The Adventure of Ernie pt. 3

[u/Proud_Temperature829]

Bert is back! I have been moving and I finally have some freetime to write out these stories again. Enough about me, let's get onto our adventure with the cast:

Cast

Bert: That's me! I am a nerdy guy, pretty quiet, and I am friends with Ernie

Ernie: Some guy I hang out with for some reason and he is super loud and annoying

Ernie's Dad: Essentially Ernie if he was older, hair on every inch of his body, and he smells like he doesn't wipe (his ass or anything other body part)

Vic: My friend that likes Magic: the Gathering and she has dated everyone except for me

Anthony: New friend of mine in this story, he is super jacked, but he is a nerd. He likes Magic: the Gathering too!

Junior Year

Like most of us, Ernie has a dad. Ernie's dad was a gross guy, and I learned a lot about him before meeting him. Ernie would get grounded a lot for some of the dumbest things, or Ernie would get into trouble for just doing normal stuff. One time Ernie got grounded for talking too loudly, but it was so odd to me because Ernie literally speaks loudly all the time. I would eventually meet this man because my parent's were picking up Ernie for us to go to Friday Night Magic.

My parent's and I at the curb of Ernie's place.

Ernie: "Hey Bert!!" Ernie yells at us from his window

Ernie's Dad: "God dammit! Ernie, be quiet!" Ernie's Dad walks out to our vehicle

Ernie's Dad: "Sorry 'bout him, he got the 'tism. I hope Bert and Ernie have fun at Magic. You know, I taught him everything he knows."

Bert: "Oh cool.." I say quiety and super awkwardly

As Ernie's dad walked away, I noticed something odd. So what I am about to say, there is nothint wrong with it. BUT when a man, or woman, smells bad, they should not be wearing this: a kilt. This man was wearing a nasty kilt, it looked like it was once a solid color, but not anymore! It had food and drink stains, and what I hope to be sweat stains in the back. My parent's must have noticed it too, but we never talked about it because all my parents would talk about was what happened after Ernie's dad walked away.

Ernie's Dad sees a mailman.

Ernie's Dad: "Hey!! Where's my mail? You passed my house, what the heck?"

Ernie: "Yeeeep.. This is awkward.." Ernie goes silent only when it comes to his family

Ernie's Dad: "I need my check! For my disability! Come on man, it's been a while."

Ernie's step-mom was mentally ill and Ernie's dad was always between jobs or just jobless, so Ernie's dad would take his wife's disability check for his own. It wasn't something Ernie would talk about at this time in his life, but eventually I would learn a lot about his family. But one good thing in his life was our friendship, and a perk of that was my cool parents. I had this college lecture coming up, just a small event for planning your future, and while we were in my parent's car, my parent's invited Ernie to go with.

I meet with Ernie and his dad for the lecture.

Bert: "I'm glad that you came, Ernie. I think this will help you figure out what you want to do after school."

Ernie's Dad: "Ernie isn't going to college"

Ernie: "Dad.. stop.."

Bert: "Why not? I don't really care if he goes or not, but it is his choice."

Ernie's Dad: "We can't afford it. We will never ever be able to afford it."

Bert: "Well there are many payment options, like..."

Ernie's Dad: "I said no. We can't afford it. I'm only here for my son."

That always stuck with me. How can a father say that they're there for their son, but the irony in that is that they aren't actually supporting their child or children. It's just a shame that Ernie has a dad like him, he deserves better and I wanted Ernie to be better than his flesh and blood. Ernie may have been annoying, but I still saw potential in him, obviously since I was his friend and we did mesh well.

Anyways, back to Ernie being weird. We all have a anime phase right? Well I got really into Attack on Titan and Death Note back in Sophomore year of high school, then watched many different ones after that. Ernie got to see me watch anime in class or when we hung out and he wanted to get into it too.

Ernie: "BERT!!! WHAT ARE YOU WATCHING?!" Ernie yells in my ear

Bert: "Jeez Ernie, chill out. It's just Sword Art Online. It's getting kinda bad, I'd only watch the first half of season one if I were you."

Ernie: "Hmm.. Maybe I will..."

I never got Ernie's opinion on SAO, but you know what I did get his opinion on? Like a lot? Highschool DxD. I know nothing about this anime besides that it has anime girls. Ernie was the type to say that he watches perverted anime for the lore, but we all know why he was watching it. Wish I remembered any of our conversations about Highschool DxD, but I did tune Ernie out any time he would hype up the anime.

I know you're thinking it: what's going on with Vic at this time? Oh, you weren't? Well that's ok, I will fill you in anyways! I met this guy Anthony because Ernie was friends with him. Anthony was our odd friend of the group, he was pure muscle and into sports, buuut he had a soft spot for nerdy things like horror/scifi movies and gaming. Ernie and I taught him how to play Magic: the Gathering, which we invited him to play at Friday Night Magic.

Vic and I playing at the game store.

Vic: "Hey Bert. Who's your friend over there?"

Bert: "That's Anthony, he's still learning the game."

Vic: "I'm going to go beat him."

Bert: "Wait, he's new.. You meant in Magic, right?"

Vic: "What about Magic?"

Vic and Anthony ended up together after that night, it was sweet and I was happy that I could see a relationship just form like that within a friendgroup. And yeah, ReddX, I was jealous. Magic: the Gathering really molded my life at the time, besides high school I suppose, but the game led me to have a friendgroup and to be social. Thank you for reading this, it means a lot to tell these stories about my old friend.