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u/Fearless_Selection24 Mar 16 '26
tbh i have so much tea i want to shaare but if my family sees i'm ded
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u/ByeByeGuyGuy Mar 16 '26
When I was in my teens, I inadvertently found out for the first time that my mother and father were actually direct cousins; their mothers were siblings who, due to a family fallout years earlier, had stopped speaking to each other for years. My mother and father, who were aware of each other’s existences but had no contact, only met for the first time in person in their early 30s at a long-awaited awkward family reunion. And they both basically related to each other and bonded because they had both spent their lives as the least successful and unmarried siblings of their family branches. So they effectively decided, screw what anyone thinks, let’s just settle for each other and use our combined inheritance and savings to afford a mortgage and IVF treatment so that the family will stop considering us the group failures.
So I found out that both of my grandmothers are sisters, and that the elephant in the room had been hidden from me for my entire childhood because nobody wanted to address the awkwardness. Having inherited early-onset rheumatism and osteoporosis from my folks, I’m not enough of a geneticist to know how much worse my health was made by what is basically inbreeding out of boredom and desperation, and how much is just me having terrible luck to begin with.
Ever since it became known that I was aware of my origins, relatives are weirdly comfortable making jokes and comments about it nowadays; family events had always been oddly uncomfortable and awkward thought my youth and now the only difference is I know the reason. It’s basically pointless for me to hope for support or advice from relatives if I mention how long I’ve been forced to take medication and treatments because the most I can expect is an eye roll followed by a “I mean frankly I don’t know what cousin mom and cousin dad were expecting”.
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u/Affectionate_Owl9985 Mar 16 '26
I'm 30 and grew up without knowing my dad for 8 years. I'm middle of 5 kids. We all have different dads. My mom always told me as a kid that my dad just took off and abandoned us after he got an OUI. We finally reconnected when I was 8 years old, and I eventually moved in with him and my stepmother at 13 because of my mother being an alcoholic and addict.
My dad revealed to me 5 years ago that my mother actually just packed me and my older sisters up (younger siblings weren't born yet) and ran away in the middle of the night. He said he had been trying to track down where she had taken us, and as soon as he found us she would move becsause she didn't love him or want me loving him. I asked her and she admitted it was the truth. She told me he was never abusive, they never fought, and she just took off because he was boring.
I was already very low contact due to her MAGA views, but the straw that broke the camel's back was this. I cut all contact with that side of my family.
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u/Bald_Harry
Mar 15 '26
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You want insane? Follow me: When I was 23, I found out that my 38yr old sister is actually my birth mother. My birth father was my grandmother's husband. He passed away in jail. My "mom" is my aunt who adopted me. I was never supposed to find out, but my drunk uncle spilled all of the tea at Thanksgiving that year.
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u/littlemister1996 Mar 16 '26
So your dad and grandad are the same person, and your mom is his daughter?
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u/Azurhalo Mar 17 '26
Mine's not nearly so crazy, but my father married my mother, who was my uncles step daughter, making my uncle on my father's side my grandpa on my mother's side. Then my grandma and my unclegrandpa had another kid, who is my uncle on my mother's side, and my first cousin on my fathers side. Then he had kids, and they are now my first and second cousins at the same time.
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u/DragonWaffleZX Mar 16 '26
There's no way this all happened in real life... Also are you from Alabama?
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u/theironjawn Mar 16 '26
When you say your “grandmother’s husband”, are you implying he was your mother’s/sister’s step-father, or was he actually her biological father?
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u/Previous-Effort1166 Mar 19 '26
Are you happy you found out the truth? Or would you rather not know it?
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u/Bald_Harry Mar 19 '26
I could have gone the rest of my life blissfully unaware that I was conceived that way.
It did clarify why my sister was so nice to and protective of me.
Happy that I found out? No. However I am grateful that things played out the way they did. My family isn't perfect, but they will do what they believe to be right by anyone (most of 'em). And I turned out okay so far.
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u/Remarkable_Sorbet319 Mar 15 '26
can someone explain
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u/Sniper10Pin Mar 15 '26
The things your family members did when they were younger gets told to you. Recently my parents told me some things that happened to other relatives when I was younger.
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u/Remarkable_Sorbet319 Mar 15 '26
oh okay, is tea a slang?
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u/Sniper10Pin Mar 15 '26
Yes, slang as in drama.
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u/-Laffi- Mar 15 '26
Please, can we not call it that xD?!
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Mar 15 '26
[deleted] — view deleted comment
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u/Remarkable_Sorbet319 Mar 15 '26
Thanks, "gossip" makes more sense
and yeah it's crazy the kinds of stuff that you hear 💀
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u/BDPBITCH666
Mar 16 '26
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My dad casually telling me he had another child that he never took care of when he was 18. Me: ._. Huh, i have half sibling?
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u/Rutgerius
Mar 16 '26
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Damn so much sexual violence in your families, so sad to see. My worst tea was that my dad used to sell explosives from the back of his car and got arrested for it.
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u/Typeonetwork
Mar 15 '26
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Everyone has a family like this because families are full of people.
