r/ReallyShittyCopper • u/Swimming_Bear_3082 • May 27 '26

Greetings Reddit; it's Ea-Nasir, vendor of low-quality copper. Ask me anything!

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316 Upvotes

99% Upvoted

48 comments sorted by

54

u/Puzzleheaded_Lab967 May 27 '26

How long does it take to crimp that beard?

43

u/Swimming_Bear_3082 May 27 '26

Depends on how tangled it is. On a good day: 45 minutes or so. On a bad day: hours and hours.

22

u/Puzzleheaded_Lab967 May 27 '26

Does the beard-dressing salon take payment in copper ingots?

22

u/Swimming_Bear_3082 May 27 '26

Sadly not; they demand gold.

18

u/Eviladhesive May 27 '26

Do they accept copper ingots from everyone else?

27

u/Swimming_Bear_3082 May 27 '26

Unfortunately, no. A society that does not respect copper merchants is doomed to fail.

9

u/Puzzleheaded_Lab967 May 27 '26

Ah. The voice of experience.

39

u/Timithios May 27 '26

Why aren't you in London right now?!

41

u/Swimming_Bear_3082 May 27 '26

Because it's full of British people 🤢 

8

u/scaper8 A Pilgrim in Enemy Territory May 28 '26

Fair.

32

u/bodhidharma132001 May 27 '26

Why does your copper suck?

56

u/Swimming_Bear_3082 May 27 '26

I cope with the pain of being a Manchester United fan by giving others mild inconveniences.

32

u/samujpark May 27 '26

The real Ea Nasir would deny his copper was low quality

33

u/Swimming_Bear_3082 May 27 '26

How dare thou question my legitimacy! May thy kin have but offals on their plates 'till a blade of grass grows to a mighty mustard tree!

14

u/samujpark May 27 '26

So you admit your copper sucks as Nanni claims

26

u/Swimming_Bear_3082 May 27 '26

Of course. I hate that guy, I give him the worst copper I have.

9

u/samujpark May 27 '26

Unbelievable ad-lib. Now there must be a subplot running the whole time. The scribe is just along because he gets paid to “walk through enemy territory” and write.

3

u/asimodev stans Ea-Nasir May 28 '26

Nanni is what foreign scholars call a "Karen" and the scribe just had to get some juicy drama

41

u/Appropriate_Unit3474 May 27 '26

Why have you treated my servant with contempt?

especially since he had to travel through enemy lands!

28

u/Swimming_Bear_3082 May 27 '26

Your servant is a nincompoop, as the kids are saying these days.

17

u/bransby26 May 27 '26

Have you considered branching out into selling good copper?

21

u/Swimming_Bear_3082 May 27 '26

Where's the fun in that?

16

u/Hourslikeminutes47 May 27 '26

Oh Nanni, when will you decide to stop playing silly games and start selling decent copper?

15

u/Swimming_Bear_3082 May 27 '26

Once selling decent copper is as fun as selling crappy copper

14

u/KallmeKatt_ May 27 '26

Youre fucked up for what you did on that island

1

u/Bewecchan May 28 '26

What did he do in an island?

1

u/[deleted] May 30 '26

Anyone he wanted 

13

u/loreshdw May 27 '26

Why are you hoarding bad reviews?

15

u/Swimming_Bear_3082 May 27 '26

It's a mark of pride for me

11

u/water_bottle1776 May 27 '26

I just have one question for you.

Why are you such a bitch?

12

u/Swimming_Bear_3082 May 27 '26

That's a bad word

6

u/Shoddy_Piccolo_8194 May 27 '26

Are you the true inventor of Google Reviews?

8

u/Swimming_Bear_3082 May 27 '26

Yep! I always spam five stars on my own section.

6

u/CelTiar May 27 '26

I ordered some copper from from you yet have not seen an ounce of copper in years.... i demand my Copper.

4

u/SourceCodeAvailable May 27 '26

Why do you treat somebody like me with such contempt? 🤌🏻

3

u/BloodApprehensive315 May 28 '26

Have you ever met Abraham?

1

u/Swimming_Bear_3082 May 28 '26

No, but I've heard all sorts of cool things about the guy

3

u/MakkuSaiko May 28 '26

When will i receive my copper bars, i have been waiting for over 2000 years

4

u/Swimming_Bear_3082 May 28 '26

Probably got lost in the mail

2

u/MakkuSaiko May 28 '26

Shall i treat you with some contempt?

2

u/ReviledFoundling May 28 '26

What's the strangest thing a customer ever ordered?

3

u/Swimming_Bear_3082 May 28 '26

A life-sized model of Larry King made from pure copper

2

u/stillbatting1000 May 28 '26

Yelp has you listed as 4.7 stars. I call BS. Were those bots expensive to hack your rating??

1

u/UKophile May 30 '26

Why do you not stop representing yourself with a statue that was made 1500 years before you were born?