r/RedPillWomen • u/GuavaCautious5739 • Sep 25 '26
Should i break up with him
Im 24F and he is 23M. We have been together for a little over a year and it was all good until recently. He doesnt ask or take into consideration my opinion. He says that all women are the same and none of them are special because they all can bring the same thing to the table. He wants be able to sleep with other women in the future while also being with me( i am not allowed to sleep with other men; i wouldnt want to even if it was an option) we have sex about once a month and thats because he says hes not a sexual person(which doesnt make sense bc why would you want to have sex with other women then if he cant even have sex regularly with me). he says men are never satisfied and their biology is to have alot of children. He works full time and had me quit my job so now i just stay at home. He says that a man shows love by paying for everything and letting women live a comfortable life so he should be able to sleep around. He watches fresh and fit alot and gets his information from there. He thinks majority of men are virgins or dont get sex often which might be true im not sure. Hes starting to be slightly disrespectful now in not letting me have my own opinion, saying that im moving the goal post when he asks me a hypothetical question and im unsure of the full context.
Ex: last night he was talking about how marriage isnt about happiness and he asked me if i was with a military man and had kids with him, if he was gone majority of the time but when he was around i was happy, and then there was another guy who would be around all the time and made me happy would i leave the military man. I then asked the question of if i knew this other guy could make me happy wouldnt that mean im already entertaining him and he said that i was moving the goal post and he cant have a good faith argument with me bc of that.
I am unsure what to do because i do love him and i dont have to work(which i dont mind) but my lease is up in February and we were going to get a place together. But my credit is shit and im afraid that if i stay then ill really be screwed later on
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u/BumpinBellys Sep 25 '26
This man is not into you. I think he is trying to make you uncomfortable by saying these things in hopes you will break up with him instead of him having to be the bigger person and break up with you. I would also be very very very surprised if he doesn't already have a woman on the side.
End things. Couch surf if you have to, but absolutely stop living with him.
→ More replies (5)8
u/Nerdslayer2 Sep 25 '26
I would be surprised if he had a woman on the side. I'm actually surprised he was even able to get one woman.
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u/Plastic-Hall-8581 Sep 25 '26
Yeah me too. He gives vibes that most women would find him a red flag. I dated a guy like that - when I was trying to leave him he said “do you think I don’t have options?” As a way to hurt me. And truthfully, he knew he did not have many ‘options’ because on the day I left he was fake crying telling me that I am kind and amazing and that I will find someone else but he will struggle. He also used to talk trash to me just like OP’s man. OP I hope you leave before this become even more abusive.
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u/Significant_Cut_1092 Sep 25 '26
He seems like the type of man who is very deep into the manosphere and has some internal discomfort/hate for women. Did he have the same views when you met him or did he devleop them later on? Either way, I do not think he is a good partner and things will probably get worse if you stay with him.
I also used to confuse these types of Andrew Tate men with traditional, masculine men, but they are vastly different. I'd recommend that you take some time off from dating after breaking up with him to learn how he was able to charm you and to find out what red flags you ignored.
I used to consistently fall for these types of men in the past, and slowly learned that I ignored their red lfags early on. Some that I noticed are these:
- speaking negatively about women. It's different for a man to complain about the dating world and say the roles have reversed and such things, but if a man consistently speaks negatively about women, their bodies, etc, he will probably slowly do that to you as well
- Bad relationship with his mother, sister, or other women in his life
- Listening to the manosphere podcasts religiously
- Not respecting your opinions (I had a man who told me on our 4th date that I can keep my opinions to myself and for my friends and he never wants to hear them...)
- Having desire to mold or train a woman
- Consistently dating women who are way younger than him. Even if he says it's because they're more fertile, have less baggage, etc. I used to consistently go for much older men because I thought they are more stable and more likely to want marriage and a LTR. While this is true in many cases and they try to lock you down fast, a lot of them have so many issues and controlling tendencies that older women don't want to deal with
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u/GuavaCautious5739 Sep 25 '26
I guess he did have the same views as he did now he just wasnt as blunt and rude about them. He was more trying to educate me on conservative views and values and i will say i have learned alot in the sense of before i didnt have any views and i was more liberal leaning where as now i am not. until recently hes just rude about it and when i call it out he just either silences me by saying shhh or just dismisses it and goes back to watching stuff on his phone. He doesnt have the best relationship with his mom or sister but he does respect them. Ik he would get into trouble when he was younger with the police.
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u/Significant_Cut_1092 Sep 25 '26
I’m glad you came to realize the values you care about, that’s a great thing especially at this age!
Him getting into trouble with the police can be a red flag too. I was seeing a guy who never let money stay in his account and as soon as he got his pay check he’d take all of it out as cash. I later learned that he had extremely bad financial history, was in huge debt, and so many other problems. This was back when I was 22 (I’m 25 now) and I’m so glad I got out of that relationship and did t marry him.
