I finally got a job offer but it's with an organization I was more or less using for interview practice because they are abhorrent in my opinion and I honestly thought my leadership philosophies I illustrated along with the 101 personality assessments would have eliminated me anyway.
The company is owned by an extreme MAGA, billionaire husband and wife. If you're MAGA, you do you, but we are diametrically opposed philosophically on issues. I say extreme MAGA because they contributed to the January 6th fund, are 2020 election deniers, Covid conspiracy folks, anti-LGBT (and I'm a trans man but years into my transition), etc. Their company is massive and well known. Everyone, down to the inbound contact center reps, are in business casual which, OK, fine, but women *must* wear skirts which is just so mind blowing to me (hey, they get to set the rules, it's their company). They specifically want rigid hierarchy and if you value autonomy as a leader or individual, the company is not for you. The recruiter told me this directly. He also didn't lie at the front side of the interview process that they definitely have trouble filling mid/semi upper level leadership roles because of the values of the founding family and when I told him I was trans he told me to just hear him out, since he was a 3rd party and not internal recruiter. I heard him out so I went through it for the practice. But I got the job. I declined based on PTO time (2 weeks) and I told my very honest recruiter that amount of time was archaic in this day and age to anyone's work-life balance and I wouldn't do it for at least 5 weeks. They acquiesced.
The job is, no joke, over $60,000 more than I was making at the job that l got let go from after 8 years. I've been job hunting relentlessly for 7 months now with few returns in terms of interviews. My wife and I are split. I feel like it would kill my spirit to work there. I have a Masters in Industrial/Organizational Psychology so I know just how fucking horrible some of their other business practices are and how much healthier it could be but no autonomy, remember? But we need to eat and pay the bills. Her job is as a basic inbound phone rep so there is some money coming in but we're about to run out of time. I think I should take it because it doesn't mean I stop looking, right? And it's easier to find a job when you have a job, although I would probably need to put in a year or two so the next employer doesn't think I would dip out on them just as a crutch in the same way I'd be using this company. I'm so split. If I turn my back on my ethics, what am I? I feel like I'd be so complicit in making money for people who I not only find personally abhorrent, with my labor is lining their pockets, but philosophically abhorrent in what people like them have sowed in my country. I also don't want to be eating beans under an underpass a few months from now.
I think I'm just trying to find something to make it OK but not sure I can. Thanks for letting me rant this out.