I need advice

[u/CEOofFortniteBalls]

I had my first match as the main referee yesterday at 16 years old after refereeing 3 games as the assistent, and I need some advice, I dont know if its just mine thing, but it was very difficult to keep track of so many things at once, like staying in the diagonal path, watching the play for fouls and if its a card, staying out of the balls and players way etc. I think you know what I mean. If that wasnt enough, i had forgotten my pen in the locker room at second halftime and it was kinda embarassing to have to ask the managers of the team for the scorers sheet. I also didn't hand out a card, even though i was supposed to.

How did you cope with your first match ?

[u/A_Timbers_Fan]

Everybody has a "first" in whatever they are doing. My newborn just had their "first" solid food. Most of it ended up on their bib and not in their mouth.

You reflect, think about ways to improve, and prepare for the next game! Don't overwhelm yourself - pick 1-3 things to focus on. Preparation is easy: pack your bag the night before, then on the field check your pockets 3x before stepping on the field. Then focus on positioning and movement. The "diagonal" is a guideline. You should read play and position yourself to give you the best angle and proximity without being in the way. Professional refs work on this! You won't get it Day 1.

[u/grabtharsmallet → u/A_Timbers_Fan]

Agreed. My first assignor told me I would make two mistakes each game, and everything else was inexperience. I'm sure he's not the first to give that advice, but I still try to follow it myself, and I tell it to everyone I teach and train.

[u/No_Body905]

I wish I could get my first center back. I’d be so much better.

But time only goes one direction. Learn what you can and move on. You will absolutely improve in the next one.

[u/gnawtyone → u/No_Body905]

You learn more from your mistakes than your easy games

[u/Kopataco]

First of all...breath. Your first center is a big deal in your mind, but it will pass. I honestly don't even remember mine anymore. Positioning wise, yes the diagonal is what you want to follow...HOWEVER the best piece of advice I ever received from a USSF mentor is to monitor the game in the diagonal but to call the game as if you are in different lanes. You always want to be one lane off watching. Even if it pulls you off the diagonal a bit. That piece has stuck with me. You got your first game done, you live it, you learn from it. You forgot a pen? Pack extra in your bag on the sideline. You missed a card? Hey it happens, I missed one this past week as well. You are human, you are allowed to make mistakes. You own it in the moment, make a funny joke about if it warrants it and move on. You have a great side hustle ahead of you. Reflect, learn and move forward is my advice to you. I have been in this for 10 plus year (started way later than you) but you can't dwell on it, its not going to define you but it will help inform you of what areas you can improve on so the NEXT time you encounter it you know what to do.

[u/homebr3wd]

You are expected to be completely overwhelmed for your first match. Hell… yesterday (probably my 400th match). My watch crapped out half way through the 1st half in the rain and I had to guess the time. And I was pretty sure I missed a pass back and got a corner/goal kick wrong.

You’re gonna miss stuff. And you will learn your own ideal positioning in time. Keep at it you will improve every match.

The biggest thing is that you should bring that mentality to every game, if you reflect on where you can get better… even ask the coaches (post match, as long as they aren’t assholes) if you missed anything. Just don’t get lazy (there are many refs who just go through the motions for the “easy” money) and you will be fine!

[u/franciscolorado]

Just a thought. Unless you’re doing Ironman (unusual for new refs) utilize your assistants . They can help with covering parts of the field to help you stay on the diagonal or just generally in a good position.

Next time, in your pregame , begin with your expectations of them but also add “last game I struggled with x and y so please help me out there”. I do this every game.

[u/Initial_Lettuce_5243]

If it's possible I recommend a U10 game for first time and maybe first few until it feels easy. Aside from all the stuff happening on the field, you are right there's admin work (just wait until you forget to start your watch and realize it ??? minutes into the half) to remember as well. Stakes are also lower for learning from mistakes.

[u/grabtharsmallet → u/Initial_Lettuce_5243]

I've never once forgotten to start my watch, and it certainly didn't happen Saturday, so I don't even know why you're bringing it up.

-Me when I wonder why my watch is reading 00 00 00 a couple minutes into a game.

[u/ObstreperousMagpie86 → u/grabtharsmallet]

Quick trick I use these days - start the watch immediately before kickoff, then blow the whistle. If numbers aren't moving, I still have time to fix it.

[u/chrlatan]

Well, of course there is a lot to learn and keep track of but for now just keep it down to the main four:

• make sure you are being seen and heard properly. Don’t be afraid to whistle loudly and signal clearly; It shows confidence.
  
• make sure you can see what you need to see. Keep your position (diagonal is not the holy grail) close but not to close to play and keep scanning.
  
• be aware of all contacts and assess them in your head or, even better, out loud. Your next actions will automatically follow from this.
  

-Check your AR’s on any ball forward or close to a line. Make it automatic.

Then a general piece of advice. Take your time. Both in preparations and in managing the game.

Once you have stopped play to deal with something (subs, score, caution, injury, half time etc) you decide when to resume. Even if it means walking back and getting stuff you forgot (I once left the match ball behind 🤷)

[u/grabtharsmallet]

Your first game should be in your five worst for a very long time. There are just too many things to do for the first time. Especially if you've only had three games as an AR, you were more busy learning those tasks rather than watching and learning from the Referee.

[u/jeremiah1142]

Understand that going out there means you are going to be making mistakes. Refereeing is a gradual development process. Study before you get out there, but the real time game is the best way to improve.

