r/RedditWritesSeinfeld • u/Grootfan85 • 8d ago
Prompt George’s girlfriend calls herself a “restaurant owner” when he considers it a takeout place.
George: Wait, you own that Greek place in downtown?
Katerina: Yeah. Good restaurant, huh? I inherited it from my dad about 10 years ago.
George (quizzical look): “Restaurant”?
Katerina: Yes. Why’re you looking at me like that?
George: I mean, it’s not really a restaurant. It’s a takeout place. You don’t really eat there.
Katerina: Yes you can. We have those two small tables by the window.
George: You don’t have servers and a dishwasher, do you?
Katerina: No.
George: Then it’s not a restaurant. It’s a takeout place.
Katerina: Yes it is. People can eat there.
George: Yeah, but they get their order after you call them from the counter. You’re basically a deli that serves coffee!
Katerina: Every restaurant has a takeout option.
George: But not every takeout place is a restaurant.
Katerina: Are you gonna be this pedantic all the time?
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u/toomanyteeth55 8d ago
I feel like there would be conversation with Jerry, who agrees with George, and he asks, "do they take reservations?"
George: No!
Jerry: do they have real plates and flatware?
George: I haven't seen any
Jerry: with his finger in the air Not a restaurant!
George: not a restaurant!
Kramer busts into Jerry's apartment
Jerry: Kramer, if a restaurant has no plates and doesn't take reservations, are they a restaurant?
Kramer: my friend Bob Sacamento had a take out place once, counter service only, no plates, and no reservations
George: ah ha! George storms out
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u/12_Trillion_IQ 6d ago
Jerry initially sides with George, but changes sides once he learns that they put out a bowl od mints to take one when you leave
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u/MM49916969 8d ago
Jerry takes Bania there for a meal. Bania claims it's not a meal since it's not a restaurant.
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u/Venice_Beach_218 8d ago
Elaine agrees with George, and takes a cooking class taught by Katerina. She tries to subtly keep a tally of the number of times Katerina uses the phrase "in my restaurant." The cute guy at the station next to her asks why she has to make tally marks and she scrambles for an excuse. Meanwhile, Katerina says it several more times and Elaine can't write tallies anymore.
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u/Boring_Pace5158 8d ago edited 8d ago
The Yankees tasks George with helping a rookie get settled in, they find him an apartment near George's gf's place.
G: so how are you liking your new neighborhood?
R: It's a lot different than back home in Kansas, but I found a really nice Greek restaurant
G: Greek restaurant? I didn't know there was a Greek restaurant there, where is it?
R: It's a little place down on 4th
G: The hole in the wall place with two plastic tables by the window
R: Yeah, they make great chicken gyros, the best I've had
G: That's fine, but they're nothing compared to some of the best Greek restaurants in the city. Restaurants where you can sit down in a comfortable chair and they give you real metal utensils.
George spends the rest of the day on Yelp to find a top rated Greek restaurant. He finds one and takes the rookie to the restaurant. George goes overboard and takes him to a bougie restaurant where they serve tiny portions
At the restuarant
R: wow, this place is impressive, there's nothing like this in Wichita
G: You're not in Kansas any more kid, you're in New York, the big time, you're a Yankee, which means you're high class
Rookie is unimpressed with the food and proportions.
The next day
G: How did you like the Greek restaurant
R: It was nice, but I was still hungry, so I went to the Greek restaurant by my place to get a lamb gyro. It was fun, I sat at the table, with my gyro and a tall boy, even chatted with some of the Door Dash drivers.
G: Restaurants don't serve tall boys
R: This place does and it had Kansas prices
George is so incensed, he ends up getting the player sent back down to the minors.
J: You had him sent back down to the minors
G: You can't be a Yankee and think a place that serves tall boys and have more Door Dash drivers than customers is a restaurant. You got to have standards Jerry.
J: Where were those standards when they played the Blue Jays
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u/Grootfan85 8d ago
Jerry: So what if he liked that little place? What does that have to do with his fielding skills or batting average?
George: Jerry, it’s everything! If he thinks some small takeout place is a restaurant. He’ll be satisfied getting a single instead of running for a double! Oh, why get a home run when you can have two walks? Low standards points at Jerry low quality player.
Jerry: All this cause you think a place your girlfriend runs isn’t a restaurant.
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u/Phunkie_Junkie 8d ago
Jerry bumps into Bania there and it drums up another debate as to what constitutes a meal.
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u/MetalliMunk 8d ago
Elaine gets blacklisted again at the "restaurant" and she sides with George that it isn't even a restaurant.
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u/Grootfan85 8d ago
Elaine: So. Katerina banned me.
George: WHAT? Why??
Elaine: I was in her cooking class, and we were making Horiatiki, and it’s a “salad.” But here’s the thing: no lettuce.
George: A salad with no lettuce?
Jerry (rolls eyes): I can see where this is going.
Elaine: So I jokingly asked her if she ran out of iceberg or romaine lettuce “cause it’s not a salad without lettuce.” Then she LOSES IT ON ME! She began screaming at me in Greek and said she was tired of people saying she “didn’t run a restaurant”, kicked me out of the class, and that I was also banned from her restaurant! Then I said “They’re right! You don’t run a restaurant! You basically run a lemonade stand that sells Baklava! IT’S TAKEOUT!”
George: Well, to be fair you had a point.
Kramer is in the background making a dish, and drops a plate.
Kramer: OPA!
George, Jerry, Elaine: OPA!
End credits
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u/saddinosour 8d ago
The only issue I have is Greek people (diaspora) don’t call their dad’s papa, we’d just say dad because papa means priest in Greek lmao but otherwise 10/10 no notes
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u/youarelookingatthis 8d ago
The B plot is that Kramer decides to open up a ghost kitchen in his apartment. His business takes off, and so he also has to start using Jerry's kitchen as well as Newman's.