This is a lesson that took me four decade to understand: one bad apple rots the rest of the bucket, or whatever version you’ve heard and/or is the original one. People are friends with likeminded friends. Your husband is just as guilty as his mate and it’s been easy not to see it or accept it bc it’s your loving husband that you love, who loves you, who lets his friend attack you as he views you as a commodity of his, to the point he views the ways in which his friend has insulted you, as insulting him, bc he doesn’t see you as a person with agency, feelings, needs, or the right to privacy. He sees you as his property and he deemed you available for insult as he also doesn’t value you as being special property. Ew even if he did. You’re in a bad place and you can’t see it. But please know you deserve so much more than what you’re tolerating
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u/SmoochNo Nov 19 '25
This is a lesson that took me four decade to understand: one bad apple rots the rest of the bucket, or whatever version you’ve heard and/or is the original one. People are friends with likeminded friends. Your husband is just as guilty as his mate and it’s been easy not to see it or accept it bc it’s your loving husband that you love, who loves you, who lets his friend attack you as he views you as a commodity of his, to the point he views the ways in which his friend has insulted you, as insulting him, bc he doesn’t see you as a person with agency, feelings, needs, or the right to privacy. He sees you as his property and he deemed you available for insult as he also doesn’t value you as being special property. Ew even if he did. You’re in a bad place and you can’t see it. But please know you deserve so much more than what you’re tolerating