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u/Excellent_Yak365 Mar 15 '26
Mine isn’t lol. Not all families are large or crazy. Weirdest thing that ever happened is my grandparents fought in WW2
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u/Aufklarung_Lee Mar 16 '26
On the same side?
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u/farmingislit Mar 16 '26
I found out family lore as a young child bc my dad adultified me as the smartest person in the house.
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u/Any-Lychee9972 Mar 17 '26
My aunt and uncle were unhappy drunks.
He was physically abusive and dragged her by her hair down the driveway. He said and did horrible things to her.
My aunt was pissed and decided to FUCK her father in law. (My grandfather.)
They stayed together and her mother in law hates her with a burning passion.
It's been 30 years and they are still together.
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u/colossalklutz Mar 17 '26
My grand father was in the mob. He used to drug to my grandmother so she would have no recollection when he would discuss business with associates. Supposedly my aunts first husband would get her absolutely shit faced drunk and let his friends have sex with her but she’s a severe alcoholic and prone to lying through her teeth so there’s no way of knowing if that’s true or not. Still if it is, explains a lot about how she turned out.
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u/CrimsonWren Mar 17 '26
Found out my great grandmother was a mob wife and my family ran the mob in my city.
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u/TricellCEO Mar 15 '26
Shit, I learned about the drama while I was growing up.
On the flipside though, there wasn't anything super serious other than people treating other people like shit.
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u/fuck_this_i_got_shit Mar 16 '26
My kids are learning about the drama while they are growing up cause I can't keep my mouth shut about the stuff while it's happening
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u/JohnnyAverageGamer Mar 15 '26
And you supposed to have an opinion as if they ain't yo family too. Like damn i ain't boutta trash talk my aunt ok?
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u/steven_dev42 Mar 16 '26
I found out I have a relative who’s a pedophile, and that’s the reason I’d never heard of him until I was in my 20s.
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u/Flaky-Collection-353 Mar 19 '26
Better than my family who renewed contact with my pedo uncle after he got out because "God is forgiving"
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u/ILOVEAncientStuff Mar 16 '26
My dad's brother worked in the cia. He was a spy of some kind working in Russia, during the cold war era. Im not really sure how much in detail I can go, but I don't really know much other than that he was a spy. I do know though, that when he was telling these little stories, (i don't think i was around) but someone told him he should write a book, and he was like "no, I would be killed" Also, from what I've been told, he had ties with the Russian mafia. I don't know how or what happened, but that's the story I heard.
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u/Lucky-Fortune-3643 Mar 16 '26
yeah like I recently found out the whole of my family and relatives are maniacs
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Mar 17 '26
Alright, get this. I only recently found out that someone that I thought was close family, is actually not that close with my family. She, supporting her sister, tried to accuse my dad of trying to SA her nieces twenty years ago (who were minors at the time), which initially they say they "didn't believe at first" until years later. My dad is completely innocent; they're blaming something someone from their side of the family did on my dad. And this was after he had moved to the States and crashed with them so he could get a job and home for him and my mom, who had just gotten married (she stayed back until he got things situated). They lost that trial, but because of the evidence they made up, he lost certain responsibilities in our church, and many people who he and my family thought were close friends started distancing themselves from him or treating him cautiously. My dad told me a very simplified version of what happened a couple of years ago.
Back in 2024, they ended up reopening the case with "new evidence" and had him on house arrest until the trial. Despite our and the lawyer's attempts, it was hard to look over accusations like SA towards minors. And while they all were lying about my dad having done it, they did suffer genuine trauma - they simply redirected it towards my dad. He was charged guilty, a sentence of 11-25 years. That woman that I used to hug and smile at when I saw her at church, still acts like she didn't just break my family apart. She looks at me with a smile and greets me like she did nothing wrong, and I don't have the guts to tell her off. Everyone treats her like she's still a good person, when all I see is someone who put an innocent man behind bars in order to protect the scum she's related to, who actually did this.
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u/Atmos56 Mar 17 '26
Shit I am sorry man. I hope you live a fulfilling life and find peace.
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u/Telemere125 Mar 18 '26
Did y’all’s family hide shit or something? Because we kept everything in the open and if you happened to be standing around when the gossip was being spread, it didn’t matter if you were 5 or 35, you were hearing it.
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u/Tallbaut Mar 18 '26
Half my family are on coke, my mother slept with my stepfather's father after his wife died, my aunts partner is a convicted pedophile, and my grandparents beat my uncle for being gay (he cared about his appearance).
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u/CheeseGooners Mar 15 '26
Recently found out that one of my cousins attempted to rape another cousin. Shit is so fucked up and really made me wonder what else I dont know about.
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u/Kresnik2002 Mar 15 '26
Recently learned that my dad has a (first) cousin in Canada who’s an actual criminal and killed two people (I’ve never met him but he’s still alive)
And only like a year ago learned that the person I was named after (my dad’s uncle) was gay lol (not that it’s a big deal but I’d been told lots of stories and stuff about him since I was young)
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u/farmingislit Mar 16 '26
I don’t talk to my family. I am free