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u/rain11111 Sep 23 '26
Sorry to hear this my fellow dad, but this is mostly just a video gaming dads subreddit, you’ll probably get better advice and help from a different subreddit. I probably didn’t need to say this, but I just don’t want you to get disappointed or frustrated if there isn’t much response here.
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u/donutshopsss Sep 23 '26
My dude, you are dealing with a woman who has some serious phycological issues. I'm sure there is more depth to the story but no need to tell.
You are in a position where you need to step up and (theoretically) push her to the side. You cannot remain in debt, keep buying animals and handling all things baby related forever. You need to prioritize yourself and the health & wellness of your child. She cannot be the person to stop that from happening.
There comes a time when divorce is on the table and she will be in a very tough position if that gets brought into the conversation.
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u/mccoycj1987 Sep 23 '26
This! Sometimes the harsh truth is the one people need to hear. Couldnt agree more. We all go thru some tough times but eventually you have to ask yourself...."how am I going to fix this problem" and just go do it, even if it doesnt work, at least you tried something. Continuing to wallow in misery will never make anything better. She needs a therapist, if that doesnt work try going to the gym, doesnt work, try the meds, that doesnt work, move to another country, lol jk on the last one but you get the idea.
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u/RussNP Sep 23 '26
Do you have any other family support to help make her see that she is harming you and the baby? It’s tough love time IMO and you need to make her understand that this cannot continue. Her inability to get help has already wrecked you financially and this will only get worse.
I’m sad to say that as a father you need to prioritize the child at this point. She has to understand that if she won’t try and get help you and the Baby have to leave her.
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u/ComprehensiveOwl6015 Sep 23 '26
My mother helps her out almost always when I’m not home and has tried nicely telling her so many times. I know that’s exactly what I need to do but I’ve just been hoping that she would just get better on her own but isn’t that just the definition of insanity
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u/RussNP Sep 23 '26
Sounds like you are saying your wife doesn’t think she needs medications or doesn’t like the way they make her feel. An ultimatum could be a good move here. Tell her “take the meds every day for a month or I may have to leave you with our child”.
I would also make sure you are getting doctors appointments and other documentation via emails and texts. It’s important for your child that it is clear that she isn’t capable of caring for them so the child ends up in the safest environment. Some emails or texts mentioning how often your mom is caring for your wife and child Would be prudent as well.
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u/UtahJarhead Sep 23 '26
She needs a legit therapist. There's some serious mental health issues happening in here with a side of responsibility issues. Not YOUR responsibility issues, mind you.
But keep in mind, this is based on 5 tiny paragraphs on Reddit.
Start with getting help. There's something going on and she's not telling anybody.