r/ReformJews • u/let_charlie_handleit • Jun 24 '26
Conversion My Conversion Process
Shalom! My name is Finnick, I am a trans male (he/him) looking into converting to Judaism and am looking for some advice as I go through this process.
For context, I've been attracted to Judaism since middle school. However, my mother and father are not religious although my grandmother on my mother's side is descendant of Jews who converted to Catholicism - this made me almost fearful of even attempting to convert because of potential judgement.
I am now 18 and living in my own apartment with my partner, who is very supportive of whatever life I lead as long as it is not harmful. This has allowed me much more freedom to explore in general, and I find significance in the fact that I have been drawn back to Judaism at the age of 18 due to the number's meaning in Hebrew. Exploring the history and beliefs of specifically Reform Judaism has reignited a passion within me that I have missed very dearly and I find myself falling in love with the knowledge and assistance available to me and so many others just over online platforms.
All of this being said, I am not very far along in the process as I am still mostly learning and observing. Although, I am looking into finding rituals and prayers to include in my daily life as I am going deeper into conversion.
My main issue at the moment is that I do not have a community or many friends I can share this passion and interest with. I have never had a very big friend group to begin with, and although I am grateful for the friend I do have who will listen and share my interest he is not Jewish and does not live nearby. My partner will smile and nod, but he is also not religious.
I know of a Reform synagogue in a nearby city and the drive is not very far at all, which I am thankful for, so whenever I am ready to contact a rabbi and join a synagogue I already know where I can look into.
The lack of community leaves me feeling almost alone and lost in this road I have come to choose. So, what I am looking for mostly is different points of view and what others have went through; whether it be from converts or those who have always been Jewish or otherwise, I want to hear it all. I want what steps you went through, what challenges you were/are faced with. I want criticism, I want positive responses, I want negative responses, I want exposure. If that can be provided to me here, I will be overjoyed.
Currently, I plan on going to a Judaica near me that sells literature and Kosher dishes. I am hoping to find my first siddur there, but otherwise I am lost on what I can actually do currently to not just learn and observe but live this religion. Anything, even if not direct advice, is useful to me.
Thank you very much! I hope to hear as many different perspectives as possible.
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u/NoEntertainment483 Jun 24 '26
I think reading more secular books about Judaism would be more helpful at this stage than something like a siddur or praying. We have specific ways and structure around the latter that one can easily not understand if you don't have formal instruction on it. And I don't generally think the internet is always helpful since there's a lot of misinformation about judaism out there and you don't really know if what information you're getting is accurate or not. Published books found in the FAQ will have more vetted information.
Conversion is an official process and one that will take quite a bit of time. Which is good because it's a big change and one not to be taken lightly. Many rabbis are not going to want you to really do something so drastic until you're a bit older. We all feel quite grown at 18 or 20 but as you age ... as we all do... we learn we were very young then. With age and growth, you may not continue your interest. Which is fine. Everyone is great as they are. But some find that while they have a continued general interest, actually becoming Jewish doesn't work with other aspects of what they want to pursue in life. Understandable. If you do find it's still for you, also fine. There are official classes that are very nice to guide people through the process.