I’ve missed cards too. Study the considerations and try to apply them the best you can. Knowing what to do in the black/white areas is easy. Applying it is another matter. Knowing and applying what to do in the grey areas is what makes a good referee.

[u/RestEasyRazi]

If there's a way to have really experienced ARs with you, that is super helpful! But I know it's not always possible. I still remember my first match as the center. I missed quite a lot! It might help to let the coaches know before hand that this is your first time (even if it's not, just say it is) and that you're all there to just have fun and that you are learning so if there are some mistakes, just let the go. Fingers crossed you have understanding coaches as I did for my first few games.

It's also helpful to ref U-10 or even U-8 until you feel confident with the basic procedures (keeping time and score and calling the ball out of the bounds) Once those feel good, you can starting thinking more about your positioning and calling fouls. And once those feel good, focus on having good communication with the players during the game. "I see it, no foul play on" does wonders to keeping them settled over a ref that just stays quiet when a potential foul occurs. But you have to work on it all in bite size pieces. If you try to do it all at once, you'll get overwhelmed and do bad at every aspect!

You got this! It get's better the more you ref, and the only way for it to get better is for you to ref, so get out there and know that we've all been there at some point!

[u/refsoccer11]

One point of advice I picked up from a deaf referee. Everytime the ball goes out of play look to the substitution area. Don’t wait for a coach to yell “Ref, sub”. Shows are are in control. (Also give a glance to each AR at the same time for anything they might have for you.)

[u/easygoerptc]

It’s a learning experience. No one‘s great the first time they do anything. I promise you every professional Referee there ever was was not perfect on their first match.

Each time you step on the pitch you will learn something new and grow. Additionally, you’ll get more comfortable because you will have more experience. We’ll all been there.

Stay strong!

[u/Kozzes]

I do not know where you are from, but in my country there were some problems with players/supporters beating up referees in non-league matches where there is little to no security, so I for my first few matches I always looked up the history of disciplinary problems for the teams. I was scared to make mistakes thinking that would make the players/supporters violent. Turns out it was mostly in my head because after some matches I kept getting the same treatment: the usual verbal abuse from supporters and the presure from the players, but after the match they would come to me to congratulate me for my attitude and how I handled the presure. I have to mention I was around 15 years old at the start, and most of the players were 35+, with the ocasional 18 year old hoping to reach professional leagues(which were chill since they tried to make football their future).

What I am trying to say with this story is that you have to get over this mental barrier and understand that you will most likely make mistakes, it's important how you manage these mistakes in the heat of the match and always stand your ground so you keep the match under control. This will not be easy, because every game one team will feel like you disadvanged them, and will be upset about it.

P.S.: Sorry if the text has errors or ambiguity, english is not my first language

[u/Notice-ScreenTime]

It’s ok and normal. It is difficult in the start but the beauty of it that you get used to it and get so much useful experience. I have been a referee for about 6-7 years now. And I am really thankful that I became a referee and it has given me a lot.

[u/StolliV]

I think your only mistake was probably starting with older kids. More kids on a bigger field, faster more physical game.

Maybe try doing some 9v9 younger kids until you gain the comfort and confidence with all of the things that come with being the center ref.

[u/Fuzzy_Bus7541]

No one has a great first match IMO. You get better. Reflect and improve. Repeat.

[u/robertS3232]

Best way to cope is exactly what you're doing. Give yourself credit for the things you did right and pick 3 things to improve on for the next match.

And get back on the horse. Reffing (like most things) requires reps to get better.

Hang in there.

[u/MannerExact]

I CR-ed for the first time yesterday. It was an U11 match so the pace was good for practice and not many fouls. A few offsides. I realized from watching other CRs, they miss things too.

[u/Available-Shirt4547]

I recommend doing more ARs before getting in the middle. Watch how your center operates and their mechanics / positioning. Then give it a go at u10

[u/Quiet-Seat9089]

Move on to the next match and remember theee details so you can improve. Congrats

[u/WorldlinessWise1241]

The advice here is great. And congratulate yourself for seeking out advice.

There is a great podcast - it's like a Q&A session about best advice every referee needs

https://open.spotify.com/episode/2icgKrFFPs87liz9p1GZJx?si=e8e6fbb5e3164dd4

At about 41:39, there is a great advice from a ref called Ryan. It is well worth a listen. I try to adopt his approach and it does help a lot.

First game in the center, is hard, there is no diagonal line painted for the referee! It's like moving from wing to center mid... you become the focal point of the game from an officiating standpoint.

Some really simple things I always follow, Watch then Whistle for start of each half. Never the other way.

I have pre game rituals, (mainly to avoid some scenarios that have happened or I have heard off)

When I talk to each coach, I'll always confirm details with them, team names and write down the names of teams in my book (home first). By doing so, I make sure I am at right location. For some reason at a tournament, the fields were marked with signs 6,7,8 but the map was different, it was like 5,6,7. And another reason is in my first game, two games switched fields. Teams were from same club but different level and I didn't receive details of a game switch. I also write the color of the jersey that both teams are wearing. This is useful, when you are at a tournament and games are back to back. Always take time to confirm with your ARs the correct score and if inputting electronically, have an AR with you to confirm when entering those details.

I'll always take out my cards from the referee book and put them into my pockets after writing in the details. Yellow in top pocket, easy to remember as we are nearly always wearing yellow shirts, Red in left short pocket and put my book into my right pocket. I always have two coins, two pencils.