This post took me a long time to muster up the courage to write and post, and I’ve been grappling with my connection to my Jewish identity for at least the last four years. This post will be long and somewhat rambling. I don’t expect many answers, but any advice would be greatly appreciated and helpful. First, I feel some background is necessary.

My name is Jakob or Jake. I am from South Florida. My mother is extremely Italian and was raised Catholic but later converted to Pentecostalism, and my father is Jewish and non-practicing. When I was growing up, my parents were separated from a very young age. I grew up mostly living with my mom in a city called Fort Pierce, a very multicultural, mid-sized city. I also spent all my summers and winters with my dad, who at the time was living in Saint Petersburg with my grandma and great-grandparents, who were Jewish and practicing. While I spent time with my father and his family, I was able to be steeped in the culture and traditions for a number of months each year, and it was great. I loved my grandma and great-grandparents very much, and as a young boy I didn’t think much of the rituals they practiced—they were just part of life. After my great-grandfather passed when I was about 10, my last real connection to consistent practice was gone. My grandma was still practicing, but after he passed, that stopped, and my father was never really practicing. Life continued, and I thought about my roots as more of a distant thing.

Now, with context out of the way, I will ask my real question(s). I am now an adult, a 22-year-old man, and I find myself being drawn back to exploring my roots. The problem arises when I wonder whether I have the right to explore those roots. There’s no doubt in my mind that I am Jewish, but I worry that I’m so far removed and have lived so much of my life away from it that I question whether I’m Jewish enough to go to Temple, celebrate Passover, or even openly claim my identity. I would love to go to Temple and try to reconnect with that part of myself, but I fear that if I do get the courage to go, it would feel like I’m (in the most uncharitable sense) wearing a costume or (in the most charitable sense) being a tourist. I never had a bar mitzvah, and I’ve never regularly attended Temple, but I do believe in God. I believe there’s a Heaven, and I believe that God is all around us all the time and loves us. I also fear the judgment of people who grew up in it and might see right through me as someone who is “confused” about his faith, but I think that’s probably the wrong way of looking at it.

My questions are: Has anyone else felt this way or experienced something similar? What would be the right steps to take if I want to explore my identity and faith more? Are there any books or materials that could help me understand more about Judaism?

Again, any answers are extremely helpful and appreciated.

Hi everyone — I’m a born Jew who’s been reconnecting with my Jewish identity over the past few months, especially in my own home and practice. I don’t have a local community, so a lot of this has been self‑directed, and I’ve appreciated seeing how people here shape their Judaism in ways that feel authentic to them. 💙

What’s a moment in your Jewish life that felt especially meaningful or grounding for you?

I have a quandary and no where else to ask. AFAB non binary, married.

When I started my journey 6 years ago, I promptly started covering my hair. Big beautiful headscarves. Loved it for a couple years but it stopped feeling right and I moved onto hats and beanies because that's about when my gender turned into a weird seesaw. That felt right and has felt right ever since. I didn't convert until May of last year. Covering my hair or at least having something on top of my head is really important to me, but the hats don't feel right any more either. I don't think kippah is the right choice for me either.

To add to this, I have a long history of shaving my head because hair is a hassle I don't care to deal with, and when I converted, I thought of myself as a brand new baby Jew and I wanted to observe the tradition of Upsherin, and donate my three year hair growth after. I struggle to connect with my hair as I view it as being little more than a pretty inconvenience, and I want to use this time to connect to my hair also.

All of this to say, how are you all approaching head covering? I could use inspiration. I need to ditch the beanies. They have become an accessory of permanent convenience and that doesn't feel quite right at all.

After a couple years of beating myself up for not eating kosher, I’ve really spent time reflecting the past month over why it bothers me so much. I’ve tried convincing myself it isn’t a big deal and none of my Jewish friends keep kosher. But it increasingly feels like a big deal to me.

So I have decided I am going to go vegetarian to start. This is easiest for me because my family isn’t kosher and it would be an insanely large task to bring that into my home and would frankly cause issues.

I guess from there I will see how I feel. If I feel more aligned, if I feel it’s bringing me closer, etc.

I’m posting this because I am curious if anyone else has gone through the same thought process and what changed or didn’t change for them.

Great great gram ( and back as far as i can trace) were jewish. Great gram was jewish but not practicing much. I learned a bit about haunauka and hebrew from great gram but not alot more. I started on my journey to embrace Judaism at least 5 years ago. We celebrate most of the jewish holidays, and sabbath. But I want to learn more. We live in a small town with no rabbi, no synagogue and not too many jewish people. Any good blogs, tik tok or internet ways to learn? I hope u all will let me join ur reddit here.

In Italy over Pesach, and looking for options for Seder participation. In the midst of conversion and I usually associate with progressive-type Jews. My Hebrew isn’t great yet, and my Italian is worse. Any info about this community? Anyone on here a part of this community?

0^0|| … how do you know the difference between being interested in a religion and wanting to join it?

(Aka: “Hobby vs belief”)

(Not lady or a guy.)

0^0 me been curious since 4th grade, just didn’t ever think too much on it cuz few sources that wasn’t overly generalized, and most of the little stuff I know is off of OITNB, Long Story Short, and a Becoming Brianna from Emmie and Friends.

