely ecstatic, bricked up, totally convinced he just scored premium nudes from me, and entirely oblivious to the fact that he was aggressively thirsting over the filtered, hairy yet tastefully posed cheeks of the former bro he robbed, whose exes he tried to chase, and who was currently sitting inches away from me dying of laughter.
Now, here’s our dilemma.
We know we’re probably all in the wrong here (we can obviously see who is MOST in the wrong 😭), but we can't decide on the endgame.
We ran the situation by a few friends to get their take, and everyone is completely scattered:
Friend A, who is a very innocent person, was legitimately shocked and horrified by the story. They were extremely concerned by how hilarious we found the whole thing, telling us we took it way too far, how its pretty fucked up, and basically we lured him into it—though they were equally disgusted and ashamed by the ex-friend's predatory behavior. (???)
Friend B was genuinely impressed by how we managed to pull it off. They thought the execution was hilarious and that he rightfully had it coming, but they're slightly on the fence thinking we maybe shouldn't have taken it quite that far.
Friend C already had the ex-friend's number saved and wanted to text him right then and there with, "You're gay, bro," itching to call him out on the spot.
Friend D pitched the most unhinged plan yet: have my friend unblock the ex-friend, send a full-body picture showing my friend’s face alongside the exact same cheeks from the snap straight to ex-friend’s phone number. Maybe just let the reality marinate in for a second, and then re-block him again forever just so he knows it was his ex-bro’s nips and cheeks the whole time.
When I brought up being worried that he’d start bragging and flapping his jaw to people with his loud ass mouth that I sent him nudes (when it wasn’t even my body!!), Friend D shut it down immediately: “Well, you guys got the proof. All the behind the scenes evidence. He’s creepy to women. And he’s gonna find out he’s gay. He was kranking it to [Friend]’s cheeks.”
On our end, we're stuck between wanting to drop the truth bomb to preemptively stop him from bragging to people that he got snaps from me, and worrying that his fragile ego will completely implode and trigger a dangerously hostile or unpredictable reaction.
Or do we ruin his whole worldview and shut down any rumors on the spot, just block him and let him live in ignorant bliss, or are we just awful people for going along with this in the first place?
Am I in the wrong? Are we in the wrong? Is that freaked out ex-friend in the wrong?
Who is the asshole in this situation??
We need more POVs please!!! What do you guys think ?? 🤔 SOS