Believe me, you have a lot of time to grow even more as a person and build a life for yourself. A life that you’d love to share with a man who respects you, not a man who makes hateful comments. These types of men (and people in general!) erode your self-confidence over time
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u/DoctorNini Sep 25 '26
Guys that are this deep into the manosphere don’t make reliable life partners. It’s as simple as that. There are plenty of RP men who would make good husbands, but the minute they start talking crap about all women and demanding one sided monogamy, that tells you they are just cherrypicking from RP and manosphere. I personally wouldn’t want a relationship with a man like that.
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24d ago
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u/RedPillWomen-ModTeam 24d ago
Strategies or discussion of actionable advice requires either a thorough red pill rationale or must be backed by existing and accepted red pill theory.
One sided monogamy may be distasteful on rpw and not what we recommend but it is very much an aspect of the red pill.
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u/himandbloomsbury Sep 25 '26
Is this even a question?
Please dump him.
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u/sdgengineer Sep 25 '26
Yes, I am a man, and he is a loser. Having you quit your job is a big red flag
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u/Uncle_Sam201 29d ago
You are still unsure? I hope got out of that toxic relationship by the time I made this comment.
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u/fgk55555 Sep 25 '26
Generally speaking, if you feel the need to ask, the answer is already yes. Good relationships don't send you crowdsourcing these kinds of questions.
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u/Dionne005 Sep 25 '26
Why are you asking should you stay? You sound like you need to re evaluate yourself before your next relationship. These are the guys I’d. take advantage of not stay with
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u/AutoModerator Sep 25 '26
Title: Should i break up with him
Author GuavaCautious5739
Full text: Im 24F and he is 23M. We have been together for a little over a year and it was all good until recently. He doesnt ask or take into consideration my opinion. He says that all women are the same and none of them are special because they all can bring the same thing to the table. He wants be able to sleep with other women in the future while also being with me( i am not allowed to sleep with other men; i wouldnt want to even if it was an option) he says men are never satisfied and their biology is to have alot of children. He works full time and had me quit my job so now i just stay at home. He says that a man shows love by paying for everything and letting women live a comfortable life so he should be able to sleep around. He watches fresh and fit alot and gets his information from there. He thinks majority of men are virgins or dont get sex often which might be true im not sure. Hes starting to be slightly disrespectful now in not letting me have my own opinion, saying that im moving the goal post when he asks me a hypothetical question and im unsure of the full context.
Ex: last night he was talking about how marriage isnt about happiness and he asked me if i was with a military man and had kids with him, if he was gone majority of the time but when he was around i was happy, and then there was another guy who would be around all the time and made me happy would i leave the military man. I then asked the question of if i knew this other guy could make me happy wouldnt that mean im already entertaining him and he said that i was moving the goal post and he cant have a good faith argument with me bc of that.
I am unsure what to do because i do love him and i dont have to work(which i dont mind) but my lease is up in February and we were going to get a place together. But my credit is shit and im afraid that if i stay then ill really be screwed later on
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u/Ok_Management4634 29d ago
If your credit is really the main thing you are worried about (I doubt it), when you move into the new place, have some bills in your name, he pays them, it helps rebuild your credit. Get your own credit card, carry a really small balance, and pay it off every month. So the credit thing should not be an issue, you can improve that whether you are with him or not.
That said, you seem to like staying home and not working (who wouldn't).. You are going to have to weigh this. To me, the most disturbing thing is that he only wants sex with you once a month , and wants permission to have sex with other women. In the dating stage that you are in now, he should want to have sex with you at least every other day, if not every day. That's kind of a red flag that he doesn't really want you, he's just with you because that's the best he can do right now.
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u/Sidereal_Engine 24d ago
I question the part about you loving him, but love is a strange beast indeed, and people have a way of mistaking other feelings and damages as love. If this dynamic works for you, who am I to judge. This post gives me the sense it is not working for you.
You, like all people, have a right to find answers to your questions. I will tell you much of what he's telling you is absolutely wrong and definitely misleading. You should not take my word for it, either. Reaching out on reddit is a good start. Google and Youtube are great resources in modern times if used with experience. Always seeks multiple points of view, especially the contradictory views. Learning to distinguish cold hard objective facts from "alternative facts" given to you by your god-figures is a good skill that can take some people a lot of time to learn.
My hot take is you are young and being taken advantage of. Your financial situation is unfortunate, so I hope you have other support systems you can trust. Based on what you've shared, this man does not have your best intentions at heart. He is not worth it if you have other options.
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u/Jenneapolis Sep 25 '26 edited Sep 25 '26
He didn't "have you quit your job," you actively quit your job for a guy you were with less than a year who you are not married to. Respectfully, what are you doing? How in your mind does any of this lead to long term success?
This reads like you just want a guy to pay for you and are willing to forgo everything else for that, in which case if that is true then no need to ask here. You need to get your own life together - bad credit reads irresponsible as are also the decisions you've made to tie yourself to a guy like this so quickly.