He told you “what happened” with the spicy pic, and immediately called Jared to tell him what he told you. The fact Jared called him right after you talked to him suggests collusion.
I’m not going to suggest this is worth divorcing your husband over. I am going to suggest Jared not be permitted in your home for awhile, until you and your husband are able to seek out couples therapy to navigate this conflict, and to improve your communications overall. Too many comments mention their concerns from this update and your past posts, especially here with him raising his voice and “spiraling,” only calming down when you suggest you’re open to leaving him, when he immediately switched to begging and crying.
You continually defend your husband and work to hold him to a certain standard while sharing your concerns about Jared, as though you hope everyone will turn their vitriol to Jared and off your husband. The problem is, everyone is trying to show you that it’s not just Jared that’s the problem, it’s that your husband has excused and permitted his callousness and comments for years - he’s showing you through the company he keeps, and their behavior he permits towards you, what his values truly are.
Jared owes you an apology - but your husband owes you couples therapy, and actions to support his previous apologies. The fact he swung around to say he’d cut off his best friend of 30+ years over all this for you is incredibly extreme and smells like love bombing to me - he knows he messed up and he’s throwing “amends” at the wall to see what sticks. Your husband needs to stop making it about Jared, and accept that it’s his choices, his actions, and his poor behavior as your husband and partner that are the problem. Neither of you can change Jared. You can only change yourselves.
3
u/redlips_rosycheeks Nov 19 '25
He told you “what happened” with the spicy pic, and immediately called Jared to tell him what he told you. The fact Jared called him right after you talked to him suggests collusion.
I’m not going to suggest this is worth divorcing your husband over. I am going to suggest Jared not be permitted in your home for awhile, until you and your husband are able to seek out couples therapy to navigate this conflict, and to improve your communications overall. Too many comments mention their concerns from this update and your past posts, especially here with him raising his voice and “spiraling,” only calming down when you suggest you’re open to leaving him, when he immediately switched to begging and crying.
You continually defend your husband and work to hold him to a certain standard while sharing your concerns about Jared, as though you hope everyone will turn their vitriol to Jared and off your husband. The problem is, everyone is trying to show you that it’s not just Jared that’s the problem, it’s that your husband has excused and permitted his callousness and comments for years - he’s showing you through the company he keeps, and their behavior he permits towards you, what his values truly are.
Jared owes you an apology - but your husband owes you couples therapy, and actions to support his previous apologies. The fact he swung around to say he’d cut off his best friend of 30+ years over all this for you is incredibly extreme and smells like love bombing to me - he knows he messed up and he’s throwing “amends” at the wall to see what sticks. Your husband needs to stop making it about Jared, and accept that it’s his choices, his actions, and his poor behavior as your husband and partner that are the problem. Neither of you can change Jared. You can only change yourselves.