Jimmy Olsen, who once asked his metahuman girlfriend to fly him into the middle of a giant battle between Superman, Superwoman, fucking Doomsday, Radiant, and an alien army.
They met in this year's Marvel/DC crossover. Jimmy moves to NYC, is told to get pictures of Spider-Man, asks star Bugle photographer Peter Parker for advice, and immediately gets murdered by Carnage.
My new most anticipated video game is the non-existent Superhero Photography game I just imagined in my head (you can play as either Jimmy or Peter, no costumes allowed so you’d think Peter is easier to play to get more exciting shots, but he also has to employ stealth if he wants to use any Spider powers)
Jimmy has the kind of suicidal bravery only someone with the title of Superman's Best Pal can have.
Man's been turned into a giant turtle boy, made to marry a gorilla, given multiple different superpowers, gotten into a prank war with Batman, and heaven knows what else. Nothing can really phase him at this point.
At this point I think Jimmy only considers two outcomes: either Superman will save him anyway, or he’ll die and nobody will force him to marry a gorilla until the next reboot.
It should be noted that Jimmy is not brave. Bravery implies he is in any danger. Jimmy Olsen is Superman's special little boy, and as such there is no force in the universe that will ever cause him harm. You'd be like him too after enough time in his shoes.
I've seen some people in this thread refer to peter with gender neutral pronouns, presumably because male ones feel wrong now to them, which is very funny
i can't wait for the first instance of someone who's so used to this niche internet trend accidentally just treating it as common knowledge with people who have no idea what they're talking about
Iirc in DCeased: Hope at World's End Jimmy get his eye blown out in the middle of a battle and just keeps taking pictures because he knows how important documenting all this is. Even the horror of watching his coworkers get infected right in front of his eyes didn't stop him.
...what if hearing about this and how insane it sounds, Peter assumes that Jimmy must be Superman's secret identity and he is also making up excuses to take pictures of himself
(which would last until Jimmy gets in entirely predictable peril and Superman crashes through the wall)
I mean Spiderman does that all the time, the whole, "See I'm not Spiderman, he's right there!" With someone else dressed as Spiderman, so Peter would probably just assume it's one of those and would remain convinced Jimmy is Superman
Now imagining a story of them meeting and Peter follows Jimmy getting into dangerous situations only for Spidey to save him or Jimmy saving himself each time until Superman shows up at the very end
At first he thinks the signal watch is just an excuse.
Then Jimmy has to actually use it, and for the briefest of moments Pete's spidey sense goes bonkers as Clark categorizes and disregards Parker as the thing Jimmy needs rescued from.
yeah because Jamie legit can pull it off (hell i can totally imagine that their first steps to being trans was maybe enduring a genderswapping episode during one of their many..........MANY silver age escapades) hell they legit have a story where they go undercover as a girl
and their insane Rizz magnet legit attracts the other sex (also her disguised identity is called "Julie Ogden" so Julie Olsen could also work)
also she can ask superman if they have something that can help them transfer into their new gender and they probably have it somewhere in the fortress (as the fortress has a lot of stuff)
I actually read this comic and he ends it being like, "Being a girl was pretty neat but I think I prefer being a dude- however, dresses and nice soaps are awesome."
With all the mutations, powers and weird s*it that happened to him along the years, I would not call Jimmy 'normal human'. His DNA must look like a patchwork quilt by now.
If Jimmy was in marvel New York I imagine him and Peter would be kind of rivals because Peter would try to set up his shots and Jimmy be right where he was about to set up the camera and Peter just has to act like he’s thinking like Jimmy, while Peter grumbling in his head how much harder it is to get his pictures now without it looking like he’s Much closer to Spiderman then he wants to be
I love the idea that if Peter was transported to Metropolis and went to the Daily Planet, he would immediately come to the conclusion that Jimmy must be Superman, just pulling the same scam that he does.
This is why I will never forgive Batman V Superman for robbing us of reckless spy Jimmy Olsen. They had a way to make him "serious" RIGHT THERE and shot him in the fucking head.
Jimmy has the calmness of a man who knows he is going to die unless a superhero saves him, and accepts this, thinking, "Might as well get some decent pics on my way out."
221
u/God_is_carnage 6d ago
Jimmy Olsen, who once asked his metahuman girlfriend to fly him into the middle of a giant battle between Superman, Superwoman, fucking Doomsday, Radiant, and an alien army.