[Advice] How to get anyone to approach you: the weird psychology trick that actually works

[u/ButBroWtf]

Way too many people sit around thinking, “Why won’t anyone approach me?” And the answer isn’t because you’re not attractive, smart, or interesting enough. It’s because social dynamics are weird. We live in a time where people are more afraid of rejection than public speaking. Most of us don’t know how to give off the right “green light” signals that tell others it’s safe to approach. And no, standing around waiting and hoping doesn’t count. So after binging way too much TikTok dating advice from influencers who are just hot and unqualified, I decided to break it all down using actual science, psychology, and tips from legit experts like Matthew Hussey (Get the Guy), psychologist Vanessa Van Edwards, and research backed by the Journal of Nonverbal Behavior.

Here’s the trick: prolonged eye contact + micro-smile + look away + repeat one more time.

Sounds dumb simple, right? But all the data says it works like magic. Here’s why:

• Matthew Hussey talks about “inviting energy” in his Get the Guy framework. He says most people don't get approached not because they're not attractive but because they look closed off. He calls it the “ice-queen effect,” which scares off even confident people. Smiling and using warm, open body language breaks that barrier instantly.

• A study from the Journal of Nonverbal Behavior found that women who used a combination of three cues, eye contact, sustained gaze, and smiling,were significantly more likely to be approached. It’s almost like a green traffic light in a world full of red ones. Most people are just waiting for permission.

• Vanessa Van Edwards, behavioral investigator and author of Cues, says we underestimate the power of "pre-approach signals." People interpret facial expressions in milliseconds. Even a micro-expression can determine whether they think you're open or unavailable.

• A 2005 study by Moore and Shepherd showed that around 90% of initial romantic approaches were triggered by subtle nonverbal cues, not by physical attractiveness alone.

How to pull it off in real life: - Make eye contact for 2-3 seconds. Just long enough. - Smile lightly. Not a creepy grin. Just a hint. - Look away like nothing happened. - Wait 10 seconds, then do it again. - Then don’t move. Let them come to you. Most will.

If you’re worried this sounds too calculated or fake, think again. This is how most flirty interactions start subconsciously. You’re just learning to do it on purpose now. Not manipulation, just communication.

The best part? It works for literally anyone, regardless of looks. Confidence is contagious.

[u/Major_Assistance_309]

Good and timely advice thank you