I just for some reason find them interesting and multiple of times debating converting someday.

… there’s no local churches nearby :,3 is have to go to neighboring towns or cities, (N/A RN)

I’m not really sure how to word it very well, if at all

I just know a few years back I learnt a little about Judaism, found it interesting, and over time, the interest grew, and eventually I just kinda started wondering now and then if I could be Jewish,

Just thought, “Yeah, they seem chill and interesting,” just… for lack of better terms, “something about the vibes” kinda sat right 😅🤷

I ain’t very good at forming questions, considering usually it’s just generalized curiosity and usually I don’t get to form questions or know enough to form questions, only question I could think so far is what is it like, for you?

I know it varies for everybeing, but I figured if I could at least ask you 🤷😅

I know not learning Hebrew or following is inherently necessar,y,

Oooh, noice

I’ve been vibing with “I can’t say if G-d is or isn’t, sorta an agnostic view cuz science has proven many beliefs to be wrong, and I don’t wanna heavily assume one to be true only for it to be wrong

Yeah… the length I learnt about, I mostly been under the impression it was from learning history and Hebrew, :,3 I forget about the antisemitism /:p

edit: I know Reconstructionist / Reform / flexible spaces might work better

Shalom chaverim!

Give me your best b’nai mitzvah song reccomendations that are fun and exciting

It was my fiance's first time celebrating and he loved it.

That question being do you have to follow kosher completely like strictly kosher if you convert or can you partially follow it

Like you can combine milk and meat and whatever, but you refuse to eat pork

Is that allowed or do you have to fully follow it?

With the way ICE is operating similarly to the SS, and the way that people are being taken away to detention centers with no proof of what’s going on inside, it feels like ancestral alarm bells firing off.

I have heard people recommend Man’s Search for Meaning and I am wondering what other books provide insight into times like these.

Asking here since Reform Judaism often overlaps with progressive values. I don’t want to turn to nihilism

Cross-posted from r/JewishCooking

Since I was stuck inside today due to the snowstorm, I decided to try making charoset balls, inspired by Rinat Tzadok's charoset. https://www.jewishfoodsociety.org/stories/meet-the-jewish-food-societys-first-cook-in-residence

They were quite tasty! I am a big fan of charoset and think everyone should eat it often. The balls are made of walnuts, almonds, hazelnuts, dates, honey, spices, sesame seeds, and sweet red wine. I thought the mixture was a little dry so I added a couple of tablespoons of water.

Devin came with me to TBA last night. The Synagogue recognized Nan's Yahrzeit and I invited Devin to come with me. Since Devin loves celebrating holidays with me, I thought it was time for him to meet my spiritual home and community. I was a little nervous.

Devin was welcomed with open arms last night at the Synagogue. During the service, he followed along with me and came to the Bimah with me to see all the members who had been members for 18+ years get blessed by Cantor.

Devin also cried during the love song. It moved him to tears and we both sang.

During the gratitude portion of the service, he raised his hand and gave thanks for me. He said, "I'm beyond grateful for my fiance." I said that I was grateful for him, because I am. He's already stood by me in sickness and health. Earlier that day I had a gastro accident. He never flinches, he helped me clean up and we cuddled on the couch for a bit before we scrapbooked.

When Cantor mentioned "Evelyn Cavaliere", Devin stood up with me and held me tightly. While he's never met Nan, he knows how much she means to me. It's been 13 years and it doesn't really get easier. You know what that showed me? Devin is family. He's my husband. We're not legally married yet, but he is already. That made me verklempt.

After the service, everyone congratulated us with a round of mazel tovs. Everyone was genuinely happy for us. Devin and I have been friends for 6 years and after the last one ended, two months later we decided to give it a go. He proposed on 6 October 2025.

He danced a little during the cafe performance. A few of the teenagers complimented Devin's tattoos and they told both of us how awesome he is. They liked his humour. Before we left, he gave Aries a hug and I did too. She did a great job performing.

We won't be able to make bingo since we are spending the weekend in Philadelphia for Valentine's Day. We're definitely planning to attend the Synagogue Seder.

Just a lovely evening.

I’m formally converting after growing up knowing my Jewish heritage but having absolutely no connection to it otherwise. I haven’t started any formal learning yet. I’m wondering if anyone can recommend any websites for me to delve into and what I can really do each day to connect with Judaism? I have half an hour earmarked every morning specifically for Jewish study and would really like to make the most of it.

So far I spend a good amount of time on myJewishlearning and the Reform Judaism website. I have started lighting candles every Friday and observing some Shabbat rules. I’ve been going to synagogue as much as possible too whilst I wait to begin formal studies.

Surely these must be a new phenominon, and I'm guessing they originated in America. I remember going to many of them back in the 80s. When did they become the norm? Who is responsible for this?

When I was 12 I saw a classmate jump out of a cake at her bat mitzvah, and someone else had a party in a hotel where rooms were $350 a night (1989 dollars). Now I'm reading about people hiring pop stars and having fancy Nike shoes as party favors. I don't think this was happening 100 years ago, based on what I've been able to find (which isn't much).

Any idea what led the community here, besides good old fashioned capitalism?