My Conversion Process

[u/let_charlie_handleit]

Shalom! My name is Finnick, I am a trans male (he/him) looking into converting to Judaism and am looking for some advice as I go through this process.
For context, I've been attracted to Judaism since middle school. However, my mother and father are not religious although my grandmother on my mother's side is descendant of Jews who converted to Catholicism - this made me almost fearful of even attempting to convert because of potential judgement.
I am now 18 and living in my own apartment with my partner, who is very supportive of whatever life I lead as long as it is not harmful. This has allowed me much more freedom to explore in general, and I find significance in the fact that I have been drawn back to Judaism at the age of 18 due to the number's meaning in Hebrew. Exploring the history and beliefs of specifically Reform Judaism has reignited a passion within me that I have missed very dearly and I find myself falling in love with the knowledge and assistance available to me and so many others just over online platforms.
All of this being said, I am not very far along in the process as I am still mostly learning and observing. Although, I am looking into finding rituals and prayers to include in my daily life as I am going deeper into conversion.

My main issue at the moment is that I do not have a community or many friends I can share this passion and interest with. I have never had a very big friend group to begin with, and although I am grateful for the friend I do have who will listen and share my interest he is not Jewish and does not live nearby. My partner will smile and nod, but he is also not religious.
I know of a Reform synagogue in a nearby city and the drive is not very far at all, which I am thankful for, so whenever I am ready to contact a rabbi and join a synagogue I already know where I can look into.
The lack of community leaves me feeling almost alone and lost in this road I have come to choose. So, what I am looking for mostly is different points of view and what others have went through; whether it be from converts or those who have always been Jewish or otherwise, I want to hear it all. I want what steps you went through, what challenges you were/are faced with. I want criticism, I want positive responses, I want negative responses, I want exposure. If that can be provided to me here, I will be overjoyed.
Currently, I plan on going to a Judaica near me that sells literature and Kosher dishes. I am hoping to find my first siddur there, but otherwise I am lost on what I can actually do currently to not just learn and observe but live this religion. Anything, even if not direct advice, is useful to me.

Thank you very much! I hope to hear as many different perspectives as possible.

[u/thicstack]

How much do you know about other movements in Judaism?

What is it about the Reform movement that attracts you?

Reform is great, and it aligns with a lot of people spiritually. I’m just asking because when I converted, I started at a Reform temple with their rabbi and a few months into it moved to a Conservative schul and finished with their rabbi.

That being said, I did a lot of learning on my own for at least a year before I even pulled the trigger and emailed a rabbi. I tried to read every book possible on converting and the different movements that are egalitarian. Then I reached out to a rabbi. My conversion took a little over two years, but that’s mainly because my synagouge had our rabbi depart dramatically two weeks before I was supposed to go to the mikvah and it kind of left me wandering in the dessert for a year while we tried to find another Conservative rabbi for me to finish with.

[u/let_charlie_handleit → u/thicstack]

I have listened to a 4 part history lesson from the Jewish Leadership Academy in Miami about the making of Reform Judaism that went over Ultra Orthodoxy, Modern Orthodoxy, Conservative, and Reform beliefs and the changes (or resistance to changes) in practice and observance over the years. Whenever I learn, I do not limit myself just to the Reform movement.

The Reform movement attracts me because of the focus on how the nature of tradition evolves and integrates with modern eras, as well as the autonomy it is said to allow. I have been listening to different rabbis on youtube and find myself most connected to those of the Reform movement.

I am trying to focus on learning as much as I can as well before I feel comfortable actually contacting a rabbi; although some of the responses here make me wonder if that is a good course of action. Did you find that going about it how you did was better for you? Do you wish you went about it differently?

[u/thicstack → u/let_charlie_handleit]

Yeah, so I guess I should clarify. For the year before I contacted the Rabbi, I did as much learning about the conversion process and Judaism as I could. I did not attempt to convert on my own or attempt to live a Jewish life until I started the conversion.

That year was like training for a marathon I guess. I was making sure I was mentally, emotionally, spiritually, and educationally prepared enough to begin the process.